Some say life begins at 30, but for Hayden Panettiere the milestone was an opportunity for the actress to reclaim her sense of self after descending into opioid and alcohol dependency during her twenties.
The American star, now 33, has embarked on a fresh chapter with the aid of the 12-step programme, an abstinence based philosophy though which she overcame an alcohol dependency that began while working on hit US musical drama Nashville in 2012.
Arguably worse, Panettiere had turned to highly addictive prescription painkillers following the birth of daughter Kaya in 2014 – her only child with former partner Wladimir Klitschko – after suffering the potentially debilitating symptoms of postpartum depression.
‘I was being told how to be and how to live by so many people in my life,’ she told the May edition of Women’s Health UK of the catalyst for her alcohol abuse, which escalated after she relocated from her native Los Angeles to Tennessee.
‘I wanted certain decisions to be my own, and nobody could stop me. What I put in my body was like an act of defiance.’
Opening up: Hayden Panettiere has reflected on her use of alcohol and opioids in a new interview with Women’s Health UK
Moving on: The American star, now 33, has embarked on a fresh chapter after a successful spell in residential rehabilitation
Let’s talk: ‘I was being told how to be and how to live by so many people in my life,’ she said of the catalyst for her alcohol abuse
Panettiere, who also features as the latest Women’s Health cover star, added: ‘Some people work out. I wish that was my coping mechanism. Alcohol might make you feel better in that moment, but it makes you feel so much worse the next day, and then you do it all over again.’
The actress turned to the bottle to help deal with postpartum depression and she described the experience as being characterized with feelings of ‘extreme hopelessness.’
Her low mood was compounded by the recurring effects of a former neck injury that led her to also use opioids.
‘I was in a lot of pain,’ she recalled. ‘My tolerance got so high so fast that it became a problem.’
Speaking openly about that time in her life, the mother-of-one admitted, ‘I should have gone on antidepressants [to cope with the postpartum depression], but you have to find the right one that works for you.’
‘They don’t mix well with alcohol, and I wasn’t ready to stop drinking.’
Painful: Panettiere turned to the bottle to help deal with postpartum depression and she described the experience as being characterized with feelings of ‘extreme hopelessness’
Crutch: The depression was compounded with recurring effects of a former neck injury that led her to also use opioids
Read all about it: The full Hayden Panettiere interview is available in the May issue of Women’s Health UK, on sale from 18th April, also available as a digital edition
When she entered rehab in 2015 she said it was her idea: ‘I was the one who put myself in the first treatment center. I was drowning.’
Upon turning 30, the household name found herself in another 12-step program, where participants are encouraged to embrace a life of complete abstinence from all mind altering substances, including alcohol.
‘My body was like, “enough,”‘ she explained. ‘I hit 30. My face was swollen. I had jaundice. My eyes were yellow. I had to go to a liver specialist. I was holding on to weight that wasn’t normally there. My hair was thin and coming out in clumps.’
Eight months of working on herself paid off and she was finally ready to return to work after a four-year hiatus.
‘A big part of my therapy has been living in forgiveness,’ she noted. ‘A step in the 12-step program is making amends. If somebody wants to be a good person and to be the best version of themselves, they can choose to do that.’
Eight months of working on herself paid off and she was finally ready to return to work after a four-year hiatus.
Old times: Panettiere took a starring role in Nashville (pictured), but she says her problems began when she relocated from Los Angeles to Tennessee while filming the show
Struggles: The actress looks worse for wear during a night out in Los Angeles in 2018
But Panettiere’s return to the screen has been overshadowed by the death of 28-year old brother Jansen in New York City on February 19.
The actor died of aortic valve complications stemming from an enlarged heart, but despite her grief the actress has remained committed to recovery.
‘A big part of my therapy has been living in forgiveness,’ she noted. ‘A step in the 12-step program is making amends.
‘If somebody wants to be a good person and to be the best version of themselves, they can choose to do that.’
Read the full Hayden Panettiere interview in the May issue of Women’s Health UK, on sale from 18th April, also available as a digital edition.
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