It can be quite hard for men to make the right choice. Today we will discuss the psychology of cheating in relationships and how men come to it.
Have you ever done acts against your will because a desire led you, or the fear of the unknown stopped you before making a choice? And this feeling was stronger than your will! It can be quite tricky to know what you are feeling, so be sure to check out https://contactbrides.com/blog/; lots of useful articles will help you out with that.
Did you have to justify yourself at least once when being accused of infidelity? As if it was not you who did something, but you were pulled by the rope and led along like a puppet in a puppet theater. But this contradicts that a person makes decisions for which he is responsible for.
It happened to me too, until one day I doubted that such different, contradictory things like Will and Desire can have one source – my Ego! The will was undoubtedly mine: it came from me, was the result of my personal efforts. What about desires, fears of the unknown, addictions? Where do they all come from, and how they entered my head? Do they arise in a “natural,” legal way, as manifestations of my ego, my personality? Or are they being smuggled in from outside, bypassing consciousness, so that I would not suspect deception and accept these desires as true and useful?
It’s worse. The psychology of cheating says that everyone has such desires. And the worst thing is that these vulgar desires are taken at face value. So how do you differentiate between them? All of it is akin to the passion of gambling and alcoholism. The psychology of this phenomenon has a double determination, which means justifying the intentions and fantasies of the pseudo-conscious arguments of their actions and fears.
Here’s an example of the psychology behind cheating. Suppose a love triangle has formed: a husband, a wife, and a mistress. The man decides to leave his wife and tells her that he is leaving the family because he loves another woman. But, as happens in most cases, and as practice shows, after a certain period of time, the husband decides to return to his wife. More precisely, to himself laying on the couch, watching tv. But the wife in disarray, too, is building her plans and schemes. And here our “Hero” is torn, explaining himself as best as he can.
What is the problem here? The problem is that this “hero” always justifies his decision to leave the family not by what’s “true” but by pseudo-conscious arguments. Although the reason may be elementary: he simply does not know how to build relationships and/or solve problems in the family and runs away from them. He thinks there is another woman, another life. But in fact, the problems of building relationships are the same, and you have to take responsibility for yourself in any family.
Psychological dictionary states:
“Attraction is an instinctive desire that encourages an individual to act in the direction of satisfying this desire. It’s a mental state expressing an undifferentiated, unconscious, or insufficiently conscious need of the subject.”
So, to finalize our understanding of a cheating husband psychology, how does desire differ from the will, and what role does attraction play here? Both of them are stimuli as an incentive for action. The difference between them is that a person thinks over volitional decisions, leads them through consciousness and his own “I” in the interests of his Ego.
Desires arise suddenly, out of nothing, like bubbles on water, and their conformity to the interests of a person who suddenly discovered them in himself is under a big question. And all the stranger is how much power some desires can possess. To make a volitional decision and perform it, you need to make a lot of effort, and the desire seems to be pushed by an unknown force; it is charged with unknown energy that has come from somewhere. From the hero of the novel, the “hero” turns into a brat student. It’s as if someone’s consciousness, that is contrary to my will, forces me to do something, the desire comes from somewhere else, and not from me.
This difference is at the heart of psychology of cheating men.