For generations, British schoolchildren have devoured books by authors such as Roald Dahl and Enid Blyton, hooked on their carefully-crafted tales of adventure and discovery.
However, time hasn’t been kind to some of children’s literary greats and while the plots are largely as thrilling as ever, some of the wording that features within them has been deemed ‘horrific’ and ‘offensive’ by some.
This week, it was revealed that UK publisher Puffin has hired sensitivity readers to rewrite chunks of Roald Dahl’s text to ensure the books ‘can continue to be enjoyed by all today’, resulting in extensive changes across his works.
Considerable edits have been made to descriptions of the characters’ physical appearances – the new editions no longer use the word ‘fat’, which has been cut from every book, and the Oompa Loompas in one of his most famous books, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, are now gender neutral.
Could you recognise some of children’s literatures most famous storylines if the language was given a woke makeover?
Here, Femail, re-imagines how key passages might read if being inoffensive reigned supreme…scroll down to find out which author’s work they’re based on…
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SO, COULD YOU IDENTIFY WHICH PASSAGES HAD BEEN GIVEN A WOKE MAKEOVER?
1). The Gruffalo, by Julia Donaldson
But who is this creature with terrible claws And terrible teeth in his terrible jaws? He has knobbly knees, and turned-out toes, and a poisonous wart at the end of his nose. His eyes are orange, his tongue is black, He has purple prickles all over his back. “Oh help! Oh no! It’s a gruffalo!”
Right: Enid Blyton’s fantastical tale of how a group of children discover a soaring magical tree was first published in 1943, at the height of the Second World War
2). The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton
“Hi! hie!” yelled Jo to the driver. “I want to drive your train!” “Come along up, then,” said the driver, jumping down. “The engine is just ready to go!” Jo jumped up into the cab of the engine. A bright fire was burning there. He looked at all the shining handles and wheels. Dick looked up longingly. “Jo! Could I come too?” he begged. “Do let me. Just to watch you.”
“All right,” said Jo. So Dick hopped up on to the engine. The girls, Moon-Face and Silky got into a carriage just behind. The guard ran up the platform waving a green flag and blowing his whistle. “The signal’s down!” yelled Dick. “Go on, Jo! Start her up!”
Jo twisted the starting wheel. The engine began to chuff-chuff-chuff and moved out of the station. The girls gave a squeal of delight. “Jo’s really driving the train!” cried Bessie. “Oh isn’t he clever! He’s wanted to drive an engine all his life!”
3). The Twits by Roald Dahl, a character description of Mrs Twit
Roald Dahl’s story of two warring spouses has cause amusement galore for young readers – but the graphic descriptions freely use the word ‘ugly’
Mrs Twit was no better than her husband. She did not, of course, have a hairy face. It was a pity she didn’t because that at any rate would have hidden some of her fearful ugliness. Take a look at her.
Have you ever seen a woman with an uglier face than that? I doubt it. But the funny thing is that Mrs Twit wasn’t born ugly.
She’d had quite a nice face when she was young. The ugliness had grown upon her year by year as she got older. Why would that happen? I’ll tell you why. If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.
4). Beatrix Potter: The Tale of Peter Rabbit, part 2
Anything but fat…Beatrix Potter’s description of Peter Rabbit as a ‘fat little rabbit’ might spark offence with woke audiences (Pictured: a still from the 2018 film)
After a time he began to wander about, going lippity – lippity – not very fast, and looking all round. He found a door in a wall; but it was locked, and there was no room for a fat little rabbit to squeeze underneath.
5). Enid Blyton: First Term at Malory Towers
The two French teachers in The First Term at Mallory Towers receive a less than flattering description from Enid Blyton
“That’s Mam’zelle Dupont,” whispered Alicia. “We’ve got two French mistresses at Malory Towers. One’s fat and jolly and the other’s thin and sour. We’ve got the fat and jolly one this term. They’ve both got simply awful tempers, so I hope you’re pretty good at French.”
6). Enid Blyton: Famous Five on Treasure Island
George: ‘Don’t you hate being a girl?’
Anne: ‘No, of course not. You see – I like pretty frocks – and I love my dolls – and you can’t do that if you’re a boy.’
George: ‘Pooh! Fancy bothering about pretty frocks. And dolls! Well, you are a baby, that’s all I can say.
7). Sue Townsend: The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾
Beloved by millions of angst-ridden teens, Adrian Mole, by Sue Townsend, was turned into a TV series on the back of its success
‘Pandora has got hair the colour of treacle, and it’s long like girls’ hair should be. She has quite a good figure. I saw her playing netball and her chest was wobbling. I felt a bit funny. I think this is it!’
8). Roger Hargreaves: Little Miss Scatterbrain
Roger Hargreaves penned 92 books in the Little Miss and Mister Men series
“Good morning, Miss Scatterbrain,” smiled the bank manager. ‘What can I do for you?”
Little Miss Scatterbrain looked at him.
“I’d like some…”
‘Money?’ suggested the bank manager.
“Sausages!” replied Miss Scatterbrain.
“Sausages?” exclaimed the manager. “But this isn’t the butcher’s. This is the bank!”
“Oh silly me”, laughed Little Miss Scatterbrain.
9). Kenneth Grahame: Wind in the Willows
Kenneth Graeme’s masterpiece has wooed generations of children…but a few phrases in the book might irk sensitivity editors
“How can I hope to be ever set at large again” (he said), “who have been imprisoned so justly for stealing so handsome a motor-car in such an audacious manner, and for such lurid and imaginative cheek, bestowed upon such a number of fat, red-faced policemen!” (Here his sobs choked him.)
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