If you are anything like me, you would have pored over the photos of Queen Mary at Balmoral Beach last week, searching for the familiar and oh-so-relatable signs of a scorned wife – self-pity, sadness, shame.
After all, the pictures were taken almost a year to the day since her ‘Romeo’ husband King Frederik was caught enjoying a cosy night out in Madrid with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova – throwing the Danish royal family into crisis and prompting feverish speculation in the press about the state of the couple’s marriage.
And yet I spied none of the tell-tale signs of heartbreak as Mary frolicked at the beach with her girlfriends. All I saw was a 52-year-old woman who looked bloody sensational: sporty, fit, toned and laughing uproariously.
The girl from Tassie seemed genuinely happy to be back on sunny Australian soil – and we were only too pleased to have her home.
It’s a lesson to us all, ladies: forget revenge being a dish best served cold. Revenge is a dish best served in a sophisticated, flattering swimsuit, looking the best you’ve ever looked, basking on one of our best beaches, under our peerless blue skies.
If you’ve got to Mary’s age and haven’t experienced some form of cheating, deceit, hurt or disappointment courtesy of your husband – whether it be an affair, a one-night stand, emotional cheating or, in Fred’s case, in all-advised late-night stroll with a socialite that resulted in a tabloid frenzy – then your marriage is doing pretty well.
Marriage is hard work, and I salute those that stick at it. It’s not for me, but that’s a topic for another day.
It’s been 12 months since Fred and Genoveva were snapped walking around Buen Retiro Park. The rumour mill exploded: was this Mexican temptress Fred’s secret lover? Fred, Genoveva and the palace denied it – and I’m not suggesting any affair took place. But what I am fairly sure of – call it women’s intuition – is that seeing those photos of the King with a gorgeous divorcee like Genoveva would have shook the loyal, dutiful Queen to the core.
Queen Mary of Denmark flaunted her svelte physique at Sydney’s Balmoral Beach last Thursday during an unannounced return to her home country
The world gasped, especially us Aussies. How could Fred, a man who has spent his entire life in the spotlight, have been so careless? He must have known how his friendship with Genoveva would have looked. Meanwhile, we were all assuming the worst, waiting with bated breath on what our beloved Mary would do next.
Part of me expected to see her tearfully arrive at Sydney Airport the next day, welcomed by the open arms of her fellow countrymen and women.
But Mary had other plans.
She wasn’t going anywhere. Mary did what millions of wives around the world do after being embarrassed by their husbands: she stayed.
Strong women don’t play the victim. They rarely indulge in self-pity. They hold their heads up, they keep calm (in public anyway) and carry on.
They may cry to their friends and sob in the shower. They may throw vases, scream and yell behind closed doors.
But they stay. Just like Queen Mary.
Stoic. Strong. Fierce.
Queen Mary reminds me of Princess Diana when Charles admitted to his affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles. She picked herself up, dusted herself off and stunned the world in that ‘revenge dress’ – a low-cut black evening gown by Christina Stambolian – while attending a Vanity Fair fundraiser at the Serpentine Gallery in London. She showed the world she was a survivor, and she wasn’t going to let her husband’s adultery bring her down.
Queen Mary’s flattering rose-pink Copenhagen Cartel one-piece reminds me of Princess Diana in her ‘revenge dress’ (pictured) after Charles admitted to his affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles
Don’t get me wrong – the situations are not identical here. Charles admitted to his affair; Frederik has made it clear there was nothing untoward going on. But when I saw Mary in her flattering rose-pink Copenhagen Cartel one-piece (which costs $247, by the way), all I could think was: this is Mary’s revenge swimsuit.
Then I had another thought: If anyone wears the pants in the Danish royal palace from now on, it’s our Mary.
Remember those royal engagements that followed Fred and Genoveva’s tabloid scandal? The icy looks, the stilted body language – all signs women recognise: I am with you, but not the way we used to be. I have forgiven you, but I won’t forget.
Fred knows he has some work to do, and he won’t want to lose Mary.
Remember those royal engagements that followed Fred and Genoveva’s tabloid scandal? The icy looks, the stilted body language – all signs women recognise: I am with you, but not the way we used to be. I have forgiven you, but I won’t forget
Queen Mary’s visit to Australia comes 12 months after rumours exploded about her husband King Frederik, 56, having an ‘affair’ with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova (right)
I can’t know for sure if the royal couple has moved past the embarrassment of Fred’s unwise friendship with Genoveva. Those of us who have been through marital crises will know that once that initial trust has been broken, it is rarely the same again.
But in my experience, one thing is crystal clear: wives rarely leave in situations like this. If anything, the husband’s mistake – whether it be a moment of poor judgement like in Fred’s case or a full-blown extramarital affair – only makes them stronger.
Which is why what I’m about to say isn’t directed at wives, but the ‘other woman’: If you find yourself entangled with a married man, just remember – he’s never going to walk out on his marriage, and she will never leave him. She may punish him forever, but she will stay – even if it is just to spite you, to show she’s ‘won’.
And if you’re the wife in this situation, chances are you’ve already decided to give him another chance… but my advice? Pack your bags now.
The old adage is true, once a cheater, most likely always a cheater. Fred’s ‘affair’ scandal may have been a false alarm, but other men caught red-handed don’t change their ways.
You may have ‘won’ by preserving your marriage, but what exactly have you won? A cheater who doesn’t respect you. It’s hardly winning the lottery is it?
And believe me, I’ve seen it enough times. Men wait until the coast is clear before they’re back to their old ways. They just can’t help themselves. Many don’t want to deal with the underlying reasons behind their deceit; whether it’s addiction, trauma, sadness or stress. Quick fixes like affairs don’t work.
I’ve seen too many strong, beautiful, successful and smart women give their lives and freedom away to low-level men that don’t value them and chase anything in a skirt once their backs are turned. It saddens me tremendously.
Mary, it’s good to see you looking so happy in Australia without your husband by your side. It’s great to know you’re getting on with your life – and I hope he will be more prudent with his friendships in the future.
I tip my hat to you for sticking to your marriage. If it had been my husband in those Madrid photos, regardless of the innocent explanation, I don’t think I could stay.
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