Australia took an hour and eight minutes of the final morning to wrap up an inevitable victory in the first Test at the Gabba, easing home by 10 wickets to stretch their unbeaten run here to 29 matches.
The hosts resumed on 114 without loss, with the stadium’s giant screen attempting to inject life into a dead situation: ‘To win – Australia 56 runs, England 10 wickets.’ The lack of tension was reflected by the empty seats, save for a few thousand diehards, many of them English. Here were the definitive last rites.
With more interest surrounding allegations that Jonny Bairstow had headbutted Australian opener Cameron Bancroft at the start of the tour, the cricket had an otherworldly air.
England crashed to an opening Ashes Test defeat by 10 wickets at the Gabba
Australia openers Cameron Bancroft and David Warner hit unbeaten half centuries in the win
The opening pair shake hands after they secure a vital win in the first Test in Brisbane
While ECB director of cricket Andrew Strauss was briefing journalists that Bairstow’s gesture had been ‘playfulness, blown out of all proportion’, Bancroft and his opening partner David Warner were busy completing victory.
England would have enjoyed denying Warner the pleasure of being there at the end, following his predictable role in fanning the flames of the Bairstow-Bancroft incident. But their bowling has lacked any teeth since they reduced Australia to 209 for seven shortly before lunch on day three.
After that, the Australians scored 293 for three on a surface that remained unyielding to all seamers bar the quickest – and England are not in possession of those.
Bancroft played and missed occasionally, which will encourage England if the ball swings at Adelaide next week, but there was barely even time to land a moral victory. And it was all over when Bancroft lofted Chris Woakes straight for four, leaving Warner unbeaten on 87 and Bancroft still there on 82 in his debut Test.
After three days of what many have described as an ‘arm-wrestle’, this game ended with Australia asphyxiating England in a half-nelson.
The margin of victory said little about the evenly matched first innings, but plenty about Australia’s capacity to win the big moments. Only once before, in 1954-55, have England won here after losing the first Test at Brisbane.
Well, Joe Root did say he wanted to achieve something special…