BLACK DOG: BoJo gives burglars a lift

BLACK DOG: BoJo gives burglars a lift after two men who tried to break into the Parliamentary estate used Boris bikes as their getaway vehicles 

Boris Johnson’s pledge to do for Britain as Prime Minister what he did for London as Mayor has its downsides. In the early hours of last Saturday, Scotland Yard apprehended two men on suspicion of attempted burglary after they tried to climb up scaffolding to get into the Parliamentary Estate. Their chosen getaway vehicles? Boris Bikes. 

In the early hours of last Saturday, Scotland Yard apprehended two men on suspicion of attempted burglary after they tried to climb up scaffolding to get into the Parliamentary Estate

Cabinet Ministers facing the chop by Boris Johnson are wasting no time in racking up Government air miles, with Northern Ireland Secretary Karen Bradley off on five-day trip to America, Education Secretary Damian Hinds to France and Aid Secretary Rory Stewart fitting in Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Africa in a week. ‘It’s the Cabinet equivalent of lastminute.com,’ smirked one mandarin. 

The Tory leadership polls may be tightening, but punters still reckon the race to be the next PM is a done deal. A total of £12 million has been bet on Boris to win on the Betfair Exchange, compared to a paltry £780,000 on rival Jeremy Hunt. Dog hears that the biggest single Bojo bet so far was £33,000 at 1/10, while the bravest punter for Hunt could manage only £9,200. 

One is a laughable comedy character…

Jeremy Hunt

Arnold Rimmer from TV sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf

The Johnson camp mock Hunt, left, by pointing out his resemblance to Arnold Rimmer from TV sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf, the character played by Chris Barrie with a ‘H’ for hologram on his forehead

The Johnson camp mock Hunt, left, by pointing out his resemblance to Arnold Rimmer from TV sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf, the character played by Chris Barrie with a ‘H’ for hologram on his forehead and a comically self-centred personality. Mind you, Rimmer is hardly alone in that respect, is he, Boris?

As if to show how Theresa May’s power is quickly ebbing away, her official RAF Voyager bound for the G20 in Japan was forced to wait at Heathrow as a dozen commercial jets took off before it – including a little FlyBe plane. ‘Mind you, in a few weeks, we’ll all be on a budget airline,’ sighed one No 10 insider.

 He’s nobody’s poodle

After Theresa May’s glacial meeting with Vladimir Putin at the G20 in Japan, former Home Secretary David Blunkett recalled his encounter with the Russian president in 2003, in the presence of the Queen. He had to apologise when his guide dog barked ‘very loudly’ at Putin. ‘Dogs have interesting instincts, don’t they?’ was Her Majesty’s less than inscrutable reply.

Colleagues scornful of Labour MP Chris Bryant’s hopes of taking the Speaker’s chair snipe that the ex-vicar has more chance of becoming the Speaker’s Chaplain, a post just made vacant by Rev Rose Hudson-Wilkin. Dog would caution Bryant baiters that, ten years ago, John Bercow’s own Speakership ambitions were also mercilessly mocked…

Sports Minister Mims Davies gets all the glamorous gigs – recently revealing that she met with the UK Men’s Sheds Association to discuss loneliness policy. As a prominent backer of Sajid Javid’s failed Tory leadership campaign, Mims would know all about social isolation.

 

 

 

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