What your taste in men says about you

A TikTok psychologist has given her run down of what your taste in men or women could tell you about yourself.

Francesca Tighinean recently completed her psychology bachelors at City University in London and has since successfully modelled herself as a life coach.

The London-based graduate has gained a huge following from sharing her relationship tips on TikTok, covering a range of topics from how to attract a partner to how to convey confidence through body language.

In a series of videos she explains what attraction to certain people, such as older and younger prospective partners, ‘bad boys’ and those who are ’emotionally unavailable’, might say about your character. 

Being attracted to older or younger people

If you usually go for older people, Francesca explains that the reason behind this might be rooted in your childhood. 

‘Being attracted to older people can signify that you’re looking for a “parent” to take care of you because you’ve got unsatisfied needs of love and validation from your childhood,’ she explained. 

Meanwhile, for those who typically go for romantic partners who are younger than themselves, Francesca suggests this could be to do with you taking a parental role during your childhood.

‘It could be because as a child you were the caretaker and you had to take care of your siblings or even parents, and this makes you feel needed,’ she said.

Francesca Tighinean explains the possible reason behind why you might be attracted to older people in one of her TikToks

Going for emotionally unavailable people 

‘If you’re attracted to people that are unavailable because they are in a relationship or they’re abroad it could mean that YOU have commitment issues because with these kind of people you don’t have to fully commit.’

She adds in another clip that going for people who don’t feel the same way about you could suggest low self-esteem.

‘If you’re attracted to people who don’t like you back, it could be because unconsciously you have this belief that you need to fight for love and you don’t just deserve it,’ she said.

Jealous or over-protective people

‘If you’re attracted to overly protective or overly-jealous people it could be because you have unmet childhood needs of being taken care of and protected,’ Francesca explained. 

She added that you might be ‘looking for an extreme version of that so you really feel like someone is taking care of you and protecting you’.

‘If you’re attracted to overly protective or overly-jealous people,’ Francesca says, ‘it could be because you have unmet childhood needs of being taken care of and protected’

‘Bad boys’ or ‘bad girls’

Francesca says people whose type is a little rough around the edges, can often be ‘too good’ themselves. 

‘You’re repressing your negative qualities like aggression or arrogance,’ she suggests.

‘So you’re unconsciously looking for someone to help liberate that repression.’

People less ‘attractive’ than yourself 

The psychology grad also had advice for people who go for people who are less conventionally ‘attractive’ than themselves.

She explained that this ‘could be because you’re afraid of abandonment, so you chose someone that’s lower in mate value than you are so they’re less likely to abandon you and will treat you better.’

As might be expected, mate value refers to someone’s perceived ‘desireability’ in terms of reproductive success and attractiveness, for example.

The psychology grad also had advice for people who go for people who are less conventionally ‘attractive’ than themselves

Toxic partners

In the final instalment of the advice videos, Francesca says that those who are attracted to ‘toxic people’ could ‘unconsciously… actually enjoy the drama’.

‘The chaos feels familiar because you might have experienced that in your childhood and you might even find normal relationships boring,’ she suggested. 

Fictional characters 

If your main crush is a character on TV or in a book, it’s a protective mechanism. 

‘If you’re attracted to fictional characters, it could be because you idealise love and you put it on a pedestal,’ Francesca explains.

‘This is a child’s thinking that lives in their imagination instead of doing the real thing so they don’t get hurt.

‘But this way of thinking is toxic to yourself because love is not ideal and it has ugly sides to it and that is normal.’ 

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