Bachelor star reveals her crippling 15-year sex addiction

Former Bachelor star Belinda ‘Love’ Rygier has lifted the lid on her 15-year battle with sex addiction.

The relationship coach, who found fame on Matthew Johnson’s season of The Bachelor in 2017, spoke to Daily Mail Australia this week about her soul-destroying sexual appetite, and how she managed to turn her life around.

‘I was hurting and seeking validation through sexual partners, and as I didn’t feel worthy due to a long list of events as a child, I would attract men that confirmed that for me,’ said Belinda, who has slept with more than 700 men.

‘I hit rock bottom’: Former Bachelor star Belinda ‘Love’ Rygier (pictured) has lifted the lid on her 15-year battle with sex addiction 

Belinda believes she developed her sex addiction partly because she was raped at age 18, an experience that made her ‘turn to sex as a way to find love and self-worth’.

Unfortunately, any feelings of validation were always fleeting.

‘The next day [after sleeping with someone] was the absolute worst. Not that I have truly experienced drugs, but I would liken it to the come down from that,’ she said.

‘I was hurting and seeking validation through sexual partners’: The relationship coach, who found fame on Matthew Johnson’s season of The Bachelor in 2017, spoke to Daily Mail Australia about her soul-destroying sexual appetite, and how she managed to turn her life around

What is sex addiction? 

Sex addiction, which is sometimes referred to as ‘compulsive sexual behaviour’ or ‘hypersexual disorder’, is a condition in which a person feels their sexual behaviour is ‘out of control’, according to the relationship counselling service Relate.

Some people find they are unable to control these urges and actions or cannot limit their behaviour.

Others will become dependent on the activity in a bid to numb out negative emotions and difficult experiences. 

Symptoms include experiencing overwhelming, persistent sexual thoughts and urges, being incapable of refraining from having sex with others and typically feeling guilty or  ashamed after acting on your sexual compulsions. 

Those with the addiction may also spend significant amounts of time viewing pornography.

In 2018, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared sex addiction a mental-health disorder.   

 

‘A huge hit of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during the experience. The next day, when they didn’t call as they promised, I would have a huge come down. I would hit rock bottom, feel worthless and worse than if I didn’t have the experience. It would send me into a spiral and then I would need another “hit” so to speak.’

Belinda said she’d previously felt ashamed to tell others how many people she’d slept with.

‘I always hid my number, because it is well over 700, and I felt people would judge me and I would never find love. I still to this day hate that question because I feel it is filled with judgment from the wrong people,’ she said. 

However, Belinda is shining a light on her own experience in order to help others suffering from sex addiction. 

‘This is why I am speaking up, to educate, and inspire people to feel comfortable about themselves, and their past, and to not judge yourself firstly, but anyone, as you never know their life and can’t unless you have lived it,’ she added.

Belinda, who has been celibate for 10 months, healed her addiction by taking self-development courses, studying NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), and doing breathwork and meditation. 

‘I didn’t realise I had a sex addiction until after I did all the inner work and healed my lack of self-worth. I realised only a few years ago, but never told anyone until recently,’ the personal coach explained. 

‘I knew that I had, and still do have, a high sex drive, but I didn’t correlate that with sex addiction.’ 

Belinda is now looking for a relationship based on a ‘deep connection’, rather than what she describes as ‘fast-food sex’. 

‘I always hid my number, because it is well over 700’: Belinda said she had previously felt ashamed to tell others how many people she’d slept with

‘Once I found love for myself, I realised that sex was my way of validation; it showed me that I was desirable, but had a counter effect of making me feel unlovable.’

Belinda is a relationship coach, author, podcaster and MC. 

She stars in the upcoming online reality show Air Your Dirty Laundry with Belinda Love, which premieres on March 3. 

For confidential support contact 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 or Lifeline 131 114 

Searching for something deeper: Belinda is now looking for a relationship based on a ‘deep connection’, rather than what she describes as ‘fast-food sex’

New project: She stars in the upcoming online reality show Air Your Dirty Laundry with Belinda Love, which premieres on March 3

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Read more at DailyMail.co.uk