A former soldier who survived armed conflict in Iraq and Kosovo has revealed how he got married, faced terminal illness and had a baby with his new wife all within 20 moths.
Owen Murray, 39, has crammed a lifetime of experiences into a few months with nutritional therapist Laura Murray, 38, after they met through a dating app in October 2019.
Shortly after Laura and Owen moved in together in Long Itchington, Warwickshire, in February 2020, Owen was diagnosed with stage four rectum cancer.
Despite the turmoil, Owen insists ‘every day is a gift’ and that his daughter’s birth is the ‘best thing that’s every happened to him’.
Owen Murray, 39, has crammed a lifetime of experiences into a few months with nutritional therapist Laura Murray, 38, after they met through a dating app in October 2019
The former soldier who survived armed conflict in Iraq and Kosovo has revealed how he got married, faced terminal illness and had a baby with his new wife all within 20 moths
Now working as a training manager, he said: ‘Our relationship has certainly been a baptism of fire.
‘We’d been discussing getting a puppy, so the day after my diagnosis, we got a cocker spaniel, Bodhi.
‘Our next surprise came two weeks after my diagnosis, when we discovered Laura was pregnant.
‘I’m still unsure which was the bigger shock, the cancer or the baby. We’d never even spoken about children, although having one is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!’
Shortly after Laura and Owen moved in together in Long Itchington, Warwickshire, in February 2020, Owen was diagnosed with stage four rectum cancer
Now working as a training manager, he said: ‘Our relationship has certainly been a baptism of fire’. Pictured on their wedding day
As 2020 unfolded, it became a year of hospital visits for Laura and Owen – for her pregnancy and his cancer treatment.
Early on, doctors discovered that while Owen’s main tumour was in his rectum, the cancer had spread into his lymphatic system and another growth was lurking in his liver.
Owen had first saw a doctor in September 2019 three months after noticing bleeding from his bottom.
At that point, the tumour in his rectum was too big to safely operate on, so they opted to blast the cancer everywhere with eight sessions of chemotherapy between April and July at Stratford Hospital.
As 2020 unfolded, it became a year of hospital visits for Laura and Owen – for her pregnancy and his cancer treatment. Pictured on their wedding day
Sadly, it was not successful.
‘They had to move on to plan B – radiotherapy on the tumour in my rectum,’ Owen said.
By then, there were four tumours in his liver, resulting in a liver resection, in August 2020, during which a third of the organ and the growths were removed in a seven-hour operation.
But the epidural was not perfect and Owen was left with a post dural puncture headache, which is extremely painful and can only happen after this procedure.
He said: ‘It’s like having an elephant jumping up and down on your brain for four weeks.
‘I couldn’t even open my eyes or lift my head off the pillow.’
More difficult news followed when a scan showed the tumours were starting to grow back and, after just four weeks, the primary growth on his rectum was back to its original size and he already had three tumours on his liver.
Yet more chemotherapy followed between October and December, although Laura’s pregnancy gave Owen a welcome distraction.
And on 18th December at Warwick Hospital, the delighted couple saw the arrival of baby Luna, now seven months.
In the whirlwind style that has become a trademark of their relationship, just five or six hours later, Owen proposed.
‘We were still in the hospital.
‘It was about 5 or 6 hours after Luna was born.
‘She’d had a shower, an hour’s sleep and was feeling a bit more human, so I got down on one knee and after about five minutes of us both crying, Laura said yes!’
But, just three days after they had sealed their love with a baby and a proposal, Owen was given the devastating news that his treatment had not worked, there was nothing else available to him on the NHS and his cancer was terminal.
He said: ‘We both knew it was an option, but we hadn’t dwelt on it.
‘It was quite something to absorb at such an emotional time anyway.’
Early on, doctors discovered that while Owen’s main tumour was in his rectum, the cancer had spread into his lymphatic system and another growth was lurking in his liver
Owen had first saw a doctor in September 2019 three months after noticing bleeding from his bottom
At first, the tumour in his rectum was too big to safely operate on, so they opted to blast the cancer everywhere with eight sessions of chemotherapy between April and July at Stratford Hospital
A born fighter, giving up was not in his DNA.
Instead, while some friends raised £26,000 doing the Three Peaks Challenge to help with private treatment costs, the couple found a clinical trial in Oxford, offering an experimental chemotherapy drug, which Owen began in March this year.
Nine weeks later, when it had not worked, he had more chemotherapy.
Alongside his conventional treatment, Owen, a vegan, used diet, exercise and vitamins to keep his cancer at bay and scoured the internet for alternative cancer busting therapies being offered here and abroad.
Alongside his conventional treatment, Owen, a vegan, used diet, exercise and vitamins to keep his cancer at bay and scoured the internet for alternative cancer busting therapies being offered here and abroad
There were four tumours in his liver, resulting in a liver resection, in August 2020, during which a third of the organ and the growths were removed in a seven-hour operation. His surgery scar is pictured
Launching a GoFundMe page with a £30,000 target, to help pay for everything, they found a clinic in Badmergentheim, Germany, offering treatment which they both hope will at least prolong Owen’s life, although they both hang on to the even greater hope that he could be cured.
He said: ‘I take each day as it comes. Every day I get on this planet is a gift, but I’d like more than one or two more.
‘I am under no illusion about how serious my condition is. It’ s a very, very tough disease and the survival rates from it are quite low.
‘If I can turn three months into six, or six months into 12, then that will be wonderful,
More difficult news followed when a scan showed the tumours were starting to grow back and, after just four weeks, the primary growth on his rectum was back to its original size and he already had three tumours on his liver. Pictured on their wedding day
Just three days after they had sealed their love with a baby and a proposal, Owen was given the devastating news that his treatment had not worked, there was nothing else available to him on the NHS and his cancer was terminal.
‘But people do recover and there’s a chance I could make a full recovery so, of course, I am focusing on that.’
Despite the couple’s positive outlook, Owen’s diagnosis accelerated their need to get married.
In May they tied the knot at the magnificent Coombe Abbey Hotel in Warwickshire.
Owen said: ‘Our wedding day was phenomenal.
Owen was left with a post dural puncture headache, which is extremely painful after getting an epidural
More chemotherapy followed between October and December, although Laura’s pregnancy gave Owen a welcome distraction. The couple are pictured on their wedding gay
‘Along with Luna being born, it was the joint best day of my life. It completely and utterly blew us both away.
‘If Covid and my health hadn’t been in the picture we would have waited 18 months and got married on a beach abroad.
‘But, despite doing everything on an accelerated timescale, we ended up in an amazing venue with 30 of our nearest and dearest and Luna and 100 other people watching on Zoom.
‘It was a fantastic day.’
Owen and Laura Murray, pictured on his birthday in London on November 2019
Owen and Laura, who moved in together for lockdown, on her birthday in July 2020, just after the 12 week scan
Profusely grateful to everyone from Laura to his friends, family, colleagues and his boss for the tremendous support he has received, Owen has now flown to Germany, where he is being assessed while a treatment plan is decided.
Planning to be joined soon by Laura and Luna, once his wife has had her second Covid jab, he said: ‘I hope to be in treatment within a few days.
‘They offer all sorts of things. They use chemotherapy, but in a different way to the NHS and using more types of drugs.
‘There is hyperthermic intraperitoneal chemotherapy, in which warm drugs are pumped into the abdomen and there are things like high dose infusions of vitamin C and mistletoe.’
Owen and his baby daughter Luna a few hours after she was born in December 2020, on the day he proposed to Laura.
Owen and Laura, with daughter Luna and dog Bodhi, at home at the end of January 2021
Keen to try whatever he can, Owen’s optimism is admirable.
He said: ‘I’m always glass half full rather than empty. I’ve always got my chin up.
‘Life at the end of the day is a series of challenges. You either rise to them or you give up and at least I have Laura, who has been my rock.
‘As far as I’m concerned, I’m a really lucky guy. I’m lucky I came home from Iraq in one piece all those years ago.
‘If this thing ends up killing me then that’s what’s meant to be at the end of the day.
Owen has had three rounds of chemotherapy for cancer, pictured having his third round in 2021
Owen was diagnosed with bowel cancer just days before lockdown, pictured during his first lot of chemo in 2020
‘I’m not going to waste any of my life moping about it and I’d advise anyone else in my position to follow my lead and do the same.
‘If you suspect something is wrong, don’t hang around, get yourself checked as soon as possible and look for alternative therapies, as well as the NHS, as time is not your friend.’
Owen is now starting a Vlog – or video blog on YouTube – to keep his loved ones in touch with his progress during his time in Germany.
He said: ‘You could describe mine and Laura’s lives as a perfect storm, but we’ve formed an incredible bond through all this.
‘Every day is a gift for me. I am making the most of enjoying my family and whatever happens, I’ve had a great life and can’t complain at the hand I’ve been dealt.’
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