British model Adwoa Aboah has revealed that she was ‘pushed to rip herself apart’ while receiving treatment for her drug addiction.
The 30-year-old fashion socialite and former front cover star of Vogue from London added that she is ‘lucky’ to be sober and go to treatment as it forced her to confront herself with her addiction issues.
Speaking on the Reign With Josh Smith podcast for World Mental Health Day, she said: ‘I was lucky enough to go to treatment, so I met a mad variety of people there who’d been through all sorts of different things.
Candid: British model Adwoa Aboah has revealed that she was ‘pushed to rip herself apart’ while receiving treatment for her drug addiction
‘It kicks it out of you when you are forced to really confront yourself. I’m actually quite lucky a lot of sober people say that. I think I’m quite lucky that I was pushed to deal with it now.
‘Pushed to pick apart any judgments I had towards other people. Pushed to rip apart myself and put it all back together so that I could look at things a bit differently.
‘Even though it was pretty f***ing s**t, I’m pretty lucky to be quite honest that I’ve been given this chance to do things differently and to look at situations in a more empathetic way actually.’
The model, who is often seen on the front row of major fashion shows, has been open about her problems with drink and drugs – back in 2016 she candidly spoke about her first trying marijuana at the age of 14 after getting drunk at a house party.
From then on, she said she tried cocaine and ketamine, with the latter being the drug which ‘really got’ her.
Using her platform to raise awareness for Mental Health Week, she added: ‘I’ve resigned myself to the fact that life is just so messy and one’s mental health journey couldn’t be further from linear.
‘So the fact is it’s just ebbs and flows and we find ways of dealing with things and then we’re confronted with another thing, whether it be grief or identity or love or sex, it’s endless.
Fashionista: The 30-year-old fashion socialite and former front cover star of Vogue from London added that she is ‘lucky’ to be sober and receive treatment
‘I think because our stories change and evolve and we grow so our perspective on things changes and it’s so mad that you can look at a situation that happened a few years ago and then with some age and wisdom you suddenly reframe it and you’re like, “Okay maybe it was my fault”.
‘Or maybe there are different ways that we can look at things, I think that comes with age definitely. I’ve started really putting into place those boundaries and knowing what’s good for me and what is not good for me.’
The model, who has starred on the cover of Vogue and been named Model of the Year at the British Fashion Awards, also said that sobriety was like a ‘grieving period’ and she experienced great loneliness during that time.
‘I don’t think people talk about it [loneliness] enough when attached to sobriety. Like imagine, you know, it’s almost like a grieving period. You mourn the people you can’t hang out with.
‘The situations you can’t be part of. It’s just endless, you know? There are things that you just in no way can relate to anymore because you are so far from them. Or just mentally and chemically you’re not there. It is a bit lonely sometimes.
Opening up: The model, who is often seen on the front row of major fashion shows, has been open about her problems with drink and drugs
‘But I think when I was younger my loneliness was an isolation. It wasn’t a healthy one. It was one that kept me from asking for help, it was one that kept me low and in the dark and unable to see anything better. Now I am not afraid of being by myself.’
‘I was talking to a friend the day after I went to Glastonbury and it was funny because sobriety for me is easier and harder.
‘It’s easier because it’s like second nature. It’s like I don’t even need to think about it, I know how to have a good time without it, I know who I am without him because I’ve been sober for nearly eight years, but it’s harder because I actually cannot bear the bull:***t.
‘The old me knew how to fake it, I could go into situations and just be like, “yeah, yeah,” and listen to the chat and get on with it. Now I know myself so well. My sister always says she has to overcompensate for my faces, it just says it all.
Reveal: Speaking on the Reign With Josh Smith podcast for World Mental Health Day, she said: ‘I was lucky enough to go to treatment, so I met a mad variety of people there’
‘So in that way it’s got harder because I don’t feel the need to test myself, I know where I feel good, I know where I don’t feel good.
‘So in a sense there’s a new sort of loneliness where I know I used to push myself to be part of things and now I just know that I have an inability to be part of it which is actually fine.’
Back in 2016, when asked how many drugs she was doing, she said in an interview: ‘Just every day.
‘My favourite thing to do was just sit in my room by myself. And what happened if certain people weren’t going out on the Tuesday night, I could very easily find another that were going out that day.
‘Then maybe they were going out on Wednesday, so I would go out with them. ‘I don’t think I necessarily wanted to stop, I just… my parents sent me to Arizona [for rehab].
‘The people that I grew up with, they took a lot of drugs, so it wasn’t necessarily unheard of, it was normal, so I got away with it for a long time.’ On it affecting her modelling, she said it affected how she viewed her self-image.
‘Losing out on jobs and being judged on your appearance – I definitely got a second skin and got used to it, but moreso now I realised that it definitely didn’t [help]. It definitely contributed to the way I feel about things about myself.
‘I don’t know if [getting scouted] was a booster, I definitely don’t feel like it made me feel any better about myself by being in a magazine.’
Chat: The model, who has starred on the cover of Vogue and been named Model of the Year at the British Fashion Awards, also said that sobriety was like a ‘grieving period’
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