Don’t laugh, but I’ve watched Bohemian Rhapsody 12 times: BONNIE ESTRIDGE on life with Alzheimer’s  

I have a new favourite phrase: ‘Where is my…’ It is usually said while I’m stomping around the house, hissing and cursing. Don’t get me wrong, I know how annoying it is. Both my daughters – when they lived with us – and my husband Chris often seemed unable to leave the house without first rushing around trying to find their keys, bag, wallet, you name it.

Before you say it’s a family trait, I usually knew where they’d put it: right slap bang in the middle of the kitchen table. Not there, I’d say? Try your coat pocket. And so on.

Now I’m the one completely unable to find that wretched mobile phone. Or dog lead. Or, today, my bobble hat.

In other news, I’m obsessed with Bohemian Rhapsody, the new Queen biopic. Seriously. Chris and I went to see it at the cinema with our friends Liz and Nick. And then when I got home, I downloaded it and watched it again. And again. I think I’ve now watched it ten times. I don’t really remember a lot of it, so it’s just as enjoyable every time

My consultant says the reason I like seeing the same film over and over comes back down to routines: it is comforting for those of us with the A Word, when things are familiar. Personally, I think I just love the music. So who knows

My consultant says the reason I like seeing the same film over and over comes back down to routines: it is comforting for those of us with the A Word, when things are familiar. Personally, I think I just love the music. So who knows

Half the time, even when the house phone rings I have a hard time locating it. I’m convinced things are moving of their own accord.

To make matters worse, Chris has decided the house needs completely redecorating. We’re having parts remodelled. Walls moved. New kitchen, new bathrooms. The lot.

The renovations have given Chris something to really get stuck into. But I didn’t want to do it.

I never liked change at the best of times. And now I like it even less. It’s most discombobulating – and that’s a word that sums up Alzheimer’s beautifully.

If you want to know what it’s like: have you ever parked in a car park you’ve never been to, and then come back hours later and really had no idea where your car is? That sudden, blank feeling of not knowing something no matter how hard you try? The memory is just not there. That’s what it’s like for me. On a regular basis.

I spoke to my neurologist, Professor Peter Garrard, at St George’s Hospital, Tooting, about it all.

He said Alzheimer’s means my ability to make and store new memories is ‘weaker’.

That means remembering day-to-day events that help us all get around – knowing where you left an object, or how to get from A to B – is more difficult. He suggests keeping a regular timetable and sticking to a routine, and not putting myself in unfamiliar situations.

As I’ve reported previously, I got lost while driving myself to the dentist last year. It was a journey I’d done dozens of times, but not regularly enough, according to Prof Garrard, for it to stick in my memory.

The A Word has claimed that small piece of information, along with many others.

So I stick to places I know well. I walk my dog Benny or pop down to the shops. And I’m sure I’ll get used to the new house.

In other news, I’m obsessed with Bohemian Rhapsody, the new Queen biopic. Seriously.

Chris and I went to see it at the cinema with our friends Liz and Nick. And then when I got home, I downloaded it and watched it again. And again. I think I’ve now watched it ten times. I don’t really remember a lot of it, so it’s just as enjoyable every time.

I was talking to a friend about the film, and my days as a showbiz reporter days came flooding back: going round to Kenny Everett’s house in Kensington to do an interview

I was talking to a friend about the film, and my days as a showbiz reporter days came flooding back: going round to Kenny Everett’s house in Kensington to do an interview

In my head, I sort of know what happens. But if you asked me to tell you the plot, I wouldn’t be able to. Even stranger, I was talking to a friend about the film, and my days as a showbiz reporter days came flooding back: going round to Kenny Everett’s house in Kensington to do an interview.

Kenny’s sidekick Cleo Rocos was there and so was Mary Austin, who was once married to Freddie Mercury!

I know it happened because I checked with Chris, who worked with me as a photographer back in the 1970s.

Prof Garrard says the reason I like seeing the same film over and over comes back down to routines: it is comforting for those of us with the A Word, when things are familiar.

Personally, I think I just love the music. So who knows.

I suppose I’m a bit like Benny, who will endlessly play with a toy that he loves. Then he’ll drop it somewhere, and come up to me whining – he can’t remember where he put it. Off we go to find it, and then he goes back to playing with it again.

Well, you know what they say about dogs and their owners…

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