Sharing a bed with a partner is an opportunity to be extremely intimate – but it can also spark plenty of arguments.
While one half of a couple might struggle to doze off without first getting into the spooning position, the other could well find sleeping in such close proximity uncomfortable or even irritating.
Which might explain why a recent survey found that a quarter of British couples admit to sleeping in separate beds.
The study revealed how the stresses and strains of modern life mean 24 per cent of couples are now regularly sleeping in different beds.
Arguments or problems in the relationship are behind 38 per cent of couples decision to sleep separately, according to the research commissioned by Bensons for Beds.
Life coach Olga Levancuka reveals what your sleeping position with your partner says about your relationship
Nearly one in ten (8 per cent) of the 2,000 couples polled said they were no longer as close to their partner since they have stopped sleeping together – and a further 28 per cent said their sex life had suffered as a result.
Olga Levancuka, a leading life coach and the author of the book How To Be Selfish, warned that we should be keeping an eye on our partner’s sleeping habits to avoid ending up in separate bedrooms – or heading for an altogether more permanent separation.
Olga believes that the positions you and your partner adopt while sleeping can reveal a lot about the state of the relationship, because the subconscious mind controls how you arrange your body under the covers, sending signals, or clues, about how you’re feeling.
Here Olga reveals the sleeping positions that could be red flags in your relationships.
SPOONING
Spooning is a common sleeping position among couples and it demonstrates that one person in the couple is protective over the other. It can also reveal sensuality as it leaves the person being spooned in a sexually vulnerable position.
However, if the spooning turns into a chase and one of you has retreated towards their side of the bed while the other is following in an attempt to maintain closeness, trouble may lie ahead as something in the relationship is amiss.
There’s a chance that one of you has become disconnected from the relationship and have given up on creating intimacy. It’s time to find out what’s causing this feeling by asking your partner whether they feel that the passion has died or if there’s anything they feel they’re missing by being in the relationship.
She says that sleeping on your partner’s chest could suggest that you need more independence in a relationship
Often small things can be overlooked and end up creating a big disconnect which gets bigger as time passes by. Address the issue while it’s still early.
SLEEPING ON YOUR PARTNER’S CHEST
When your partner sleeps on their back, and cradles your head in their arms as you rest your head on their chest, the message is that they are protective over you.
If you’re facing them in the fetal position resting on their chest it shows that you’re comfortable to depend on them but if you sleep with your head on their chest while your body is away from theirs, it shows that you want more independence and want to make your choices in day to day life.
You may love your partner and spending time with them but you wish you had more time to yourself and you had more of a say on decisions that affect you. Firstly, you need to evaluate your own feelings.
Are you in a healthy relationship and you just happened to get a bit carried away making all the decisions as a couple or do you have an unhealthy dependence on your other half? While it’s good to be close to your partner, completely losing yourself in him or her is not the best idea.
Find a time when you and your partner are relaxed and explain why it’s important to you to regain your sense of self. Start by making small decisions you feel comfortable with such as spending more time with friends and family. Regaining some of your independence may be all your relationship needs to survive.
SLEEPING ON YOUR STOMACH
Sleeping on your stomach protects the front of your body which can be an indication of feeling anxious or vulnerable.
If your partner is constantly touching your feet it could mean they feel deprived of sexual intimacy
Unless you have a health problem such as neck pain and sleeping on your stomach is more comfortable, this position shows that you may be afraid to show your emotions.
It’s time to have a chat with your partner about how you feel in the relationship. Make sure to frame your words in a way that expresses your concern while keeping your partner’s feelings in mind.
If you notice your partner sleeping facing down, you can cuddle up to make them to make them feel protected and let them know you’re there for them.
THE BED STARFISH
If one person sleeps like a starfish in which their arms and legs are splayed across the bed, it’s an indication that this person is pretty selfish.
If your partner is doing this and is pushing you to the point where you’re pretty much about to fall off the bed, it’s time to have a frank conversation with them about the state of the relationship.
Subconsciously this signals that they are not overly concerned about your feelings any longer so perhaps it’s best for you to move on.
PLAYING FOOTSIE
If your bodies don’t touch while sleeping but one of you starts playing footsie under the duvet, it indicates that this person is craving emotional or sexual attention.
If that’s you then you need to address any issues with your partner as soon as you can as the longer you leave it the more frustrated you will become and the more difficult it will become for you to share your thoughts calmly.
If your partner starts doing this and you’re still want to be with them make sure you schedule some time together and remind yourself why you love them.