World-renowned relationship experts reveal how important sex really is in a healthy marriage

World-renowned relationship experts have revealed how important sex really is in a marriage – and how often couples should be getting intimate.

US-based psychologists and longtime couple Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman have spent over four decades ‘devoting their lives to the research and practice of fostering healthy, long-lasting relationships,’ per their website.

They recently sat down on Paul C. Brunson’s podcast We Need to Talk to share some of the key characteristics to a happy and healthy romance.

And according to the love gurus, frequent love-making is less vital to a strong relationship than one might think.

‘The first study done on marriage in 1938 by Lewis Terman [found] that there was no relationship between the frequency of couples having sex and how happily married they were,’ John dished.

Lewis, a Stanford University psychologist, surveyed 800 married couples about 400 different relationship characteristics and ‘found little or no relationship between the frequency of sexual intercourse and marital satisfaction,’ the New York Times previously reported.

John said there’s a ‘huge variability in how often people have sex’ across happy marriages, and that there’s ‘no proper’ amount of times you should be getting intimate in a week. 

The award-winning doctor claimed that having good sex with your partner comes down to how strong your romance is, more than what actually happens in the bedroom.

‘People who have a great sex life say I love you every day and mean it, they kiss each other passionately for no reason at all,’ he continued.

‘They give compliments and surprise gifts, they cuddle a lot, they’re affectionate even in public, and they have romantic dates and romantic vacations.’

Julie added that it’s more important to build ‘a sense of safety and emotional connection’ with your partner than to focus on lust, and once those are in place, great sex will happen naturally.

As for their ‘keys’ to a long-lasting marriage, Julie said it’s vital to have a ‘positive perspective’ about your partner and to give them the ‘benefit of the doubt’ if something goes wrong.

She also said happy couples should learn to ‘manage conflict’ together, ‘honor each other’s dreams,’ and constantly compliment one another.

US-based psychologists Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman sat down on Paul C. Brunson’s podcast We Need to Talk to share some of the key characteristics to a happy and healthy romance

And according to the love gurus, frequent love-making is less vital to a strong relationship than one might think 

John said there’s a ‘huge variability in how often people have sex’ across happy marriages, and that there’s ‘no proper’ amount of times you should be getting intimate in a week (stock image)

‘Admiration is really important. And it can’t be something you just think but never say and never express, it needs to be something that you say all the time,’ she dished.

‘Say what you love about your partner, what you respect about your partner – that’s super important.’

John added that ‘trust and commitment’ are the ‘foundations’ of all romances.

‘Both people have to think for two, you have to really think of what’s going to benefit both of you,’ he stated. 

‘Even when Julie isn’t with me, she’s with me and I’m thinking about her. Decisions I make and things I do, I know she’s she’s got my back.’