Can astro-dating really lead to true love?

I’m on a date with a man who has just given me a tub of hummus. ‘I thought you might like a gift,’ he says, smiling as if he’s just handed me a box from Cartier.

We’re at a wine bar in central London, surrounded by candles and glasses of French wines neither of us can pronounce. ‘Thank you,’ I reply, quickly hiding it away in the corner of the table so that people can’t see it.

To be fair, I did mention hummus on my Hinge profile (‘This year I really want to . . . eat hummus’). ‘Well, I thought you might appreciate it, and it reflects our age difference,’ he adds, with a smirk.

Puzzled, I look over at the tub again: it expired two weeks ago. This man is 14 years my senior, which, up until now, hasn’t been a problem. ‘It’s old like me!’ he laughs. I smile brightly and die a little inside.

As a single 28-year-old and resident sex columnist for Soho House, I’ve been on my fair share of dates, but after a difficult break-up nine months ago followed by a string of mediocre-at-best encounters, I’ve been feeling a bit hopeless about the modern dating landscape.

I’m on three different dating apps but, to be honest, I’ve come very close to giving up altogether. Before I throw in the towel, however, I have decided to try something very different to my usual swipe-by-gut-instinct tactics.

I am ‘astro-dating’ — choosing dates that are astrologically a good fit for me – which is how I come to meet Dan*. He is a Sagittarius, which — surprise, surprise — isn’t the sexiest of matches.

I’ve always been interested in astrology. I know I’m a Gemini and think I’m compatible with Aquarians and not with Scorpios (the star sign of my ex-boyfriend). But, beyond that, it’s not something I’ve taken very seriously until now.

Plenty of others do, though: the majority of dating apps now encourage you to put your star sign on your profile and, according to one astonishing study, a third of Gen-Z singletons (aged under 26) decide who to go out with based on astrology.

It has even become the subject of dating shows, such as Amazon Prime’s Written In The Stars, which saw top astrologers match single strangers based on their zodiac signs.

Next up was a birth chart consultation with Yasmin Boland, astrologer and moonologer, to find out who, out of the six, Olivia would most compatible with

The first challenge, Olivia says, was finding men willing to give me their full birth chart without having ever met her. Stock image used

So could cosmic dating help me bag a date for Valentine’s?

The first challenge was finding men willing to give me their full birth chart without having ever met me. As anyone who has ever done internet dating knows, it’s hard enough to get past the swiping stage, and I admit several men ghosted me the second I mentioned star signs. Nonetheless, through a combination of ruthless flirting and the promise of free drinks, I managed to find six men who were game.

Next up was a birth chart consultation with Yasmin Boland, astrologer and moonologer, to find out who, out of the six, I’d be most compatible with. Yasmin, a best-selling author, has been an internationally successful ‘spiritual guide’ for the past two decades and focuses on helping others find their path in life, work and, crucially, love through astrological compatibility.

‘I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of people find — and keep — love,’ she says encouragingly.

For the uninitiated, a birth chart is essentially a map that uses the date, time and location of your birth to illustrate what the sky looked like at that precise moment. It will reveal your sun sign (this is the one you’ll know from your horoscope) and also your ‘rising’ and ‘moon’ signs.

Olivia went on dates with a Scorpio, Aries and Sagittarius based off an astrology expert’s advice 

Generally speaking, the sun sign represents our core self, while the rising sign is your external self that you present to the world, and the moon is your emotional self. The idea is that we all borrow parts of who we are from different signs; it’s what makes all of us so unique.

I already knew I was a Gemini (my sun sign) but Yasmin explains that I am also a Leo rising and a Scorpio moon. The latter means I ‘get very attached to people quite quickly’, she says. ‘In love, you feel very deeply, which can be a good and bad thing.’ The Leo rising simply means I like people to notice me. This seems accurate so far.

As for specific types of men I should date, Yasmin says I would suit someone who is ‘a bit quirky and unusual’. ‘Possibly someone who works in science or research. But because your Venus is in Cancer, you also need someone who is going to be kind to you.

‘Even though you have this chutzpah when you’re at work or in social occasions, you’re very sensitive in relationships, so you need someone who can accommodate that.’

Finally, Yasmin explains that I may have a tendency to fear falling in love because of where Venus is positioned in my chart. ‘You need to be careful you don’t sabotage relationships out of nerves or anxiety,’ she adds.

The writer had felt a spark with her Scorpio date, as well as enjoying a deeper connection wit the Aries

All of this feels scarily on the button. If I’m honest, while I may say I have zero interest in dating right now, I suspect I’m just terrified of having my heart broken again.

And so it was with the utmost trust that I allowed Yasmin to select three men for me to date from the six who had agreed to my little experiment based on our star sign compatibility. Thankfully, there were some clear stand-outs: a carpenter from Hackney in East London (Scorpio), a musician from Glasgow (Aries), and an actor from Morden in South London (the aforementioned Sagittarius).

First up was Mr Scorpio; let’s call him Adam. I was hesitant because of my ex, but, according to Yasmin, Adam and I had potential. ‘Your Mars is in Taurus and his Venus is in Scorpio right opposite,’ she says, looking at both our respective birth charts. ‘That means you’ll have quite a lot of compatibility and there’s a lot of room for passion, too. There’s a little bit of fire here, though. An electricity thing that could get a bit too intense at times. But it could also be a really hot thing.’

In theory, all this should have made me excited for the date but in reality it just made me incredibly nervous. The usual fears ran through my head — what if he looks nothing like his photos? Will we run out of things to say to each other? What if he’s desperately dull?

Nonetheless, I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived to find that Adam did indeed look like his photos: in fact, he looked even better. And he wasn’t remotely dull.

Olivia, herself a Gemini, consulted an astrology expert for advice on how she should best approach love

My nerves took a while (or two Negronis) to dissipate. But once they had, conversation flowed and we spoke at length about our respective careers and upbringing.

It wasn’t until the end of the date that I felt the spark Yasmin had prepped me for. We said goodbye on the street as I was waiting for my Uber home and, out of nowhere, Mr Scorpio kissed me. The noise of the night seemed to fade out as the moment took hold. The electricity was there. It was unmistakable.

Next up is Mr Aries. ‘He’s either going to depress you or it’s going to be a lifelong thing,’ says Yasmin when she compares our birth charts. ‘You’ll have the least sexual chemistry with this one because you don’t have the Venus or Mars connection. You can definitely get on and become attached to each other, but I’m not sure there’s romance here.’

I meet Mr Aries at a restaurant in Peckham, South London. It transpires we have a lot of shared interests — music, film and even some mutual friends. We chat for hours, laughing, sharing small plates and trying each other’s glasses of wine.

I can see what Yasmin meant when she said this could be something long-term. There’s definitely something deeper going on here that I didn’t necessarily feel on my first, fiery date. But what exactly that looks like in terms of a possible relationship, I’m not entirely sure. Talking to Mr Aries just feels very easy, which is what it should feel like, isn’t it? I don’t feel on edge, or worried about what I’m saying or doing. This makes me realise how much more self-conscious I’d been on the previous date.

The writer explains she didn’t feel a romantic spark with the Sagittarius she had gone on a date with

We kiss goodbye; it’s different to my smooch with Mr Scorpio in a way I can’t quite put my finger on. Perhaps it’s more rushed as his taxi is waiting for him.

Then it’s time for my final date with Dan, aka Mr Sagittarius. ‘There’s nothing wrong with him,’ says Yasmin, when looking at our charts.

‘But there isn’t that fire connection like you had with the Scorpio, or the long-lasting attachment you had with the Aries.

‘I feel like you have a great basis for friendship and nothing much beyond that. He could be good for your career, but I don’t think you should worry too much if nothing romantic happens with this one. It’s not like you’re going to be missing out on the love of your life here.’

However, given that friendship can form the basis for a great relationship, it was still worth meeting him, we agree. To be honest, it isn’t just the hummus gag that makes me realise quite quickly after meeting him that we’re only ever going to have a platonic connection.

It’s easy to talk to him: he’s funny, self-deprecating and interested in what I do. But at no point do I imagine what it would be like to kiss him, which is a pretty solid sign I’m not interested.

After a few hours, we call it a night and say goodbye without so much as a peck on the cheek. I haven’t heard from him since, either, so I suspect he felt the same.

Reflecting on all three dates, Yasmin’s predictions were almost entirely correct. I find it spookily accurate, and it has convinced me of the validity of astrology.

And I’m feeling positive that there’s some promise for my romantic future too. Not with hummus man, obviously, but I’ve arranged to see hot Mr Scorpio and sweet Mr Aries again to see how things pan out — fingers crossed there may be stars in my eyes this Valentine’s after all.

* names have been changed.

NOW FIND YOUR OWN MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN…

FIRST DO THEIR CHART

To discover your Valentine’s rising and moon signs, simply Google ‘birth chart’ or visit Yasmin’s website moonmessages.com/freechart for a free one. You need to know the date, time and location of your birth as precisely as possible.

Your rising sign is the constellation of the zodiac that was coming up over the eastern horizon at the moment you were born, in the place you were born.

DO I SWIPE RIGHT?

When people first learn about astrology, they’re often curious to know who they are compatible with. We are all a lot more than just our star sign.

However, when you first meet someone, knowing their sign can give you a rough idea of how well you’re going to click. If you have clashing star signs but his Mars is in your Venus, you’re off and running towards romance, so try to take in the whole chart.

To discover your Valentine’s rising and moon signs, simply Google ‘birth chart’ or visit Yasmin’s website moonmessages.com/freechart for a free one

As a general rule of thumb, we can look to the elements and say: Fire sign people go especially well with Air sign people, Water sign people go especially well with Earth sign people.

Fire signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. Air signs are Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Water signs are Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. Earth signs are Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.

There can be other factors that change everything. For example, if you’re an Aries but you have your love planet Venus in Taurus, you will probably get on a lot better with Taureans than you might expect. So don’t rule someone out just because their element doesn’t match yours.

PLANET GAZE

Even amateur astrologers can go beyond basic compatibility tests. Start by looking at their moon and yours, their Venus and yours, their Mars and yours. Your moon sign is all about what you need, what feeds you emotionally and how you are on a ‘feelings’ level. We can apply the elements rule.

If you have your moon in a water sign, the chances are you’re going to get on well or click emotionally with someone who has their moon sign in earth, for example.

If your moon is fire, you’ll gel with a moon in air, emotionally at least. This is a simplified explanation but it’s enough to be getting on with.

ARE YOU HIS VENUS?

It’s also worth looking at your Venus sign.

Venus is the planet of love, so whichever sign Venus is in for you says a lot about who you’re likely to fall in love with.

Once again, you can look at the signs — fire, air, earth or water — that your Venus sign is in, compared with the sign your beloved’s Venus is in and see if they are compatible. Compatible Venus signs will at least usually lead to friendship.

HEAD TO MARS

But love and romance takes more than just friendly feelings, right? Which is why it also helps to have a look at your Mars placement, which symbolises sex and drive.

If their Venus and your Mars are in compatible signs, then you’re really on the right track for a passionate encounter.

It does go far beyond this. For example, if his Saturn is on your Venus, then it could be quite a challenging relationship whereas if her Jupiter is on your Mars, that could spell a lot of excitement in the bedroom.

But as a general rule, if you can understand the elements and see what matches or doesn’t match in your personal horoscopes, you should have an idea of who is going to be a good match for you.