As any host or guest will tell you, negotiating your way through the perils of dinner party etiquette can be a nightmare.
But according to an expert on manners, the best way to please a host is to leave by 10.30pm on a week night and 11.15pm at the weekend.
Writing in The Lady magazine, Thomas Blaikie said ‘the best leaving occurs naturally’ and urged readers to refuse an offer of an after-dinner drink.
Drinking hard spirits such as brandy means guests are unlikely to leave until the early hours, if at all, Mr Blaikie wrote in his column Modern Manners.
It is also awkward to ask a host to put the kettle on after they have spent the evening slaving away in the kitchen, he said.
Mr Blaikie’s column is a regular feature in the long-running woman’s magazine. His advice on dinner etiquette was included in the latest issue in response to a reader’s letter.
The best time to leave a dinner party during the week is 10.30pm and on the weekend 11.15pm, says The Lady writer Thomas Blaikie. File image used
He wrote: ‘Left to their own devices, guests can reach a point beyond which they’ve lost the will and the energy to leave, having previously perhaps been wishing to leave but feeling it was too early and all their energy went into that agony, so there is none left with the time to leave has long passed.
‘Especially if the hosts, rather hoping that the guests will leave, offer them more and more, such as a hard drink like brandy, diminishing almost to vanishing point any hope of departure.’
Mr Blaikie, who has written books on manners, also said it is ‘not in any way rude’ to serve tea and coffee at the dinner table because the living room will usually be strewn with mess from pre-dinner drinks.
However he described after-dinner drinks as ‘just about the last straw’ at his own dinner parties.
He said: ‘Having pushed out three courses for eight people, I’ve not an ounce of strength left to get the kettle on.’
The Lady was founded in 1885 and is Britain’s longest-running weekly magazine.
Mr Blaikie is author of Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners. He is also an English teacher.
Mr Blaikie (pictured) urged readers not to accept after dinner drinks or ask a host to put the kettle on for a hot beverage after slaving away in the kitchen