I knew my ex-wife was evil but nothing could’ve prepared me for her final barbaric act. After a devastating crime destroyed his entire world, James McLeod says: The police have blood on their hands

It was Christmas at my mum’s house and the kids were playing with their presents. 

My youngest, four-month-old Wyatt, was having his nails trimmed by my sister-in-law.

‘Who does she think she is?’ my wife Charmaine elbowed me.

I looked at her, perplexed. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked. 

‘I didn’t ask her to cut his nails,’ Charmaine snorted. ‘I’m not spending Christmas here.’

Charmaine couldn’t stand my sister-in-law, the wife of my brother Brendan. In the past, she’d used this to create distance between me and my sibling. 

‘C’mon, love. It’s Christmas. Think of the kids,’ I pleaded.

‘I’m calling my dad. I’m spending Christmas at his,’ she snapped.

‘Charmaine was always strong-headed, and I liked that. But she could also be very controlling,’ James McLeod writes

Our children, Aaleyn, two, Matilda, one, and little Wyatt, would have to spend Christmas without their mother because she’d thrown a tantrum.

‘What kind of mother doesn’t want to be with her kids at Christmas?’ I thought.

The truth is, Charmaine was always hard work. We’d met 12 years earlier and had been friends for a while before getting involved.

Charmaine was always strong-headed, and I liked that. But she could also be very controlling.

I put some of her issues down to her past – the was troubled and confided in me that she’d been abused as a child and raped twice as an adult.  

‘The police did nothing,’ she’d sobbed when she told me.  

After what she’d been through, I wasn’t surprised to learn she’d been diagnosed with depression, eating disorders and borderline personality disorder.

Her poor mental health put a strain on our relationship and Charmaine could certainly be volatile.

One time we’d visited my mum, done some shopping and gone to the beach.

We’d had such a great day, I was feeling really happy.  

James McLeod with his four children. ‘I absolutely adored being a dad,’ he writes

James with (from left to right) Aaleyn, Wyatt, Zaidok and Matilda

‘I just want you to know you’re a beautiful person Charmaine and I had a really nice day with you,’ I said on the bus going home.

‘Go sit somewhere else,’ she snapped coldly.

Unfortunately, Charmaine sometimes skipped medication or she took too much and overdosed accidently, often deliberately too.

That was usually when she didn’t get her own way with me, friends, family nurses and doctors. She was frequently admitted to psychiatric wards.

Despite all of this, I loved her and wanted us to start a family. We married in 2008 and the children soon followed. 

After Wyatt, we had our last child, Zaidok.  

By then I’d quit my warehouse job to care for Charmaine and the kids.

I absolutely adored being a dad. Truly, it was the one thing in my life I actually felt I was good at.

James McLeod tried desperately to get custody of his kids because of his ex wife’s mental health issues

Sadly, in time, Charmaine’s mental health worsened. She thought the devil was telling her to kill herself and animals were talking to her – one time she thought there was a giraffe in the car with her. 

She was diagnosed with schizophrenia. After she took two overdoses in the space of a two weeks in front of Aaleyn we split.

‘The kids can’t be around this,’ I said.

Charmaine moved into the flat below mine and I kept the children with me. 

Days later on January 4, 2018, after I’d spent the morning with Charmaine and the kids, the police turned up.

Charmaine said I’d raped her the previous year and abused one of the kids.

It was all lies – and as soon as I told the police about Charmaine’s history, they investigated it and the accusations were dismissed.

I was sad rather than angry because I knew how unwell Charmaine was. 

But sadness soon turned to fury when months later Charmaine took a court order out on me, claiming I was a danger to the children. 

While waiting for a hearing to contest the order, I got to see my children two hours every fortnight in a visit supervised by social workers.

‘Daddy, when are we coming home?’ Aaleyn and Matilda kept asking. 

I couldn’t answer. Charmaine was playing dirty, so I recorded conversations.

I couldn’t afford a lawyer for the hearing but subpoenaed her medical records myself.

Devastatingly, the judge continued the order without reading the records, so I had no choice but launch a Family Court battle for full custody.

During this time, Charmaine made yet more accusations of rape, which after painful investigation, were once again dismissed.  

I became worried Charmaine might harm herself or our children to get at me. I warned police, psychiatrists and social workers repeatedly.

‘She’s a danger to them,’ I told anyone who would listen.

In May 2019, during my access visit, Zaidok, two, said, ‘I love you daddy.’

It was his first real sentence.

I was desperate to get the kids back home with me permanently.  

But a couple of weeks later, the police turned up at my house.  

‘There’s been an accident involving your wife and children,’ an officer said.

Charmaine and the kids had been in a head-on collision with a lorry.

‘All I ever wanted to be was a good dad. And I know I was. I’d just wish I’d got to do it for a lifetime longer,’ writes James McLeod

‘Unfortunately, there are no survivors,’ he said.

I fell to my knees. But even in that moment, I knew it wasn’t an accident.  

‘I bloody well warned you she would do this,’ I choked.

I don’t know what I would have done if my mum Carol hadn’t moved in to help me cope. The tragedy was so devastating, people worldwide sent condolences.

Before the funeral I sat in the church with four little white coffins and sobbed my heart out.

A police investigation confirmed Charmaine killed herself and the kids deliberately. The findings of an inquest revealed the day before Charmaine murdered our children her Family Court lawyer emailed saying social workers were reporting my access visits very differently to Charmaine.

‘From staff observations it could appear you are being obstructive in facilitating the father’s time with the children when the observations are that the children are happy to see him each visit displaying no fear,’ she wrote.

She added, ‘The children have also been noted to say that they want to either live with dad again or that they want him to live next door to them. The children have also remarked to staff that ‘mummy won’t love us if we like daddy.’

Hours later, Charmaine drove into the lorry. She’d left a note that said: ‘To emergency I’m sorry. Yes. Intentional.’

Coroner Kellie O’Callaghan said Charmaine’s mental health was so complex, no one could have predicted what she’d do.

But I had. Repeatedly.

All I ever wanted to be was a good dad. And I know I was. I’d just wish I’d got to do it for a lifetime longer.  

•  As told to John Parrish

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