A Spanish mother who lives in the US has lifted the lid on the parenting differences between the two countries, saying Americans are more child-focused and socialize less.
Ana Gildersleeve was born and raised in Valencia, Spain, but now lives in Kansas with her American husband, who is a college football coach. The couple, who fell in love while she was studying abroad in the US, previously resided in New York and Ohio.
The mother of two is documenting her life and the cultural differences between Spain and the US on TikTok, where her @_anagildersleeve account has more than 215,000 followers.
Gildersleeve recently went viral after opening up about her experience living abroad with children, saying, ‘I think being a parent in the US is way more boring and isolating than in Spain.’
Ana Gildersleeve, who grew up in Spain and and is now living in the US, went viral after sharing the parenting differences between the the two countries
Gildersleeve was born and raised in Valencia, Spain, but now lives in Kansas with her American husband, who is a college football coach
The mother of two is documenting her life and the cultural differences between Spain and the US on TikTok, where her @_anagildersleeve account has more than 215,000 followers
‘I think being a parent in the US is way more boring and isolating than in Spain,’ she said
She explained that she was inspired to share her thoughts on the topic after speaking to an American mother who thought she was ‘depressed’ but realized she was ‘just in the wrong country’ after she moved abroad.
Gildersleeve believes part of the issue is the lack of socialization and support in the US, saying Americans — especially parents — ‘don’t do anything fun during the week after work.’
‘Monday through Friday, most Americans do not socialize with other people. They go straight home after work or, if you are a parent, after your kids’ activities,’ she said. ‘In general, Americans save social events for the weekends. They spend a lot of time in the house.
‘Where in Spain, we are out all the time — Monday through Friday, Saturday and Sunday. When the kids are done with school, you go to the closest playground to the school and socialize with other parents.’
Gildersleeve shared that many playgrounds in Spain have attached bars or coffee shops, saying ‘it’s super normal to have a glass of wine or a beer with other parents while the kids play in the playground.’
‘That’s like unthinkable in the US,’ she noted.
Gildersleeve noted that American parents don’t really socialize with other people during the week, saying they tend to come home right after work
‘Where in Spain, we are out all the time – Monday through Friday, Saturday and Sunday,’ she told viewers
Another difference she has noticed is how long it takes to schedule a playdate in the US, which needs to be done weeks, or sometimes even months, in advance.
In Spain, she would just call a mom friend up and ask if she wanted to meet up at a park with their kids in 20 minutes.
‘I feel like most Americans don’t have a village at all,’ she said. ‘Moving around the country is just pretty normal here, but in Spain most people live close to their families.’
The mom also pointed out that American parents revolve their lives around their children, whereas the reverse is true in Spain.
‘America parents stop doing what they are doing — even though they are having fun — because they need to put their kids to bed at 7 p.m.,’ she said. ‘If you see a kid that’s still awake past 8 p.m., it’s like, “You’re a bad mom.”‘
Gildersleeve shared that many playgrounds in Spain have attached bars or coffee shops
‘It’s super normal to have a glass of wine or a beer with other parents while the kids play in the playground,’ she said of being a parent in Spain
Another difference she has noticed is how long it takes to schedule a playdate in the US, which needs to be done weeks, or sometimes even months, in advance
In comparison, Gildersleeve explained that Spanish parents will bring their children everywhere with them and let them fall asleep in their strollers.
‘In the US we separate children’s activities [from] adult activities. Parents organize their lives around the children’s schedule,’ she told viewers, ‘but in Spain, children adapt to the adults’ schedule.’
Gildersleeve’s final observation was that women tend to stop hanging out with their girlfriends after they have children.
‘I feel like in the US, when women become moms, they stop having fun,’ she said. ‘Like, yes, your priorities have changed, but one thing doesn’t take the [place of the] other. You can to go a bar or a club and get a couple drinks with your best friends, and still be a good mom.’
Gildersleeve’s video has been viewed more than 2.2 million times and has received over 7,500 comments. Many people, including Americans, agreed with her assessment.
The mom explained that ‘parents organize their lives around the children’s schedule’ in the US, whereas ‘children adapt to the adults’ schedule’ in Spain
Gildersleeve’s video has been viewed more than 2.2 million times, and many people, including Americans, agreed with her assessment
‘Couldn’t agree more! I lived in Spain for a year and I loved that we did things during the week! I hate living for the weekend,’ one person wrote.
‘America is isolating in general. I don’t have kids and spend most of my time alone. It’s so sad,’ someone else shared.
Another added, ‘I agree with your perspective and I’m born/raised in the U.S. Spain sounds fun for parents!’
A number of people pointed out that Americans tend to be overworked and stressed, which is why they often live for the weekends.
‘I think it’s because ppl in Western Europe don’t have to overwork like ppl in the US. Many ppl are stressed out & tired here,’ one viewer deduced, and Gildersleeve agreed.
‘Most people work crazy hours and are drained after work,’ she responded. ‘It’s sad to be honest.’
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