Jess Bratton remembers the turning point for her child Logan like it was yesterday, when she caught her three-year-old attempting to cut off his penis with a pair of scissors.
The shocking incident made mum-of-two Jess, from Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, realise that doll-loving Logan, who was born a boy, was not simply going through a phase.
As a tot, Logan, now eight, had always shown more interest in girls’ clothes and make-up than getting muddy and playing football, and even at the age of one would wear tea towels on her head, wishing for long hair.
But his doting mum just assumed it was something all children went through – until the moment with the scissors. Since then, Jess made the decision to allow Logan to grow up as a girl. He is now she.
Logan, 8, from Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, is growing up as a girl and is referred to as she, after her mother found her trying to cut off her penis when she was three-years-old
Jess, 25, recalled: ‘I was in the kitchen making dinner, with my back to Logan’s bedroom door. She was chattering away to her dolls but suddenly went silent.
‘I shouted her name and got no response, so seconds later I went into her room and caught her sitting on the bed with her trousers down, holding a pair of scissors to her bits.
‘I gasped loudly, which made her jump, and quickly took the scissors off her. Then I just held her in my arms and we both cried.
‘Afterwards I explained that cutting herself would really hurt and that because she wanted to do something so drastic, we would have to talk to a doctor.’
Logan, now eight, had always shown more interest in girls’ clothes and make-up than getting muddy and playing football
Before Christmas, Logan left school looking like a boy and waering a male uniform (left). Logan now goes to school wearing a dress, after becoming more confident in her own skin during lockdown (right)
Jess Bratton, 25, assumed that Logan was going through a phase with requests to wear make-up and dresses
As Logan’s younger sister Lylah (right) got older, the pair of them became more like sisters than brother and sister, and Logan’s desire to be a girl never went away
‘That day made me realise the severity of the situation. It wasn’t just a phase; my little boy really did want to be a girl.’
Jess couldn’t bear to see Logan unhappy, and she knew things would have to change.
She approached her family GP to explain the scissors episode and that her son no longer wanted to wear boys’ clothes.
The doctor said it couldn’t be ruled out that Logan’s yearning to be a girl wasn’t a phase, but said he was too young for counselling.
While younger photos of Logan show him with short hair and dressed in sporty t-shirts and shorts, there are now far more family photos of him wearing cropped tops and dresses
Jess said that she encouraged Logan to embrace ‘boyish’ pursuits like playing football in the park, but realised that she couldn’t force the issue. Now Logan is more interested in experimenting with different beauty looks such as false eyelashes (right)
Jess pictured enjoying a splash about in the paddling pool with her daughters Laylah and Logan
Jess said: ‘My GP said there wasn’t really anything we could do but requested I keep a close eye on Logan in the meantime.
‘Before this, I had tried to encourage Logan to dress in boys’ clothing and play with boys’ toys, but after the scare I decided to welcome her wish to change.’
Not long before the incident, Jess had given birth to her youngest child Lylah, with Logan doting on his little sister from the start.
While younger photos of Logan show him with short hair and dressed in sporty t-shirts and shorts, there are now far more family photos of him wearing cropped tops and dresses.
Jess, a healthcare assistant for residents with mental health and dementia, said: ‘When Logan was just one, she was wearing tea towels on her head, wishing for long hair. As soon as she was old enough, she started asking to do my hair and make-up. She was just so interested in me – as well as her sister when she was born.
Now Jess says Logan (right) and Lylah, six, act like typical sisters, arguing over make-up and their Bratz and LOL Surprise dolls
As Logan’s younger sister Laylah (left) grew up, it prompted Logan to become more and more interested in wearing dresses to be like her
Logan is currently sticking with the name she was given when she was born, but may want to change it in the future
‘As Lylah got older, the pair of them became more like sisters than brother and sister, and Logan’s desire to be a girl never went away. In fact, it only got stronger.
‘When Logan was six, she started talking about having a sex change. She told me she didn’t want her bits and kept saying she wanted a ‘Mary’ like me and her sister! I told her that when she was a little older, the doctors would be able to help her.’
Now Jess says Logan and Lylah, six, act like typical sisters, arguing over make-up and their Bratz and LOL dolls, but are always there for each other.
She said: ‘They love dressing up for me and their step-dad Steve and come downstairs modelling outfits for their ‘fashion shows’. They get us to judge them in singing and dancing competitions, and even do each other’s make-up for ‘photo shoots’. They are never happier than when they are playing together.’
Lockdown has emabled Logan to discover her true self and feel more confident. She loves when people refer to her as a girl when they family are out in public
Jess, who is separated from Logan’s father, is relieved that the reaction from family and friends has been positive.
She said: ‘Logan has a strong support network and luckily, has only had good things said to her. At the beginning there was the odd person telling me to ‘nip it in the bud’ and to stop her wearing girls’ clothes, but I wasn’t too worried. I knew it was normal for kids to try new things or experiment.
‘There were times when I really tried to get her to be a boy, encouraging her to play football with other boys at the park, but she refused. She wouldn’t even entertain it and still won’t – and I don’t want to force her.’
Logan never showed much interest in getting muddy, playing football, or wearing boy’s clothing, even though Jess gently tried to encourage it
On the 8th March, during the country’s third lockdown, Jess made the brave decision to allow Logan to return to school wearing a girls’ uniform.
Jess said: ‘Before Christmas, Logan left school looking like a boy. Now she’s gone back dressed in a girls’ uniform for the first time. This is all because of how much she’s grown in confidence throughout lockdown.
‘It’s been a really positive time for Logan – it has given her the chance to discover her true self.’
Because the family didn’t have the usual social arrangements, Logan felt free to dress as she liked. On trips to the supermarket, she dressed in a skirt, girly accessories and wore make-up.
Jess said that she’s happy for Logan, pictured with her younger sister, to have appropriate hormone blockers when she hits puberty, as well as gender reassignment surgery when she’s 18
Jess said: ‘She loved it when the cashiers referred to her as a girl and said she looked just like me.’
On his first day back last month, Logan wore a girls’ skirt with the school jumper, frilly socks, girls’ patent shoes, ponytail and hairband.
A proud Jess said: ‘She’s always been too scared to go to school dressed as a girl but being in lockdown has actually allowed Logan to become confident enough to just go for it.
‘While she couldn’t stop smiling, I was a nervous wreck! I was so worried about her getting bullied.
‘I spoke to a few parents from the school and Logan’s teacher about it beforehand, and they were all so positive.
‘Thankfully, the school has been so supportive. Logan’s teacher has also shown her class a YouTube video about being transgender and her friends think she’s cooler because of it.’
Logan is currently keeping her name, but Jess explains that could change.
She said: ‘She is happy to keep it for the moment, but because she feels different, she wants a new name.
‘We’ve discussed it in the past and Logan has chosen a few names, but they keep changing. I’m sure she will find one soon that will just stick.’
In January 2021, because Logan continued to ask about a sex change, Jess took him back to the doctors.
She said: ‘I asked the GP for their advice and they suggested she might benefit from the GIDS service, so Logan has been referred there for an assessment.’
Now the pair are waiting for an appointment at the Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) in London, a highly specialised clinic for young people uncomfortable or unhappy about their gender identity.
Jess said: ‘Logan is looking forward to it. It will allow her to talk about how she feels, and we can choose the path she feels most comfortable following.
‘I’m happy for Logan to have the appropriate hormone blockers when she hits puberty, as well as gender reassignment surgery when she’s 18.’
Jess admits that being the parent of a transgender child can be lonely. She wants to share her story to help anyone else going through something similar.
She said: ‘At first, I thought, ‘why me?’ It was a lonely place to be, but I quickly picked myself up.
‘I didn’t know anybody else going through the same thing, so I did lots of research online and found a few support groups on Facebook.
‘As well as showing how proud I am of Logan, I want to share my story to raise awareness about being transgender and to urge other parents not to be embarrassed about their child’s choices.’
Five years after the scissors incident and with Logan still wanting to be a girl, Jess doesn’t think things will change.
‘She may only be eight years old, but I’m confident she’s not going to change her mind about becoming the opposite sex. Of course I have the odd moment when I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, but that’s because I care so much for Logan.
‘But when I really think about it, she has always been a girl. She has never ever liked boys’ stuff, not even before she could talk. She knows she is still a boy but says that on the inside, she’s a girl. Whatever happens, I just want her to be happy. That’s all that really matters.’