Andrew Pierce: When Boris lost his bounce

Delegates may have swooned over Boris Johnson for his barnstorming speech, but his colleagues had the knives out.

For example, while on a panel of Scottish Tory MPs discussing how the party can connect better with younger voters, Scottish Secretary David Mundell was asked if Johnson is the answer.

He replied: ‘I do recall that Boris Johnson once stood as Rector of Edinburgh University. You can look at the results.’

Delegates may have swooned over Boris Johnson for his barnstorming speech, but his colleagues had the knives out

In fact, the poll of students and staff in 2006, to appoint someone to chair meetings of the university’s governing body, left Johnson humiliated.

He came a poor third behind the winner, a balding Green politician who is now director of strategy at the health charity Chest Heart & Stroke Scotland. During the campaign, mischievous anti-Johnson students distributed pamphlets which said: ‘Practice safe X. Don’t wake up with a dumb blond.’

Is he a Tory wet? 

What a big softie. How pathetic that 18st world heavyweight boxing champion Anthony Joshua needed a security team to protect him while posing for photos in a hotel swimming pool near the conference centre. 

How pathetic that 18st world heavyweight boxing champion Anthony Joshua needed a security team to protect him while posing for photos in a hotel swimming pool

How pathetic that 18st world heavyweight boxing champion Anthony Joshua needed a security team to protect him while posing for photos in a hotel swimming pool

Torcuil Crichton, Westminster editor of Scotland’s Left-wing Daily Record, employed a smart ruse to confuse a group who heckled him as he spoke to a TV camera-team. 

Suddenly switching language from English to Gaelic, he watched with glee as the uncomprehending crowd melted into the distance. 

Morgan’s very rum encounter 

Nicky Morgan’s old school motto was ‘Amor Nos Semper Ducat’ (May Love Always Lead Us). So, the ex-Education Secretary was prepared for a bizarre incident yesterday.

Applying her make-up in a hotel loo, she overheard a giggling couple having sex in a cubicle.

Nicky Morgan's old school motto was ¿Amor Nos Semper Ducat¿ (May Love Always Lead Us). So, the ex-Education Secretary was prepared for a bizarre incident yesterday

Nicky Morgan’s old school motto was ‘Amor Nos Semper Ducat’ (May Love Always Lead Us). So, the ex-Education Secretary was prepared for a bizarre incident yesterday

An observer who witnessed the scene said: ‘It was noisy enough to hear over the hand-dryers.’

Mrs Morgan, chairwoman of the influential Treasury Select Committee, brushed off questions about it, telling PoliticsHome: ‘I’ve no idea about some of what goes on at Tory conference and I have no intention of asking!’

How to lose friends up North quickly: in his speech, Chancellor Philip Hammond used the phrase ‘here in the North-East . . .’ 

Er, Manchester (the UK’s third-biggest city with a population over two million) is in the North-West.

Joke of the day: Brexit Secretary David Davis said: ‘I still get people coming up to me every day saying: “Best of luck.” Or: “Get a good deal for us, Mr Davis.” And even: “Surely it can’t be that difficult?” And that’s just the Cabinet.’ 

Grassroots darling Jacob Rees-Mogg insists he doesn’t want to be Tory leader. But the MP is speaking at nine different events during the conference. 

Sounds very much like a leadership campaign to me. 

Ruth gives Arlene the kiss-off 

Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson, who’s gay and famous for her kick-boxing, was asked about the Government’s pact with Northern’s Ireland’s DUP, which opposes same-sex marriages.

She said: ‘I’m not sure Arlene Foster [DUP leader] would be comfortable with the idea of being in bed with me. I haven’t kick-boxed in years, but I am still a lesbian.’

Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson, who¿s gay and famous for her kick-boxing, was asked about the Government¿s pact with Northern¿s Ireland¿s DUP, which opposes same-sex marriages

Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson, who’s gay and famous for her kick-boxing, was asked about the Government’s pact with Northern’s Ireland’s DUP, which opposes same-sex marriages

Meanwhile, at the Women2Win reception, the big-name guest was party chairman Sir Patrick McLoughlin. As he clambered on to the small stage to address the group (which helps women try to win safe Tory parliamentary seats), he tripped and fell flat on his face.

How apt for a man whose performance as party cheerleader has been, at best, stumbling.

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk