If you’re struggling to connect with your children, you’re not alone.
Although two thirds of British parents say they’d like to spend more quality time as a family, new research reveals that they’re missing out on up to a full week each year – because they spend it resolving domestic dramas.
On the back of the new research, psychologist and family expert Corinne Sweet has created a simple quiz for parents to assess how connected they are to their family – and shares her advice on how to improve it.
Answer the below questions, making a note of your answer, and check the pink boxes at the bottom to assess how connected you are to your children.
Psychologist and family expert Corinne Sweet has created a simple quiz for parents to assess how connected they are to their family
1. Do you ever have days where you feel like you don’t spend any real quality time together?
a. Yes, often
b. Yes, sometimes
c. No, never or hardly ever
2. Do your children ever comment that you don’t spend enough quality time together?
a. Yes, often
b. Yes, sometimes
c. No, never or hardly ever
3. How long do you spend resolving a domestic drama (such as splitting up fighting children, or tantrums when the TV goes off) each day?
a. Less than half an hour
b. Around an hour
c. More than an hour
4. How many times do you have to ask your child to do something (like teeth brushing or coming to the table) a day?
a. Once or twice
b. Three to four times
c. Five or more times
5. Do you ever find yourself resorting to bribery to get your kids to do things?
a. Yes, all the time
b. Yes, sometimes
c. No, never or hardly ever
6. How often do you eat at the table with the whole family present?
a. We try to eat together once a day
b. It varies, but about two to four times a week
c. We struggle, possibly once a week, sometimes not
7. How often does dinner time end early due to a temper tantrum or someone storming off?
a. Once a week
b. Two to three times a week
c. Four times a week or more
The research, which was commissioned by Dolmio to support the ‘No drama’ campaign and TVC, suggests that it’s often what’s on the menu that causes drama and cuts dinner short; children’s avoidance of vegetables was the number one dinner disruptor, followed by refusal to eat what’s been prepared.
Nearly a fifth of parents also reported children demanding a different meal or asking for dessert before eating their dinner (16 per cent).
So how do we get the family around the table to try a new dinner, without it ending up in the bin or spawning a domestic drama?
Parents use all kinds of tips and tricks to coax their children into eating their dinners, but the promise of pudding is by far the most commonly used. The second most popular bribe is the promise of tech access, as nearly a quarter admit to offering more TV, tablet or phone time as a way of making their children eat.
Corinne Sweet highlights that whilst it’s tempting to appease children with a dessert or television, the focus should be on creating a fun, family atmosphere that everyone can get involved with.
She concluded: ‘Try involving children in meal planning, deciding together what you will eat as a family and then getting involved with the preparation and a bit of cooking.
Not only will this encourage healthy eating habits for the future, but when children feel involved in decision making they are less likely to throw a tantrum or waste food.
Fun dinner time games can be a good way to start the meal off on a positive note, for instance: ‘High, low, and haha’ – where everyone shares the peak, the low and the funniest moment of their day.’