A bride-to-be has revealed her friend has put her in a difficult situation by refusing to cover the swastika tattoo she was ‘forced’ into getting in prison because it will be ‘too hot to hide’ at her summer wedding.
Reddit user panorama_bride shared her conundrum on the ‘AmITheA**hole’ subreddit, saying that while she knows her story ‘sounds fake,’ it’s a real problem, and she doesn’t know what to do.
The 23-year-old explained her father runs a program that offers support and resources to people who have just come out of prison, through which she met Anna three years ago.
Conundrum: A Reddit user wants to know if she’s wrong to ask her friend to cover up her swastika prison tattoo for her summer wedding (Stock Image)
The woman said the now-25-year-old was just 18 when she was put in prison for drug charges and was ‘pushed around a lot’ because she was so young.
‘She was basically forced into a prison tattoo of a swastika, because a group of women were threatening her life if she didn’t,’ the Reddit user wrote. ‘I believe her story is true and have no reason to doubt her.’
‘Anna has struggled since getting out of prison and simply does not have the money to cover the tattoo, nor does she know what she would cover it with,’ she added. ‘It is right on her chest, so is hard to hide.
‘I know she is embarrassed about the tattoo and she hides it with sweaters and high neck shirts. I’ve seen her try to cover it with makeup, but you can still see it.’
The bride said when she announced her wedding, Anna came up to her and told ‘it would probably be the only time she would have the tattoo visible’ because ‘it will be too hot to hide’ at the wedding, which is taking place in the summer of 2020.
‘I didn’t really know what to say at the time,’ she admitted. ‘It’s going to be a large wedding. I can safely assume there will be some people offended by it. (I mean, it makes me feel a bit sick but I try to look past it.)’
To the rescue: Commmenters suggested that the woman get her friend special makeup or a halter dress to cover up the hateful tattoo on her big day
‘I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her feel more ashamed than she is,’ she explained, ‘but I also (selfishly) don’t want this to be the focus of the wedding, or for any guests to be offended.’
The bride said she has been considering making Anna a member of her bridal party just so she can pick out a dress that will cover it up. She stressed that her friend is a ‘good person now,’ and she doesn’t want to hurt her.
‘My brother, when I told him, said that if she had a giant distracting birth mark, I wouldn’t expect her to cover it, so why would I expect her to with this,’ she recounted.
‘I feel awful and am genuinely conflicted. I don’t want to body shame her but also can’t have that at my wedding.’
A majority of commenters insisted that the woman could not let Anna show up at her wedding with such a hateful symbol visible on her chest, and one even went as far as calling her brother a ‘moron’ for comparing the tattoo to a birthmark.
‘Your brother’s comparison isn’t valid. A birthmark can be distracting but a swastika will offend others and has a lot of meaning attached to it,’ someone else wrote. ‘Can you offer to help with the cost of a cover up tattoo?’
Many other people pointed out there is plenty of makeup on the market that is thick enough to cover a tattoo or halter style dresses that will keep it hidden.
For real? Many people were shocked that the woman’s friend would be willing to attend a wedding with such an offensive tattoo on display
‘There are foundations that are made specifically to cover tattoos,’ one person commented. ‘The most inoffensive way to handle this may be to purchase some and gift it to her while saying that you want her to be comfortable at your wedding and you’d hate for someone to get the wrong idea for someone you care so much about.’
Others were stunned that Anna was even considering showing up at a wedding with her swastika tattoo on display.
‘If she had any compassion for the people she’s offending she would work harder to cover it,’ one Reddit user noted. ‘A short sleeveless dress is really not that much hotter than a short sleeveless dress with a plunging neckline. I would rather wear a frickin snow suit than go out in public with a swastika.’
One person wondered if Anna told the woman this far in advance as a way to manipulate her into paying for makeup or tattoo removal.
‘I see many replies telling OP to help her find services or buy makeup for her but I feel that isn’t OP’s responsibility,’ she person wrote. ‘Anna needs to learn to do this for herself and that sometimes doing something or, as in this case, not doing something has consequences.’
The Reddit user further explained her situation in the comments section, saying her brother said what he did because he struggled with self-harm and eating disorders in the past and is now a ‘huge believer in body confidence.’
He has been spending a lot of time with Anna, and the bride thinks his opinions are rubbing off on her. She also noted that Anna tends to get heatstroke and is likely sick of covering herself up in the summer.
‘My fiance thinks that Anna should cover the tattoo for the wedding,’ she added. ‘He is less concerned with what people will be saying if she didn’t, but he wants it covered for the sake of us having a good, drama-free day.’