Joseph Kony is a Ugandan warlord and leader of The Lord’s Resistance Army, a cultish militant group that operates in central Africa. He has more than 60 wives and his alleged crimes include murder, kidnapping, rape and military enslavement of more than 30,000 children.
In 2005, he was indicted by the International Criminal Court for war crimes and crimes against humanity, but despite endless efforts by skilled military personnel, he has evaded capture and remains one of Africa’s most dangerous and wanted men.
So it came as a bit of a shock this weekend when we learned — thanks to documents leaked from within the ICC — that in 2012, Angelina Jolie, Oscar-winning film star, mother of many, thrice-married international humanitarian, United Nations special envoy and all-round sex bomb, had offered to come to the ICC’s rescue. Apparently, she had generously offered to hunt Kony down herself.
Kony has more than 60 wives and his alleged crimes include murder, kidnapping, rape and military enslavement of more than 30,000 children
Even more surprising, was that Luis Moreno Ocampo, the dashing Argentine ICC chief prosecutor cited at the time as one of the ‘100 Top Global Thinkers’, not only accepted Angie’s generous offer, but actually pinned his hopes on her succeeding where the ICC, with its £130 million-a-year budget and machine-gun toting Special Forces, had failed.
The plan was simple, though sadly for all Lara Croft: Tomb Raider enthusiasts, it involved no skin-tight Lycra, no bosoms jutting like torpedoes or automatic weapons strapped to Angie’s gleaming thighs. In fact, there were to be no guns at all.
Instead, Angie would be embedded with U.S. Special Forces close to Kony’s stronghold in northern Uganda and act as a honeytrap. And, as one leaked email sent by Moreno Ocampo explains, once settled in, she ‘has the idea to invite Kony to dinner and then arrest him’.
‘Forget other celebrities, she is the one,’ Moreno Ocampo wrote excitedly in another email. ‘She loves to arrest Kony. She is ready. Probably Brad [Pitt, her third husband] will go also.’
The emails were found in 40,000 files obtained by the French investigative website Mediapart and shared with The Sunday Times’ Insight team. Not surprisingly, they have caused quite a stir.
Angie may be the world’s sexiest woman, but was it likely that, after eluding hundreds of highly trained military personnel, a war criminal and alleged mass murderer would let his guard down just for the chance of a dinner date?
Then again, men do have a habit of becoming a bit hot and bothered when face to face with Jolie’s pillowy lips, slender figure, entrancing décolletage and raging social conscience.
The leader of The Lords Resistance Army was indicted for war crimes including the military enslavement of children
When she first appeared at the Davos World Economic Forum in 2005, macroeconomics flew out of the window. Finance ministers apparently became pink and flustered and lost their train of thought. Media moguls were distracted and dreamy.
One senior executive said at the time: ‘No one could concentrate. She has an extraordinary effect…’
Former Foreign Secretary William Hague was famously entranced by Angie’s good works when they met at a film screening in 2011. The pair struck up an immediate friendship and have since worked on a joint mission to end war rape across the world. In 2015, he admitted he was stepping down at the election so he could continue his quest with Angie.
It goes without saying that beetle-browed Moreno Ocampo — a legal heavyweight and anti-corruption expert who had gained fame as assistant prosecutor in the infamous Trial of the Juntas — had a huge crush on Angie.
It began in 2009 when the actress attended the trial of Congo warlord Thomas Lubanga (his conviction for forcibly recruiting child soldiers was Moreno Ocampo’s sole successful prosecution in nine years as ICC chief prosecutor).
Angelina Jolie offered to come to the International Criminal Court’s rescue by hunting down Kony herself
Pleased as punch — the Argentine liked nothing more than the presence of a celebrity to add fairy dust to his daily grind — in 2010 he wrote to Jolie, via her assistant, asking her to become his advisor.
‘I see a role for her helping us to understand and build bridges with the humanitarian campus and with citizens concerned from all over the world,’ he said.
Nothing came of it. Perhaps Jolie was too busy that year starring in The Tourist with Johnny Depp, establishing the Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Foundation to support conservation work in the Kalahari, opening a school in Afghanistan, or looking after her ever-expanding family.
Who knows? But then in 2011, deep joy, she popped up again. She’d written and produced a film about the Bosnian War, In The Land Of Blood And Honey, and wanted to know if he liked it.
Liked it?! He loved it, and despite supposedly having one of the most demanding jobs in international humanitarian law and being in demand as a consultant to the World Bank and UN, found time to watch it over (and over) again.
Unlike some reviewers who considered the dialogue clunky and awkward, or one critic who called it a ‘messy, unnatural war porno’, he was utterly entranced and gushed in an email to her about how he felt it ‘was comparable to Shakespeare’ with a plot ‘so strong I am still recovering’.
Former Foreign Secretary William Hague was famously entranced by Angie’s good works when they met at a film screening in 2011 and has fought to stop rape being used as a weapon with the star
Several days later, having watched it again, he was back in touch, love-bombing her with praise: ‘I am in LA and watched the movie again (4th time)… you are a genius. You did exactly what you said: a love story showing the war horrors. Xx Luis.’
Angie was thrilled.
‘Louis, I wish you could see the smile on my face. You represent with your work all that I value. I’m so happy the film speaks to you.’
Who cared if she’d spelled his name wrongly? Luis certainly did not.
Beneath his carefully trimmed beard, he was so chuffed that he instantly starting planning an important new humanitarian starring role for Ms Jolie: helping bring the evil Joseph Kony to trial.
Angie was immediately on board, going public in a 2012 video calling for Kony’s arrest. ‘He’s an extraordinarily horrible human being who, you know… his time has come and it’s lovely to see young people are raising up as well,’ she said.
And then, apparently, she came up with her cunning honeytrap idea to lure Kony to a dinner in the Central African Republic so he could be arrested.
It was dangerous work. Kony is the sort of man who cuts off people’s lips and noses and forces children to kill their parents and siblings with machetes.
Even by Jolie’s standards — she is the sort of woman who used to wear a vial of her second husband’s blood in a necklace and has never shied from doing the unexpected — the plan seemed deeply unadvisable.
But Moreno Ocampo was thrilled. He liaised with anti-Kony pressure group Invisible Children and the Special Forces trying to trap Kony, and reported back: ‘You can be embedded with the Special Forces chasing Kony. Can Brad go with you?
‘It will be great to spend more time with the American troops,’ he wrote. ‘They are eager to get Kony, but after meeting you, they will do it.’
Angelina Jolie was prepared to lure Joseph Kony, a man who eluded hundreds of highly trained military personnel, to dinner
Perhaps he meant she would inspire them to succeed where everyone before had failed. Perhaps he felt she really would be able to lure Kony into a trap.
Whatever, it seemed to be all systems go. ‘Brad is being supportive,’ replied Ang. ‘Let’s discuss logistics. Much love Xxx.’
And then? Nothing. Angie went quiet. Maybe the trip went ahead, but more likely not — there is no further mention in the leaked files and Kony is still at large.
Undaunted however, Moreno Ocampo was back emailing Angie the following month. This time, he was asking for advice.
After a sensitive three-year enquiry, he had decided the ICC couldn’t investigate war crimes in the Palestinian territories, but did not know how best to announce his decision. ‘The issue is how to present it to the normal people…’ he emailed her. ‘So if you have any ideas, just let me know.
‘I am attaching the decision I will take. It is confidential. Please don’t share it before Tuesday.’
Angie’s response? ‘I suggest read your statement but consider not opening the floor to questions.’
Sadly, for Moreno Ocampo, this was to be Angie’s last email. She was edging away from his increasingly enthusiastic contact. He couldn’t even tempt her back with proposals for a charity education project… though he kept trying.
‘Dear Angie, I hope you are well. I miss you.’ No answer.
Angie wasn’t the only Hollywood star Ocampo tried — and failed — to recruit. But he made even less headway with actors George Clooney and Sean Penn.
Clooney refused his request for help flying spy satellites over Libya ‘to put pressure on Gaddafi’s generals’. And when Ocampo invited Penn to a New York hotel to discuss a potential investigation into the Palestinian conflict, he received a flip response.
‘While you make the decision on Palestine, I’m embroiled in a decision weather [sic] or not to get a steam in the hotel spa,’ wrote Penn.
Meanwhile, he still wasn’t ready to give up, and when he read reports that Angie was unwell, emailed her assistant in a panic, saying: ‘I realise how much I love her.’ And finally, an answer. From the assistant, though — mortifyingly curt and notifying him that Angie had changed her private email address.
And that was that. Shortly afterwards, his ICC tenure came to an end and he left to pursue other avenues in law, human rights and international conflict. Oh yes, and last year, reportedly approached glamorous humanitarian lawyer Amal Clooney (George’s wife) for help with a case.
Meanwhile, Angie has continued with her tireless humanitarian work.
And, tragically, evil Kony remains at large, unlikely now ever to accept a dinner invitation to Angeline Jolie, however tempted he might be.