Actress Chloe Dykstra penned a long and emotional essay on Thursday accusing an ex-boyfriend of ‘long-term’ abuse and then blacklisting her after she ended the relationship.
Dykstra wrote the essay, titled Rose-Colored Glasses:A Confession, on the site Medium.
Even though the 29-year-old actress and host didn’t name her ex, several details she described in the piece suggests she is referring to Talking Dead host Chris Hardwick, 46.
Actress Chloe Dykstra, 29, penned an essay Thursday accusing an ex-boyfriend 20 years older than her of ‘long-term abuse’
![Chloe Dykstra](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/15/20/4D479E7A00000578-0-image-a-98_1529090334737.jpg)
![Chloe Dykstra](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/15/20/4D479E7000000578-0-image-m-97_1529090320303.jpg)
Dykstra said said she lost 15 pounds in a week because of the stress of the relationship and battled anorexia. The picture on the left is a ‘progress shot’ she shared in her essay detailing the abuse while the picture on the right is from June 14, 2018
Hardwick and Dykstra split in 2014 after three years of dating. They each announced their breakup in similar tweets. Hardwick has not responded to the allegations by Dykstra.
In the post, the Just Cos host says she has attempted to share her story more than a dozen times but was fearful about putting her ‘personal and professional reputation on the line’.
‘Admittedly, there’s still an anger inside of me. An anger at him, an anger at myself for letting myself fall into the trap and being naive enough to stay there,’ she wrote.
Dykstra said she experienced ‘long-term abuse’ by her ex-boyfriend, who she said is 20 years older her. The actress wrote that she met him at a convention when she was in her early 20s.
Dykstra wrote that the relationship ‘started out poorly’ and within in the first two weeks of them dating he had given her a set of rules she had to follow.
Some of them included her reserving her nights for her ex. Dykstra said because he had a busy schedule, she rarely saw her friends.
‘I was to not have close male friends unless we worked together. All photos of male friends were to be removed from my apartment. This was heartbreaking for me, as my best friend happened to be male,’ she wrote about rule No. 2.
Dykstra also said she was also not allowed to have alcohol, because he was sober. Hardwick has often discussed his struggles with alcohol addiction.
‘Before we began dating he said, ‘I noticed you have a glass of wine with dinner. That’s going to stop,’ she wrote.
According to the actress, other rules included not speaking in public places because he thought ‘people recognized him and were listening to our conversations.’
‘Our dinners out were usually silent, him on his phone,’ she added.
![Chris Hardwick, 46, and Dykstra dated for three years splitting in 2014 leading many to believe he is the ex she is referring to](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/15/22/4D47AC4D00000578-5849567-Chris_Hardwick_46_and_Dykstra_dated_for_three_years_splitting_in-a-2_1529096951563.jpg)
Chris Hardwick, 46, and Dykstra dated for three years splitting in 2014 leading many to believe he is the ex she is referring to
![Dykstra did not name her ex-boyfriend but took to Twitter to thank everyone for their support](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/15/20/4D47AC3B00000578-0-image-a-99_1529090339661.jpg)
Dykstra did not name her ex-boyfriend but took to Twitter to thank everyone for their support
![The actress also revealed that she considered suicide multiple times but is in a much better place now](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/15/20/4D479E8000000578-0-image-m-101_1529090362345.jpg)
The actress also revealed that she considered suicide multiple times but is in a much better place now
She also said she wasn’t allowed to take photos of them together but eventually loosened up on that rule, but always made her ask permission first.
‘These were just a few of them. And I made the choice to accept his controlling behavior, as he’d just left his long-term girlfriend and I assumed that he was going through some serious emotional discomfort. This was a huge mistake,’ she wrote.
The essay continued stating that the man would leave Dykstra in hotel rooms while he attended events and he forced her to take an on-camera job at his company. Dykstra wrote that she was against working for a significant other but she ‘scared to upset him’ so she took the position.
‘I accepted the job, but I refused payment for my work, feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing (though the lovely folks at his company eventually forced me to take a check). By this time, like I said, I was terrified to piss him off- so I did what he said,’ she posted.
Dykstra also accused her ex of sexually assaulting her on a regular basis.
‘I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work. … Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He thought the whole idea was funny,’ she wrote. ‘To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him.’
Dykstra said after three of ‘being snapped/yelled at constantly, very rarely being shown any affection’ she ended the relationship. Her ex, according to Dykstra, retaliated by blacklisting her.
![Hardwick is now married to model Lydia Hearst. He has not responded to the allegations](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/15/20/4D47AC3700000578-0-image-a-103_1529090425878.jpg)
Hardwick is now married to model Lydia Hearst. He has not responded to the allegations
‘He made calls to several companies I received regular work from to get me fired by threatening to never work with them. He succeeded. I was blacklisted,’ she wrote.
Dykstra continued saying the stress of the relationship caused her to lose 15 pounds in a week and she battled anorexia. The actress and host also said she considered suicide multiple times.
‘When cameras were on us? He was a prince. Turn them off, he was a nightmare,’ she said
Hardwick, who is now married to model and heiress Lydia Hearst, has not responded to the allegations.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Nerdist, the company Hardwick founded, removed all references to him from its website on Friday.
‘Chris Hardwick had no operational involvement with Nerdist for the two years preceding the expiration of his contract in December 2017. He no longer has any affiliation with Legendary Digital Networks. The company has removed all reference to Mr. Hardwick even as the original Founder of Nerdist pending further investigation,’ a Legendary spokesperson said.