As someone who exclusively dates older men, I was shocked when, at the age of 34, I developed a huge crush on Scott*, a colleague ten years my junior. I had no idea that crush would lead to a steamy affair that would leave me riddled with remorse years later.
Scott was off limits – he had a girlfriend, I was dating someone, and I was his boss—but that didn’t stop me from flirting with him at every opportunity. He seemed embarrassed when I singled him out for praise and compliments and often blushed, but I kept up my charm offensive.
One day, I decided to kick the flirting up a notch and started wearing push-up bras and finding any excuse to lean over his desk. I caught him smiling the first time he spotted my cleavage, and I felt a tingling of excitement.
An accidental kiss at our Christmas party began our steamy affair. As we were saying our goodbyes at the end of the night, Scott leaned in to kiss my cheek, but I turned my head, and our lips touched.
He didn’t pull away; instead, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. Thankfully, no one on our team was around to witness our passionate embrace. I whispered to him, ‘My place is free; let’s grab a taxi.’
Nicole Kidman in a scene from her new film Babygirl
He may have been younger, but he knew his way around a woman’s body. With his gym-honed body and endless stamina, we spent the entire night making each other very happy. I made so much noise that I couldn’t look my neighbours in the eye for weeks afterwards, embarrassed by my screams of passion.
I wondered if Scott would be full of regret, brushing our encounter off as a drunken mistake. I felt guilty because neither of us was single, but I wouldn’t change a moment of our epic night together.
As everyone filed in to work the following Monday, sharing their stories of epic hangovers from the Christmas bash, Scott innocently asked, ‘Did you have a good time on Friday?’ giving me a wink. I nodded and found my face flushing.
Scott and I started working late, or at least that’s what we told our respective partners. We had sex whenever we could, often in my car, in hotels and even on the boardroom table. It was purely a physical relationship; we never spoke about our lives outside of work or our partners.
I knew the fling with Scott would fizzle out one day, and when I interviewed for another role six months later, I knew it was time to end things. I had recently ended things with my partner and was looking to make a fresh start somewhere new.
I didn’t think about Scott too often until 2021, when I had a drink with an old work colleague. As we reminisced about old times, she said, ‘You remember that hottie Scott? He was so uneasy when you were flirting with him. He didn’t know what to do with himself!’
I laughed awkwardly and said, ‘I wasn’t that bad, was I? It was only a bit of fun.’ Then my friend said something that gave me chills: ‘You were his boss; maybe he thought if he told you to stop flirting, you’d fire him.’
I can’t believe the thought had never occurred to me before – the unequal power dynamic and the fact that he seemed initially resistant when I came onto him. He consented to everything after that first kiss, but what about the lead-up? We lived in a post-Me Too world, and I suddenly felt like a predator.
Nicole Kidman features in the film Babygirl, pictured, where she enjoys an affair with a much younger man
I messaged Scott that night for the first time in five years, feeling queasy about opening up a potentially tricky conversation. I didn’t even know if he still had the same number, but ten minutes after I messaged, ‘Hey, long time no see! Are you free for a quick chat?’ I saw his number flash up on my screen.
Once we got the pleasantries out of the way, I got to my point: ‘I’m calling because…erm… did I force you into having sex with me?’
Silence. Then, a howl of laughter. ‘No, madam, you did not force me to do anything.’
‘But I heard I made you uncomfortable,’ I answered.
‘Well, yes, it was awkward having your boss tell you that you’ve got nice arms when you’re going about your work day, but I only told people I felt uncomfortable because I had a girlfriend, and I didn’t want them to think I was a total d***.’
I felt relief wash over me as we chatted briefly. I was lucky that Scott was happy with what happened between us, but it made me reflect on other workplace flirtations that could have made others uneasy.
I always felt like Scott was a willing participant but maybe I was so blinded by lust that I didn’t stop to consider that I had power over him as his boss. It has certainly made me wary of any workplace flirting in the future, although, as I now work from home, the only person I can harass is myself!
‘I’ve always been treated like the underdog in every relationship I’ve ever had… being his boss felt like an intoxicating aphrodisiac’
As told to Raj Gill
It wasn’t until she entered her 60s that it dawned on Naomi that she could be considered a sexual predator. What is it with folk these days and their desperate need to stick a label on everything. Up until this point she had quite happily been conducting her extra marital dalliances with no consequences or bad conscience.
Her one golden rule was ‘not on her own doorstep’, and that’s how she sailed through these minor indiscretions without getting caught. Everything changed when her firm assigned her a full time driver.
He was very young, handsome and charismatic, and understood her in ways her husband never could. And she was his boss, this felt like an intoxicating aphrodisiac, one which she couldn’t and chose not to ignore. She spent more time with Aidan than she did with her husband David, so it was kind of inevitable.
Even though Naomi was in her 60s when the affair started, she still looked as if she was in her 40s, on the odd occasion she met Aidan in public, they weren’t stared at in the way she was when she was out with her husband who was 20 years older.
She had fallen for a wealthy, older guy, which made her ever more determined to rise up through the ranks of the pharmaceutical company, to whom she devoted her every working hour.
Nicole Kidman (pictured) recently admitted she had to stop filming the erotic thriller Babygirl multiple times because she was so turned on
She knew the minute she laid eyes on him that he would end up in her bed. His first assignment was to collect her from the airport and take her to a board members meeting, her flight was massively delayed.
She had planned on going directly to the hotel, changing out of her traveling clothes, freshening up and then delivering her pitch, best laid plans and all that. She had to hastily change in the back of the car, and even though she had instructed Aidan to keep his eyes on the road, she caught him taking a few sneaky glances, which endeared him to her.
The meeting was a huge success and Naomi was in the mood to celebrate, the first stop was the hotel, Aidan accompanied her to her suite with her luggage. Upon arrival she asked him to open the champagne that was chilling in the bucket, and to pour two glasses. And that was it, the start of the affair.
An affair that was so easy to conduct because why would anyone in a million years suspect that Naomi who was married to a handsome successful man would feel the need to stray, and if she felt the notion would she really choose someone on the payroll?
It’s only now that Naomi has realized that her situation isn’t unique and perhaps it more commonplace than she imagined. The premise of the film Babygirl struck a cord, she could see herself as the main lead, Nicole Kidman. It had her momentarily questioning her behaviour; however the minute she set eyes on Aidan again she just couldn’t help herself.
It did lead her to analyse the relationship and it dawned on her that the dynamic of her being the one that held all the power was a key part of the longevity of the affair.
She was in control, every aspect of the relationship was on her terms, she could cut it off whenever she chose, she wasn’t beholden to Aidan, didn’t owe him anything and in return he didn’t expect anything. He was the perfect playmate, never demanding anything of her, never complaining, never questioning his role in her life, never trying to ‘put her in her place’ the way that men had all her life.
They saw her; saw that she was very attractive and immediately made assumptions, usually the wrong assumptions, undermining her and her abilities.
Aidan was the complete opposite, he opened her eyes to the fact that men could be different, how much of that was down to the fact that he was an employee she was not sure. How different would things be if they had just met on the dating scene? No, she shuddered at the thought. She liked things the way they were. She picked and chose when she wanted to be with him and he played along.
She didn’t know it was possible to have a relationship like this. She had always been treated like the underdog in every relationship she ever had. This was new, exciting and she isn’t willing to let it go.
She rarely thinks about what would be the consequences if she got caught. But she never gave that too much thought as the idea of losing her kids was too much, but not enough for her to give up Aidan. She’s even imagined scenarios of what if her husband walked in on them, and to be frank she’s decided that she’s at that stage in life where she would just put her hands up to it and own what she has done.
Naomi is very excited to see the film when it comes out on the big screen next year, wondering how many parallels it will have to her own life.
Names have been changed
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