A woman looking for love has revealed her confusion after realising a man she has been dating hadn’t asked her any questions in three days.
The British woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to explain she went on a first date with the 38-year old man last week – however while he’s been away on holidays with his son he hasn’t been asking her many questions about herself.
She asked whether people think that he’s ‘just wrapped up in the holiday or if he’s ‘genuinely not bothered.’
Views were mixed with some people claiming he sounds ‘self-involved’ while others claim he is just ‘on holiday mode.’
The woman wrote: ‘I can’t seem to see whether I have ridiculously high standards or if this is weird.
A woman revealed on Mumsnet that a man she is dating hasn’t asked her a question about herself in three days
‘First date with a guy, 38, last week. It went really well, I’ve been on a good few dates now and it was the best by far.
‘Anyway he is now on holiday skiing with his 16 year old son. Very sweet. We obviously now are just whatsapping, he’s back next week.
‘BUT HE ASKS NO QUESTIONS AT ALL. His messages have become an onslaught of what he has done in the day, updates on how his son is finding it, photos of the slopes.
‘It’s been 3 days and I’ve scrolled back through the messages and he hasn’t even asked the simplest ‘How are you?/how was work?’
‘It’s all rather odd. My job is one of those that is definitely interesting, everyone has an opinion on it, and yesterday in particular was a pretty high octane day.
‘I’m not sure if he’s just wrapped up in the holiday or genuinely not bothered.
‘I don’t think he was like this face to face but there were definitely a few ‘eleven-a-reef’ moments. But I genuinely like him, this aside. Help!’
Some people claimed the man sounded a bit ‘self involved’ and ‘self-absorbed’.
One person wrote: ‘Yes sounds self-absorbed. Very unattractive – what a shame!’
While another said: ‘It sounds like he’s the type that’s 100 per cent self involved to be honest.
The British woman took to parenting forum to explain she went on a first date with the 38-year old man last week however while he’s away on holidays with his son he isn’t asking her many questions about herself
‘He’s not asking how you are or how your day has been because he doesn’t care how things are with you, he only cares about how impressed and interested you are in what he’s been doing.
‘I’d actually go so far as to predict what your next ‘date’ would be like ?
‘It’ll be him regaling you with exactly what he did while on holiday, how amazballs his kid is, and how hectic work has been, because no-one else can do his big important job, so his work just piles up !
‘Throw this one back if you want a relationship with someone who actually cares for and considers you as much as you do for them.’
While a third wrote: ‘He talks AT people not TO/WITH them. You could be any earhole.
‘No self awareness. Totally wrapped up himself. Utterly self absorbed. He has one specialist subject: HIMSELF. Don’t waste your time.’
Some people claimed the man sounded a bit ‘self involved’ and ‘self-absorbed’, saying it is an unattractive trait
However others thought because he is on holiday with his son he’s probably just ‘checked out’ for a few days and to give him a break.
One person wrote: ‘He’s ‘checked out’ for a few days. Gone on holidays. You should be getting on with your life and not be that invested in someone you’ve only met once.
Another said: ‘I’d give him a pass cause he’s on holiday. But even on holiday i would think to ask my bf how they are doing/what they are up to . Might not ask every day but at least once.
‘My ex was similar, never asked me any questions. Made me feel that he wasn’t interested in my life at all.
‘I always had to just tell him everything when there were times I just wanted him to be interested/care enough about me to ask without me bringing up. I ended up making me feel lonely and not important.’
However others thought because he is on holiday with his son he’s probably just ‘checked out’ for a few days and said she should give him a break
While someone else said: ‘No one is perfect OP, it might show him in a bad light but he is on holiday with his son and I presume that’s his focus.
‘I find overwhelmingly people are mostly interested in themselves and if I excluded all those people from my life I would have few people in it. You say you like him, have a chat when he gets back and see what he says.’
While others questioned why she was concerned at all as they had only been on one date so she shouldn’t be expecting much from him.
One person wrote: ‘Hang on a min!!! You have had ONE date with him and he then went on holiday with his son and it’s been a week!!!
‘What are you expecting OP? I don’t think I would be even contemplating WhatsApping a guy after one date! Never mind every day.
‘You don’t know each other at all for that kind of communication, it should have been ‘see you when you get back, let me know when and we can do something, have a great time.’
Another wrote: ‘Completely agree. After one date you shouldn’t be analysing the hell out of things, getting advice from strangers, trying to test someone or modify their behaviour or thinking you understand them.
‘Just take it easy. Breathe. Relax. Whatever has happened in the past to make you think you need to identify flaws and create issues?
Meanwhile others questioned why she was concerned at all as they had only been on one date so she shouldn’t be expecting much from him
‘Yes i do think you’ve gone from observing a tendency to creating an issue all cheered on by strangers able to telepathically predict his entire future behaviour from a summary of some texts. Relax.’
While someone else said: ‘Can I also add that I think it’s a really great sign that even though he’s away on a trip with his son, he is keeping frequent contact?
‘He obviously likes you and wants to keep in touch…as opposed to so many others we hear about who drops contact after a date for whatever reason.
‘I’d give this one a chance. He seems like he could be nice and no one is perfect. It’s kind of weird to nitpick this one point unless it’s clear that it’s a regular occurrence where he takes no interest in you.’
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