Superficially— is there any other way with WAGs? — this is a tale of two very similar, wealthy and famous women in their 30s, having very similar sunshine breaks at exactly the same time.
In one corner, you have Coleen Rooney, wife of a multi-millionaire footballer with four sons, frolicking on a beach and a boat in the sunshine of Barbados.
In the other, you have Rebekah Vardy, wife of a multi-millionaire footballer, on holiday with her five children, frolicking on the beach and a boat in the sunshine of Ibiza.
The women are, of course, deadly rivals. Becky, 38, is suing Coleen, 34, for defamation over the Wagatha Christie sensation, which saw her being accused by Coleen of selling stories about her private life.
Becky has issued a writ, and in legal papers said that she was mercilessly trolled online and brought close to suicide by the abuse she received after Coleen blamed her.
Pregnant at the time, she says that the stress of the scandal had left her fearful of losing her unborn baby and at times she was too scared to leave her home.
Before that court showdown, though, we have the spectacle of the WAGs’ competing holidays. And while both are flashy and expensive, it’s clear that Becky’s is the beta version of Coleen’s alpha super-break.
Not that everything in camp Rooney is sheer luxury: Wayne’s been feasting on chips from a takeaway polystyrene tray and swigging bottled beers.
Becky, meanwhile, has been toting a six-litre bottle of rose wine and visiting a beach bar for sushi. ALISON BOSHOFF keeps score…
The bikini bombshells
Coleen is famous for her swimwear — on a holiday two years ago she was pictured wearing 17 different bikinis. This holiday has been relatively restrained for her.
The star of the show was her black Balenciaga bikini with high-waisted briefs, costing £465.
She also wore a maroon, belted swimsuit with ruffled shoulders from Agua Bendita costing £120, and a £194 red halterneck one-piece by ViX.
One day — when it rained — she wore a £245 lace-up swimsuit by Melissa Odabash, and opted for a leopard-print bikini costing £220, also by Odabash, on another day.
She was also seen in a royal blue Lazul halterneck bikini (£222, pictured above). That’s a £1,466 swimwear wardrobe.
Becky’s beachwear has been comparatively down-to-earth, with her most expensive design being a £210 Melissa Odabash snakeskin-print bikini, followed by a £136 black Miraclesuit.
She also wore a bright pink Billabong swimsuit, £70, a frilly, monochrome Pour Moi bikini, £28, and a High Street special, a brown, tie-dyed Next bikini, £40.
Bragging rights: Coleen — with a swimwear selection for this trip alone costing £1,466 (as opposed to Becky’s £484) Coleen is queen of the cossies.
Coleen was also seen in a royal blue Lazul halterneck bikini (£222, pictured left). Becky’s beachwear has been comparatively down-to-earth, with her most expensive design being a £210 Melissa Odabash snakeskin-print bikini
Sophisticated specs
Coleen has been wearing her heart-shaped Saint Laurent sunglasses, costing £195, and her Gucci square sunglasses with gold frames, costing £320. And she loves her £685 Cartier shades.
Becky has opted for mirror cat-eye glasses with white frames by Tom Ford, £168, and Saint Laurent Kate sunglasses, £270.
Bragging rights: Coleen— an eye-watering £1,200 on three pairs of sunglasses leaves Becky’s £438 in the dust.
Contrasting crew
Coleen and Wayne went away with her family — as usual. They are a tight-knit unit.
Her mum, Colette — her ‘hero’ and ‘best friend’ — and dad, Tony, flew to Barbados with the couple and their children, Kai, ten, Klay, seven, Kit, four, and Cass, two.
Tony was a bricklayer and ran a boxing club. Colette worked part-time as a cleaner at a sixth-form college.
Coleen’s brother Joe stayed at the Hilton hotel around the corner from the Rooney holiday home. It is thought Coleen and Wayne have backed his fitness business.
Becky, by contrast, is not on speaking terms with her mother. Husband Jamie also fell out with both his parents when he married her.
None of the three attended their 2016 wedding. The only parent to whom they are close is her father, Carlos, but he did not come to Ibiza with them, nor did her sister, Esther.
One of their crowd is thought to be security, and another their nanny. Becky’s children, Megan, 15, and Taylor, ten, from previous relationships, are with them, alongside their three children, Sofia, five, Finley, three, and baby Olivia.
Bragging rights: Coleen — you can’t put a price on inter-generational harmony.
Holiday homes in paradise
Wayne and Coleen have been staying at their £5 million house in Barbados on a private, gated estate. The home, on the Royal Westmoreland estate, would cost £25,000 a week to rent.
Special features include an infinity pool and shaded patio dining area, as well as five bedrooms.
Situated on the ‘platinum’ west coast, the estate offers a five-star beach and spa resort plus a tip-top golf course.
Former cricketers Andrew Flintoff and Michael Vaughan, golfers Ian Woosnam and Lee Westwood, and ex-footballer Joe Cole are among the celebrity fans of the Royal Westmoreland.
Becky and Jamie Vardy have been staying in a rented villa with a huge pool and lovely gardens in Ibiza, close to Playa d’en Bossa beach. It is thought to cost £15,000 a week.
Jamie has long been a big fan of the White Isle, and in his early days at Leicester considered quitting football in order to work as a holiday rep in Ibiza.
Bragging rights: Coleen— what could be blingier than your own £5 million home in the Caribbean?
Wayne and Coleen have been staying at their £5 million house in Barbados on a private, gated estate. The home, on the Royal Westmoreland estate, would cost £25,000 a week to rent
Becky and Jamie Vardy have been staying in a rented villa with a huge pool and lovely gardens in Ibiza, close to Playa d’en Bossa beach. It is thought to cost £15,000 a week
Fashionable fellas?
Both husbands are tattooed. Wayne — worth £100 million — has one on his forearm that reads ‘Just Enough Education To Perform’, which is the name of a Stereophonics album.
He also has ‘English and proud’ on his shoulder, an image of praying hands on his back and the Celtic cross and Coleen’s name on his arm.
He has spent all holiday wearing caps by British brand Yelir, covering the results of two £30,000 hair transplants. He seems to favour plain trunks by French brand Vilebrequin.
Jamie, a Leicester City player worth £10 million, is flasher in dress, favouring £250 trunks by Dolce & Gabbana and DSquared2.
Oddly, on some of the days he appears to be wearing underpants and swim shorts together.
Bragging rights: Coleen— Wayne is no Mr Darcy….but at least he doesn’t wear his underwear into the sea.
What a yacht to be happy about
Both families have spent time on the water, with Becky sailing over from Ibiza to Formentera with friends including the model Caprice Bourret, and taking another glamorous trip, this time without Caprice.
Her boat was the smaller and cheaper of the two — worth £5.5 million against Coleen’s £9.9 million vessel.
Coleen, Wayne and their family took a 17-metre Lagoon 500 catamaran out and were waited on hand and foot by the crew, who included a top-class chef and someone particularly good at uncorking chilled champagne.
It costs an eye-watering £67,000 a week to hire. Becky and her friends went out twice on a Riva 88 Domino superyacht, which costs £38,000 a week to charter.
It features a barbecue and jet-ski. Becky was seen grinning and bringing a £290 six-litre bottle of rosé aboard last week.
Bragging rights: Coleen — wins the yacht-off hands down, with her vessel costing almost double that of her rival.
Both families have spent time on the water, with Becky sailing over from Ibiza to Formentera with friends including the model Caprice Bourret, and taking another glamorous trip, this time without Caprice
Coleen, Wayne and their family took a 17-metre Lagoon 500 catamaran out and were waited on hand and foot by the crew, who included a top-class chef and someone particularly good at uncorking chilled champagne
Competing over their cover-ups
On a night out, Becky wore a £360 Ikat-print yellow mini-dress by Rhode teamed with Gianvito Rossi heels, £600.
Her other holiday dresses included a £775 floral chiffon mini from Zimmermann and a Miss June short kaftan costing £120. She’s also branched out wearing a striped jumpsuit with pom-poms (£56).
Her Pitusa summer dress cost around £100. Posing with her family, she wore a floral Zimmermann playsuit (£663).
Coleen chose a £100 tassel-backed pale blue dress from Pitusa (left), and wore a £140 white polka-dot dress by Samsoe & Samsoe with her Balenciaga bikini. On another outing, she paired £400 Missoni shorts with her swimsuit.
She wore two dresses by the label Sndys, one with a floral print (£200) and a printed Monica mini (£300). There was also a blue Melissa Odabash cover-up (£314).
Bragging rights: Becky — for once, Becky is blingier, with a collection totalling £2,074 to Coleen’s £1,454.
Coleen chose a £100 tassel-backed pale blue dress from Pitusa (left), and wore a £140 white polka-dot dress by Samsoe & Samsoe with her Balenciaga bikini. On a night out, Becky wore a £360 Ikat-print yellow mini-dress by Rhode teamed with Gianvito Rossi heels, £600. Her other holiday dresses included a £775 floral chiffon mini from Zimmermann (right)
Kitting out children
Both have posted pictures of their families on Instagram, with Coleen sharing a snap of Kai wearing a £160 Gucci cap, captioned: ‘My big cheeky boy.’
She also shared a picture of herself, Wayne and the boys lined up outside their house.
Kai (from far left) is wearing Kenzo kids’ trunks, £85, and a Kenzo T-shirt, £60. Klay is wearing a Sunuva top, £59, and shorts, £59.
Cass is wearing Sunuva Skateboard print shorts, £42, and top, £59, and Kit is wearing shorts by the same brand, £58.
Becky shared a picture of her family on the terrace of their rented holiday house. Son Taylor wears a £68 Lacoste shirt, while Finley is in a £122 Givenchy T-shirt and a pair of £14 denim shorts from Next.
Sofia is wearing a white and pink sun dress, £48, by Sunuva, and baby Olivia seems to be wearing a £36 ruffled dress from Petit Bateau.
Bragging rights: Coleen— kitting out her kids for a single day comes to £582. For Becky, it’s a more modest £288, though that doesn’t include Megan’s outfit. Becky gets extra points for making a holiday with an eight-month-old look a breeze.
Both have posted pictures of their families on Instagram, with Coleen sharing a snap of Kai wearing a £160 Gucci cap, captioned: ‘My big cheeky boy.’ She also shared a picture of herself, Wayne and the boys lined up outside their house
Becky shared a picture of her family on the terrace of their rented holiday house. Son Taylor wears a £68 Lacoste shirt, while Finley is in a £122 Givenchy T-shirt and a pair of £14 denim shorts from Next
And the winner is…
At a staggering cost of £96,702, Coleen’s week in the sun puts Becky’s £56,284 in the shade.