Brittani Boren Leach has opened up about her family’s ‘bittersweet’ move out of the only home her late son Crew ever knew.
Nearly three months after her baby boy’s death, the 29-year-old YouTube star shared an emotional video documenting her final hours in the house that her youngest son spent the first three months of his short life.
‘I can’t believe we are actually moving today,’ she says at the start of the 15-minute clip. ‘It’s so bittersweet. There really are no true words to describe how I feel. I am excited. I am sad. It still doesn’t feel real.’
Heartbreak: YouTuber Brittani Boren Leach, 29, shared a video of her family’s final day in their old home, saying the move is ‘bittersweet’ for them
Hard to leave: The mom broke down in tears as she explained it is the only home her late son Crew ever knew
Loss: Brittani’s three-month-old son Crew died in late December after being found unresponsive on Christmas Day
Brittani and her husband Jeff are parents to sons Cooper and Cash as well as her son Carter and his daughter Sydney from their previous relationships.
The family lived in the house for nearly three years, and it was where they brought home Cash and Crew after they were born.
In the video, Brittani documents packing up the last of their stuff before their final walk-through.
‘I have been crying, if you can see,’ she says. ‘I look like I’ve had a hard day and I have.’
Although they managed to get everything packed up by 5:00 p.m. with a half-hour to spare, she admits to having a harder time with the move than she thought she would.
Memories: The family lived in the house for nearly three years, and it was where she and her husband Jeff brought home their sons Cash and Crew after they were born
Getting ready to go: Brittany and Jeff’s children were excited for the move
Getting ready: As part of the video, Brittani documented the last few hours they spent packing up their home
‘I’ve cried a few times today. I stopped mid-Swiffering and just broke down. I tried to hide in a separate room. I cried on my way here,’ she continues.
‘Just knowing its probably the last time that we are going to drive over here still owning this house … this is where we brought Crew home. And this is where Crew spent his first and his last Christmas.’
The three-month-old baby boy was found not breathing at a relative’s house on Christmas Day.
Crew was eventually resuscitated, but ended up brain dead, leaving Brittani and Jeff with the difficult choice of turning off his life support and donating his organs.
The YouTuber says that even though she knows moving into a bigger house is the right thing for her family to do, ‘that doesn’t make it any less difficult.’
Empty: Brittani also shared footage of Crew’s empty nursery before their move
Romantic gesture: At the end of the video, Brittani’s husband Jeff can be seen carrying her across the threshold of their new home
Blended family: Brittani and Jeff are parents to sons Cooper and Cash as well as her son Carter and his daughter Sydney from their previous relationshi
As part of the video, Brittani shares clips of baby Crew in their home as well as footage of his empty nursery before their move.
‘We are so excited about the move tomorrow, but this definitely closes a bit of a chapter for our family,’ she says.
The video then picks up the next day after they signed off on their old home and are headed to their new one.
Jeff romantically carries her across the threshold, and they wrap their arms around each other while starring out their new kitchen window.
‘It is extremely bittersweet. Yesterday was really hard for me. Harder than I thought it was going to be, but today I am happy,’ Brittani says. ‘I am excited, and I am trying not to dwell on that part of it. I am ready to make this house our house.’
The influencer turned off the comments on the video after previously being blasted by critics for posting images of Crew’s final days before his organs were donated.
Devastating: Brittani posted images of Crew’s final days in the hospital
Loss: Crew was resuscitated after he was found not breathing, but ended up brain dead, leaving Brittani and Jeff with the difficult choice of turning off his life support
Grieving: ‘We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. This can’t be real,’ she wrote on Instagram at the time
Brittani shared a series of heartbreaking images of herself sitting alongside her tiny son while in the hospital during his final days.
She kept her followers up to date and revealed she buried Crew in a gown made from her wedding dress.
‘Oh how I wish this picture was taken today, I would give anything just to hold him this close again,’ she wrote in the caption of a sweet photo that shows her holding the child.
‘Those of you who were following me before and “knew” Crew, knew he lived in this wrap. It was his favorite place to be,’ she said.
Brittani told fans the family had decided to donate his organs, saying: ‘The pain is unbearable. I keep thinking that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don’t.’
‘We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. This can’t be real,’ she said, adding: ‘Please keep in mind that we can see your comments, questions and conversations with one another.
‘Put yourself in our shoes (which is impossible to do) and ask yourself if you’d want to read what you’re about to write or say.’