Popular children are more likely to be anxious adults

It is the moral of Hollywood films from The Breakfast Club to Mean Girls.

Now psychologists have agreed that it is better to have good friends when you are in school than to be popular.

A study found 15-year-olds who have close friends have higher self-esteem and fewer symptoms of depression a decade later. 

But teenagers who are popular in school, without these genuine friendships, are actually more socially anxious as adults. 

The authors, from the University of Virginia, suggest behaviours which make teenagers popular among large groups of their peers, such as drinking, drug-taking and losing their virginity early, may not be good for their mental health as adults.

Seeking social status, rather than close, genuine friendships, may be more unhealthy. 

Meanwhile school losers could become winners in later life because their small groups of friends help them develop the skills they will need for romantic relationships.

Co-author Joseph Allen, professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, said: ‘Our study affirms that forming strong close friendships is likely one of the most critical pieces of the teenage social experience.

The authors, from the University of Virginia, suggest behaviours which make teenagers popular among large groups of their peers, such as drinking, drug-taking and losing their virginity early, may not be good for their mental health as adults (stock image) 

‘Being well-liked by a large group of people cannot take the place of forging deep, supportive friendships. And these experiences stay with us, over and above what happens later.

‘As technology makes it increasingly easy to build a social network of superficial friends, focusing time and attention on cultivating close connections with a few individuals should be a priority.’

The study, published in the journal Child Development, monitored 169 15-year-olds every year for a decade.

The teenagers’ popularity was judged by collecting ‘most-liked’ nominations from their peers, while they were questioned about the strength of their friendships, feelings of depression, self-worth, social anxiety and how socially accepted they felt.

The results show the schoolchildren who prioritised close friendships had lower social anxiety, an increased sense of self-worth, and fewer symptoms of depression by the time they reached age 25 than their peers.

Conversely, the popular kids had higher levels of social anxiety as young adults.

The authors state: ‘These teens may be focused more on status and short-term rewards or relationships that either do not reflect or do not lead to positive long-term emotional health in the way that being involved in a reciprocal positive dyadic friendship does.’

They suggest children with close friends feel more unique, more close to others and benefit from exchanging secrets, loyalty and boosts to their self-esteem.

But they say popularity may depend on social dominance, with the people who consider someone popular perhaps not even liking them. 

Meanwhile these children can damage their future prospects by focusing on being liked more than their schoolwork.

Study leader Dr Rachel Narr said: ‘Our research found that the quality of friendships during adolescence may directly predict aspects of long-term mental and emotional health.’

Happily for unpopular children who hope they will have better luck with the opposite sex in later life, the authors suggest that may be the case.

They conclude: ‘The skills required in establishing and maintaining intimacy and depth in close friendships, which take on particular importance by middle adolescence, would seem to provide more natural scaffolding for success in later romantic relationships than the skills required in gaining acceptance by a broader peer group.

‘In romantic relationships, as in close friendships, there are similar expectations for support, individual attention, warmth, and conflict resolution abilities.’