Bizarre reason couple who moved to France ended up back home within 12 months: ‘It’s a nightmare!’

A couple who moved from San Francisco to France just last year have already booked flights home after finding there was ‘too much grief and no joy’.

Joanna McIsaac-Kierklo, 74, and her husband Ed Kierklo, 75, had uprooted their lives to live out the dream in Europe. 

They decided to move away from the political climate in America, looking for ‘civility, consideration and little to no gun violence… which Nîmes has all three’, Joanna said. 

However, after a year, the retired couple found themselves struggling to make friends and became increasingly frustrated with French bureaucracy. 

‘We gave it a year here,’ Joanna said. ‘And we just said, ‘Too much grief and no joy.’ There’s no fun. We’re struggling every day.’ 

They had lived in the city of Nîmes for two months beforehand and said they ‘loved every minute’, so they hired a relocation specialist to help find them an apartment to rent

She told CNN: ‘I honestly don’t think we could have put in any more effort to acclimatize to the French way of life.’ 

Joanna described her experience as ‘a nightmare’ but said that they had not taken their decision to move across the world lightly. 

The couple, who had been married for 20 years, had done plenty of traveling both together and separately before their move. 

In 2011 the couple had moved to London and spent time traveling across Europe. 

‘I loved every place I went. I really enjoyed seeing a lot of Europe,’ Joanna said. 

The couple ultimately found they couldn’t afford to stay in London and moved back to San Francisco with the idea of looking for their next adventure. 

They had lived in the city of Nîmes for two months beforehand and said they ‘loved every minute’, so they hired a relocation specialist to help find them an apartment to rent. 

They also began the ever complicated and lengthy process of applying for a long-stay visa and found themselves also paying an extra $5,000 to fly their cat, Suzette, over. 

Before leaving San Francisco, they made the decision to keep hold of their rent-controlled apartment, which Joanna had lived in for over 40 years, just in case things didn’t go to plan. 

‘You’ve got to have a plan B,’ she said. ‘What if this doesn’t work out? I mean, we could never afford to buy back into California, because it’s really expensive.’ 

However, the couple hoped for the best and moved over in October 2023, Joanna said that they hadn’t thought it wouldn’t go to plan. 

‘We thought, ‘We’ll die here. We’re done.’,’ she said. 

‘I wish more people would show the not-so pleasant side of France. Because there is a not-so pleasant side of France, and that’s what we learned very quickly,’ Joanna said

They found their first few months relatively happy but were left bewildered by some of the rules and regulations they had been unaware of. 

Joanna found setting up a French bank account difficult, but also struggled with the language barrier. 

‘I have been so busy packing, unpacking, assembling furniture etc. that I haven’t really found time to hunker down and start [learning French]. It was always on my list but [I] just couldn’t find the time,’ she told CNN. 

Her enthusiasm for living in France wavered considerably at the beginning of this year, when the couple tried to arrange for their car to be transported from San Francisco to France. 

‘I read so many things that said, ‘Yes, do it’ or ‘No, don’t do it. It’s a nightmare.’,’ she said. 

‘Then, ‘Yes, you can do it. It’s not a problem.’ Well, it wouldn’t be a problem if their systems were consistent and made sense. But they just don’t. You can get five different answers to one simple little question.’ 

Frustration with the systems also extended into sorting out their healthcare. 

 ‘You have to find a general practitioner who will take you on as a patient, well, we went to like six doctors. [They all said] ‘We don’t take new patients…We don’t take new patients. We don’t take new patients’.’

‘What? ‘Where’s the list that tells you which ones do, and which ones don’t?’ They don’t have that. You’ve just got to figure it out yourself.’ 

Joanna also found the food, although famous worldwide, was not what she expected. 

Joanna struggled to find good produce and was not impressed with the food, despite the world-renowned cuisine, finding herself eating ‘brie, pâté, pastries and French bread all day long’ 

‘People go, ‘Oh my god, the French food is so fabulous’,’ Joanna said. ‘Yea, if you want to eat brie, pâté, pastries and French bread all day long. But who eats like that?’

She had been eagerly looking forward to cooking, but also found it difficult to find quality produce. 

‘You go to the supermarket, and the produce is terrible. You pick up a piece of celery and it falls over. It’s so limp. So old and horrible. Who would eat this?’ 

 Joanna said after finding obstacles around every corner, she found herself feeling incredibly drained. 

‘Every single day it was something more devastating than the day before,’ she said. ‘Things are very difficult to figure out here…So I’m too old for this.’ 

Joanna acknowledged that the US isn’t free of bureaucracy, but said she’s been able to manage this as ‘you get used to your rules I guess.’

‘You talk to the French, and they just shrug their shoulders,’ she said. ‘And they go, ‘Well, this is France. That’s how it is.”

Back in the US, Joanna, who describes herself as a ‘chatty box’ had an active social life but said she hadn’t been able to replicate that lifestyle so far in France. 

The lack of socialization ended up having a huge impact on her after a while. 

Aside from casual chat in the supermarket she found herself not having lengthy conversations with anyone aside from her husband. 

‘I said to Ed one day, ‘I haven’t talked to one person here in three months…’ I just miss interacting,’ she said. Joanna added that she doesn’t really want to ‘hang around with expats’ as ‘that’s not exactly why we came on this adventure.’ 

 While locals have been friendly and welcoming, Joanna found she hasn’t managed to ‘strike up friendships’ the way she hoped to. 

‘It’s a hard shell to break. They’re private people. But they’re also principled and moral. They’re nice people. There’s nothing unkind about them. They’re just not extremely social.’ 

‘It’s a really hard decision to make. After it was a hard decision to make to come here, to all of a sudden say, ‘This isn’t going to work for us’. [But] we don’t think it’s going to work for us… We don’t have 40 more years to live, you know,’ Joanna said 

After their struggles with feeling at home in Nîmes, the couple decided to relocate to Montpellier. 

While they prefer life in Montpellier, the couple realized that France doesn’t seem to be the right place for them to live out the rest of their lives. 

 ‘I love France. I think France is amazing country, just not to live here…’ 

Joanna added that she had read up on everything to do with living in France as an expat before they moved but she still didn’t feel prepared for the reality of life out there. 

‘I wish more people would show the not-so pleasant side of France. Because there is a not-so pleasant side of France, and that’s what we learned very quickly.’ 

Joanna, although was once eager to leave, now misses the ‘familiarity’ of the US. 

‘I miss knowing where things are. I miss frozen yogurt – because they don’t have it here. I miss stupid things… I miss my friends for sure,’ she said. ‘We don’t have family, but I have a great network of friends. I miss just being able to see them, and I miss my apartment.’ 

‘I think I just miss my life. I had one there [in San Francisco]. I don’t have one here.’ 

Although she acknowledged her feelings may change over time, she said she doesn’t want to ‘waste any more time’ and that ‘she’s not 30’. 

‘It’s a really hard decision to make. After it was a hard decision to make to come here, to all of a sudden say, ‘This isn’t going to work for us’. [But] we don’t think it’s going to work for us… We don’t have 40 more years to live, you know.’ 

Joanna explained they had friends who said that the way of living in France was ‘just heaven on earth’ and felt glad they found happiness, but knows it isn’t her heaven. 

‘It still remains one of the most spectacular countries to visit. But to live here is another story,’ she told CNN. 

The couple is currently figuring out costs of moving back to San Francisco before going full steam ahead, and felt the US election could sway their decision, but said they are pretty sure of their idea to move back in the not-too-distant future. 

She added: ‘We have a flight back to San Francisco in January, and I think we’re not going to come back. I don’t want to say we failed. But it just didn’t work out.”