Joan Rivers died over three years ago during surgery in New York City.
And this week her daughter Melissa Rivers gave a new interview to Closer Weekly about what her mother was really like.
‘Her strong work ethic stemmed from a deep-rooted insecurity. She was insecure about her looks, her age, being overlooked, not being relevant,’ said the Fashion Police star.
New take: Joan Rivers died over three years ago during surgery in New York City. And this week her daughter Melissa Rivers gave a new interview to Closer Weekly about what her mother was really like; seen in 2005
‘She’d get frustrated and say, “Watch! As soon as I die, everyone’s going to come out of the woodwork to say I was the best, yet I can’t book a job and I’m being told I’m too old.”
‘Her biggest fear was being forgotten. That’s why she did Fashion Police, which really started from us working the red carpets at awards shows. It introduced her to a whole new generation.
‘There were younger people out there whose first exposure to my mom was from her work at events like the Oscars. They never even knew she hosted The Tonight Show.’
Interesting: ‘She’d get frustrated and say, “Watch! As soon as I die, everyone’s going to come out of the woodwork to say I was the best, yet I can’t book a job and I’m being told I’m too old”‘; seen in 1984
Melissa added: ‘She felt that if you allow yourself to sit back and say, “Look at all I accomplished,” you stopped looking forward. That’s when you got stale. That led to her always being so driven — and fearless with her comedy. At one point, she said, “F–k it! What are they going to do to me that they haven’t already done?” Despite her insecurities, she was always most confident with her ability to perform live.’
Melissa has already written about her mom in the book Joan Rivers Confidential which came out in October.
But she has more to say, like how Joan loved formality.
What made mom tick: Melissa added: ‘She felt that if you allow yourself to sit back and say, “Look at all I accomplished,” you stopped looking forward. That’s when you got stale’; seen in 1993
‘When we sat down for dinner in our smaller dining room — salad, a main course, the works — the table would be set.
‘It was French service every night with place mats and finger bowls. I’m very adept at formal dining settings because, even though our houseman would serve us, I was still expected to clear the table in between courses.’
She added: ‘My mom’s biggest was Thanksgiving. Even after my father had died, she’d have huge gatherings in NYC and they were beautiful, elegant, and wonderful dinners. There’d be 35 or 40 people at one long table and everyone had to dress up. She thought of every last little detail and everything was perfect.
They did TV together: ‘Though she never pressured me to follow in her show business footsteps, she did want me to have a fulfilling life and to always be working and doing. To never just sit around.’ Seen in 1995
Two good to be true: The ladies at the Emmy Awards in LA in 1999
‘All the ladies, for example, would get a beautiful, tiny flower on their place setting, or everyone would get a Christmas ornament. Or there’d be gorgeously wrapped sweets to go when everyone was leaving.
‘In addition to her Thanksgiving dinners, she also had gatherings for Passover, birthdays, and other holidays. At every event, she’d have us go around the table and say what we were grateful for, what the best part of the year was, something we’d learned and stuff like that. I continue that tradition to this day, even if everyone is, like, “Ugh.” I laugh and say, “Too bad! She made us do it, so we’re still doing it!” I do it in honor of her.’
And she recognizes that her family is small.
‘For a long time, especially after my mother passed away in 2014, I’ve wished I’d had a sibling so I wasn’t the only person who was holding on to these memories. My mom’s intention was never for me to be an only child, but she had a terrible tubular pregnancy and then three or four miscarriages after me.’
She has one son, Cooper: And she recognizes that her family is small. ‘For a long time, especially after my mother passed away in 2014, I’ve wished I’d had a sibling so I wasn’t the only person who was holding on to these memories’; seen in 2011
And she talked her mother’s love life.
‘She had two significant relationships after Dad passed, though, so she did find happiness.
‘She just never felt the need to get remarried. But I gotta tell you, she did like the big ring one of them gave her!
‘She never lived with anyone, however, and she’d joke it was nice to be able to send someone back to their own place.
New path: ‘When I lost her, I lost my best friend, so it hasn’t been easy. But through all of her ups and downs, all the good and the bad, she always taught me that you can absolutely survive anything,’ she said
‘Mom had no real regrets, and she always taught me to be mindful of how fortunate we were. Once, not long before she died, she turned to me as we were getting in a car in Manhattan and said, “Look at this. I’m 80 and they’re still sending a car for me. Isn’t that great?” She never took it for granted, and she didn’t want me to, either.
‘Though she never pressured me to follow in her show business footsteps, she did want me to have a fulfilling life and to always be working and doing. To never just sit around.
‘When I lost her, I lost my best friend, so it hasn’t been easy. But through all of her ups and downs, all the good and the bad, she always taught me that you can absolutely survive anything.’