A former anorexic has revealed how she was once so thin she was forced to sit on a pillow to stop her bones from digging painfully into chairs.
Nikola Palakova, a restaurant and bar supervisor who now lives in Liverpool, began dieting at the age of 11 while still living in her homeland, the Czech Republic.
When she started being complimented on her frame, she started cutting calories until she was existing on a mere 200 a day, and her weight ultimately plummeted to just 6st2lbs.
Aspiring singer Nikola, who is 5ft7ins tall, said her frailty even affected her ability to sing – making her voice less powerful.
At her lowest ebb aged 16, Nikola finally sought help from her mother, and after two months in hospital, began to rebuild her life and her health.
Now 22 and 10st1lb, Nikola has beaten her eating disorder demons, and is dreaming once again of pursuing a singing career.
Nikola Palakova, 22, dropped to just six stone, making her dangerously unhealthy for her five foot seven frame
After she spent two months in hospital recovering from anorexia she is now a healthy 10st 1Ibs and a UK size 10 to 12
Nikola said of the turning point: ‘Everyone was telling me I looked horrible and ill and I was going to die if I carried on. People in the streets were shouting at me and laughing at me for being anorexic.
‘I had to bring a little pillow to school to sit on because the chairs were too hard, as my bones were literally digging in.
‘I was so cold all the time and started growing more hair. One day I told my mum that I may have lost too much weight and I can’t eat without wanting to die.’
Feeling utterly lost, she finally turned to her mother for help, and her parents supported her through the two months that she was subsequently hospitalised.
She would have to bring a pillow to school to stop her bones from digging into her chair after she rapidly lost weight
Nikola, an aspiring singer, found that her singing voice had changed thanks to the weight loss
Nikola, who was 16 at the time, made the decision to move to England with her parents and change her life, and she is now a healthy weight.
‘When it started I felt great because I was losing weight and got a lot of compliments, so I felt like I was successful in something,’ she said.
‘As it went on I carried on feeling great – or at least that’s what I thought then. People were telling me I look ill and too skinny, but I didn’t think I was ill. I was in control and my own little world.
‘But thinking about it now, I was lonely, dark and very sad. I argued with everyone, lied to everyone and lost my friends.
Her friends and family told her that she looked unwell, but she couldn’t see it herself
She stopped singing completely as she found that her weight loss left her with no energy to carry on doing the things she loved
‘I felt lost, like I didn’t have anyone left and no one understood me. To me I was perfectly normal and proud, but I was ill, and everyone knew.’
As a passionate singer, Nikola was devastated when she discovered that her weight loss had changed her voice.
She continued: ‘When I was at my worst I stopped singing completely. I just didn’t have the energy to do it anymore.
‘When I was recovering my dad would often get angry with me because my voice wasn’t as strong as it used to be, and he’d tell me it’s because I was too thin.’
Nikola was told that she would die within months and would never have children if she didn’t recover from anorexia
She decided to quite school in her home country of the Czech Republic and left for England to be with her mother
After months of being admitted to hospital, she was informed by doctors that she wouldn’t be able to have children and would die within months if she didn’t recover. This became a wake-up call for her.
‘This was my biggest nightmare. I was lonely and lost. I needed my parents,’ she said.
‘I didn’t want to die, and I didn’t want to go to the ”special” hospital. I quit school and moved to England where I started my treatment shortly after this.
‘I feel so much stronger as a person. It’s definitely something I’m proud of. It’s so hard and a lot of people don’t ever recover.
Nikola struggled with eating and drinking more to gain weight after dieting since the age of 11
Recovery: She now snacks regularly and even has two to three courses for her dinner
‘I also feel like I can help other people who struggle with anorexia as I went through it all. I feel much happier now and I absolutely love and appreciate food.’
The process of changing her lifestyle to include eating and gaining weight was the most difficult for Nikola, who now snacks regularly during her shifts and even has two to three courses for dinner.
‘I hated seeing my parents angry and broken. I know they wanted to help. I really wanted to get better, but I also didn’t,’ she said.
She says her friends and family are now ‘proud’ of how she far she has come in her recovery
Nikola wants other anorexia sufferers to know that there is a ‘way out’ of the illness
‘My friends and family are all really proud of me of course and appreciate how far I’ve come and understand it was hard and they know I’m a strong person, but we don’t talk about it too often.
‘There is a way out. I know anorexia seems like that’s the world you want to be in and you’ll be happier if you lose more weight – you won’t.
‘There’s so much out here in this world. So many things that you can’t enjoy unless you recover. It’s a much happier world without anorexia.’
The eating disorder charity Beat’s Helpline can be contacted via phone on 0808 801 0677 or email help@b-eat.co.uk.