A mother-of-three who was raped by her long-term partner while she slept has described her horrific ordeal and said she was ‘physically abused every day’.
Rebecca Bellenie, 33, has waived her anonymity to speak out after her abusive ex-boyfriend Neil Parrish, also 33, was jailed for 11 years after raping her multiple times.
Miss Bellenie, from Chelmsford, Essex, started a relationship with Parrish in May 2010 and said that she instantly fell in love with him.
He was diagnosed with cancer but she said things rapidly changed when he received the all-clear and started ‘going out on the lash’ and ‘taking cocaine’.
Rebecca Bellenie, 33, has waived her anonymity to speak out after her abusive ex-boyfriend Neil Parrish, also 33, was jailed for 11 years
Speaking from her mother’s home in Great Baddow, Essex, where she is currently living before she is rehoused, she said that ‘rape became the norm’.
She said: ‘Rape and abuse became the norm. We met through mutual friends at the end of 2009. It wasn’t until May 2010 that we got together.
‘He had cancer – when he moved in I became the carer for everyone.’
Miss Bellenie, who has a six-year-old daughter with Parrish, added: ‘He stayed over one night and moved in after that. I was so in love I didn’t care.’
‘It was about a year after the all-clear that he started going out on the lash, taking coke, speed and weed.
‘I did not know whether he was always like that and whether the cancer had been a mask for what he was really like.
‘I would be verbally and physically abused every day.’
Parrish’s hold over Miss Bellenie meant she would isolate herself from her friends and family, even to the extent where she would return home from work early if he asked her to.
But perhaps most sickening of all was her account of how he would force her to perform sex acts on him.
He would demand that she would come to the bedroom via text and email and would even use it as a form of punishment.
She said: ‘He would do it to me if I hadn’t done the washing up, if I had spoken to him funny or if I rolled my eyes at him. I would sob and I would tell him I didn’t want to.
‘I cried during it – after he would say “good girl”. If I came in the room and didn’t do something right he would tell me to go out and come in again.’
Miss Bellenie started a relationship with Parrish (pictured together) in May 2010 and said that she instantly fell in love with him
Her difficult living situation was compounded by the fact that her three children saw the abuse she was receiving first hand.
She said: ‘I felt trapped even though I knew my family would support me. I didn’t want to bring other people into it.
‘Our daughter told the police about him spitting and hitting me – she saw it all the time.’
Miss Bellenie had finally had enough and left Parrish on April 27 – he was arrested in the early hours of the following day.
She said: ‘People asked me what had happened on the day to make me finally leave him but nothing major had happened. I had just had enough.
‘I was hysterical in my police interview. I did not go into the police station for him to be arrested, I just wanted him to be aware that the police knew about it.
‘I kept saying that he would kill me if I got him arrested and I didn’t actually think what he had done was that bad.
‘Watching it back now, I feel like I’m watching a documentary – I am a lot different now.
Neil Parrish (pictured) was jailed for 11 years
‘The officers interviewing me told me this was one of the worst cases they had seen – I didn’t believe them.’
Last Friday, she watched as Parrish was sent down for his crimes at Chelmsford Crown Court.
She said: ‘The minute he was remanded and refused bail I got my life back – I had no emotion when I watched him sentenced in court. It did not bother me.
‘But in terms of the future, I will never put it behind me – he has affected me and my children so much.
‘All that our daughter knows is that he’s gone away for being naughty and for spitting at me and hitting me – I am going to keep the newspaper clippings and tell her the whole truth when she is older.
‘As for my middle son, he is not sleeping well and is missing school. We all have flashbacks – we remember things that were happening a year ago today say if he had hit me.’
Miss Bellenie hopes that by sharing her story she can raise awareness of the issue with domestic abuse and rape.
She said: ‘I hope this shows people that rape does go on in a relationship.
‘The fact that he was found guilty of rape especially when I was sleeping as it was just my word against his shows that they can go down for it.’
Parrish, of Chelmsford, Essex, was found guilty of three counts of rape, one count of affray and one account of assault by beating by a jury.
He was acquitted of four separate counts of rape, one count of sexual assault by penetration, one count of assault by beating and one count of engaging in controlling or coercive behaviour.
He admitted one count of threatening to damage or destroy property.
One count of rape and one count of assault by penetration will remain on his file.
He was also slapped with a restraining order and will be on the Sexual Offenders Register for the rest of his life.