Peugeot 308 GTi
(to drive)
Rating: 
(to look at)
Why are we here? What is our purpose? How can we best make use of each minute of every day?
How about we start with: trying to be better than we were yesterday, and then tomorrow trying to be even better than we are today? As a plan, I like that. It makes sense. It instantly improves self-esteem and is eminently achievable.
Last year I banged on about a book called Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari. I then banged on some more about his follow-up, Homo Deus. The former continues to top the bestseller lists, with the latter permanently breathing down its neck. I’m glad. They’re both hugely important.
But now I have a new literary challenge for you: everyone must read 12 Rules For Life, by Jordan B. Peterson. He’s the guy who came up with the ‘Be better today than yesterday’ axiom. It is the most enlightening book I have read in ages. Don’t think about it. Don’t worry about it. Google him if you like, if it makes you feel better. It will, by the way. His YouTube lectures are amazing for all sorts of reasons. But get the book, that is the most important thing. And then read it. And then pass it on to a friend, or even better, an enemy.
Sure, it’s pleasant enough, both inside and out, but the last time I checked, that’s not what the hot-hatch massive are after
One of my favourite bits is when Peterson (via Nietzsche) suggests the New Testament could be interpreted as a fanciful Mills & Boon trading off the back of the dark, ominous masterpiece that is the Old Testament. I haven’t read either, but that makes me want to read both.
Something similar has been going on in the car world for a good while now. This week it’s Peugeot’s turn again to hark back to the past in the hope of getting us to sign on the dotted line today.
Of course, nostalgia can be a hugely powerful psychological tool, provided you’ve identified exactly who your new car is aimed at. Take the current raft of Ford Mustangs, for example. I see more middle-aged men driving them than affluent bright young things, a second-time-lucky car for those of us who couldn’t afford such dream wheels first time around.
The kiddy-sized steering wheel, a needless eccentricity that will surely serve as a deal-breaker for some. That said, the steering itself is as sharp as a tack, as is the throttle response
This new 308 GTi, on the other hand, has a semi-retro interior with pseudo-vintage black Alcantara and ‘leather’ seat trims with red stitching. Which is gorgeous, but only makes sense if you were at the same party back in the late 1980s or early 1990s. Which I’m not sure anyone currently in the market for a rabid hot hatch such as this would have been.
Unlike the reborn Mustangs and Fiat 500s of this world, the exterior of the 308 GTi resembles nothing classic whatsoever. Which would be perfectly fine, except nor does it resemble anything contemporarily sporty either. In fact, I’m duty bound to inform you that for the whole time I had it, not once did anybody give it so much as a fleeting glance. Unheard of for a spanking new hot hatch.
Probably because, with the exception of the meaty bum, along with a rather marvellous brace of quite serious-looking tailpipes, it’s just so plain-looking. Sure, it’s pleasant enough, both inside and out, but the last time I checked, that’s not what the hot-hatch massive are after.
A state of affairs that makes even less sense when it comes to driving the damn thing. Because this car, as a set of wheels, is absolutely fantastic. There are only two driving modes (thank God): Normal, which translates to ‘a right handful’, and Sport, which translates to ‘properly bonkers’, thanks to the most powerful 1.6-litre turbocharged engine ever to grace the market. A fizzing frenzy of torque-steer-tastic front-wheel drive with 270hp and 330Nm of grunt and an official 0-60mph time of six seconds. Although it feels much quicker than that with all the attendant bucking and kicking one has to contend with when undertaking such real-time ‘research’.
But, again, there is conflict, this time in the cockpit. The two rather superb racing-style front seats are top-notch, big, stylish, and supportive (though regrettably, not heated), whereas space in the back is tight, even for little people. There is also the issue of the kiddy-sized steering wheel, a needless eccentricity that will surely serve as a deal-breaker for some. That said, the steering itself is as sharp as a tack, as is the throttle response. While the brakes are nicely weighted, with heaps of feel considering the recalcitrant child they have been charged with keeping under control. (NB: Brake replacement may well become a regular feature of future service invoices.)
This really is a machine caught up in a full-on identity crisis. It could not be any more exciting to drive, yet, from a distance, it could easily be confused for a budget hire ca
With boost and power at their peak, excitement comes at a price, mostly physical. Calling all osteopaths! The ride quality in both driving modes may be a bit too firm for some, regardless of whether you have the pedal all the way to the metal or not. In Sport mode, through hard cornering, you can literally feel your internal organs vying to annihilate each other.
Other potential red flags on my list include the touchscreen with its dated graphics, old but not in a cool way. Plus, the touchscreen functions themselves are fiddly and imprecise at normal speeds, let alone when the car is at full tilt.
This really is a machine caught up in a full-on identity crisis. It could not be any more exciting to drive, yet, from a distance, it could easily be confused for a budget hire car.
I can only conclude, therefore, that the new 308 GTi is aimed at forty-to fiftysomethings who secretly like to go crazy without anyone even suspecting what they might be up to. In which case, it makes perfect sense.