An M People star has revealed he was driven to suicide after discovering the woman who adopted him was his biological mother.
Andrew Lovell, 52, found fame as a drummer in the hugely successful group in the 1990s.
But while his musical career reached platinum-selling heights, the stresses of his family life would lead him to contemplating ‘ending it all’.
Lovell, who had the nickname ‘Shovell’ during his days in M People, was adopted by Andrew and Joyce Lovell as a baby and grew up in south east London, during the 1960s.
Andrew Lovell, 52, found fame as drummer in the hugely successful group in the 1990s. Pictured, with adoptive father Andrew and biological mother Joyce Lovell
He was always aware that he was adopted, but it was not until in 1998, when he wanted to talk to his own children about his heritage, that he found the courage to ask his parents about his past.
The drummer admitted that nothing could prepare him for what he would find out.
He told the Mirror: ‘My dad said, ‘We’d have gone to the grave with this but you asked. Your mum here, Joyce, is your mum’. My head exploded. I was like ‘wh-at?’ It was a sledgehammer.
‘My mum didn’t say a word. She wouldn’t look at me.’
Lovell described the revelation as an ‘incredible tsunami of emotion’ and found it overwhelming, plunging him to ‘some very dark places’.
He reached rock bottom two years later, when he collapsed from stress.
The musician said: ‘January 2000 I was in the recording studio and I ended up shaking and crying, proper wailing. I had PTSD. I got drove to see mum and dad.’
Andrew Lovell, with his family as a child, grew up in south London during the 1960s
It was after this meeting that his parents revealed his mother had an affair with colleague from while working at the Peek Frean biscuit factory in Bermondsey in the 60s.
However, despite his initial feelings of betrayal – Lovell does not blame his mother.
He said: ‘My mum fought for me. She loved me without question. It wasn’t even 100% that she would get me back. And my dad had to stand up and say he would take this new child on.’
His story will be revealed in The Secrets in My Family, tonight at 9pm on UKTV’s W Channel.