Want to save your marriage? Just use WhatsApp to ‘hash it out digitally’, scientists say

Want to save your marriage? Just use Whatsapp, a study has claimed.

Scientists have found the messaging app gives quarrelling husbands and wives ‘another place to fight and make up’.

While this might not sound overly helpful, they said written correspondence gives spouses time to re-read and process their other half’s point.

Emojis also help them express their feelings better, while the app further allows couples to ‘hash it out digitally’ in order to be more relaxed face-to-face later.

Dr Gali Einav of Reichman University in Israel said: ‘Correspondence over WhatsApp not only offers another venue to conduct the relationship, but it can also help save it.’

The study set out to study how Whatsapp has changed the way Generation X – those born between the early 1960s and late 1970s – conduct their relationships.

Researchers conducted interviews with 18 couples, all of whom were aged between 35 and 50 and had been together for over five years.

They looked at the three main types of angry interactions that psychologists believe couples follow in real life – avoidance, emotional, and rational – to see how these played out on the messaging app.

Husbands and wives who were ‘avoidant’ fought in silence and tended to ignore each other’s’ messages. Those who were ‘emotional’ would use Whatsapp to send a constant barrage of messages to let their anger out. And the ‘rationals’ would take the time to re-read the messages to better understand their spouse’s arguments.

The study rested on the principles put forward by Professor John Gottman, a highly influential psychologist and therapist who claimed the ability to deal with conflicts was the foundation of a stable relationship.

Dr Einav said: ‘The bottom line is: fighting or hashing out issues is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. If we better understand our fighting patterns – we can utilise this knowledge to improve our relationships.

‘There is a notion among Generation X that face-to-face communication is superior to digital discourse – but we’ve found this is not necessarily true.

The study set out to study how Whatsapp has changed the way Generation X – those born between the early 1960s and late 1970s – conduct their relationships

‘It actually provides an additional platform to maintain a relationship.

‘We can re-read messages to better understand our spouses, hash out anger digitally, and become more relaxed face to face.

‘We can also send nice emojis to help express our feelings,

The study from Reichman University is published in leading communications journal New Media & Society.

Hiding a secret chocolate stash or from your partner? ‘Guilty’ purchases may actually be GOOD for your relationship 

 

Do you rush to answer the doorbell when the delivery driver arrives so you can hide your latest package from your partner?

New research has shown that making secret purchases, like a stash of expensive chocolates you don’t want to share, can actually strengthen your relationship.

The Indiana University study found that 90 per cent of people haven’t disclosed their recent consumer behaviours to their loved ones, even if they don’t think they would mind.

However, the slight feelings of guilt these secrets bring can drive people to invest more time in their partner.

Co-author Danielle Brick, an assistant marketing professor at the University of Connecticut, said: ‘One of my favourite findings is that partners often keep the same secrets from each other.

‘In one couple, both partners reported secretly eating meat when they were both supposed to be vegetarian.’

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