Former newspaper editor Greg O’Brien has spoken out about the overwhelming anger that Alzheimer’s patients experience – and what this does to their families.
O’Brien talks openly about the rage that swallows him when he becomes confused and forgetful as a result of his disease, speaking of instances during which he has lashed out at his wife, son and random strangers because he is scared.
He talks about the terror he feels after realizing he has become violent and the effect that the process has on his family members, who are having to watch the illness slowly chip away at their father and husband’s mind.
O’Brien’s story, published in Psychology Today, highlights some of the heartbreaking symptoms that Alzheimer’s patients experience and sheds light on the troubling emotions they are often faced with.
Greg O’Brien (left) is pictured here with his daughter Colleen (second from left), wife Mary Catherine (middle), son Conor (second from right) and son Brendan (right) in 2010
O’Brien recently described the uncontrollable fits of anger that he experiences as a result of his early-onset Alzheimer’s
O’Brien lives in Massachusetts with his wife, Mary Catherine and his children Brendan, Colleen and Conor.
His new story, called ‘Seeking Redemption: The Rage of Alzheimer’s’, lays bare the feelings of insecurity that patients feel when their brains are ravaged by the illness, which affects millions of Americans.
‘Such behavior can be initiated by loud, throbbing noises, penetrating confusion, excruciating stress, primal fear, cerebral numbness, paranoia or all of the above,’ he says.
The former writer, reporter and publisher, who is in his early fifties, describes an instance when the feeling was particularly crippling when he misplaced his cell phone.
‘Regrettably, I started yelling, no screaming, at my loving 28-year-old son Conor; not sure why, but I just wanted to strike out,’ he explains.
O’Brien writes that his son suggests that he check his vehicle, which he can no longer drive because of his condition.
‘I could hear the cell phone ringing in the Jeep, the usual iPhone ring, but I could not in my disease discern where the sound was coming from. My brain could not pinpoint the source of the noise,’ he writes.
O’Brien continues to explain that, as someone who has lost their vision would have to do, he felt around the car for the feeling of a vibration until he could locate his cell phone.
The feeling of helplessness became all-consuming after he finally found it, as such a minimal task took a tremendous amount of effort and frustration.
As a result of his anger, he smashed a coffee cup from a trip to New York he had taken with his daughter – which was his favorite souvenir – against a hard surface.
‘In rank anger, I hurled the cup against a nearby stone wall, a perfect strike against granite, a left-handed fastball, though I’m right handed. Rage can up your game,’ he says. ‘The cup exploded upon collision.’
His wife, Mary Catherine, ran out of the house upon hearing the noise. But O’Brien, in a fit of anger, yelled: ‘If you want me, Alzheimer’s, you can (expletive) take me now,’ before pushing past his wife and slamming a door in her face.
He talks about the gut-wrenching moment he understands what he has done, saying: ‘Seconds later, I realized what had just happened; the light was back on in the brain.’
Mary Catherine, who was in tears, hugged her husband and told him that she understood his fit of anger was a result of his illness.
‘Sometimes in Alzheimer’s, rage translates to a loss of a filter,’ O’Brien concludes.
More of O’Brien’s experience can be found in his memoir On Pluto, in which he describes the feeling of losing his mind.