There is a lie at the heart of the search for the perfect wedding dress. It is a lie that causes many brides-to-be weeks, sometimes months, of unnecessary stress as they try to unearth ‘the one’.
Because there is no one perfect outfit – and it’s time we all admitted it.
As I’m planning a woodland wedding for next June with my partner of ten years, part of the difficulty with finding the one is that our sense of style is forged by opposing forces and, at 30, I’ve got the matriarchs of my family to thank for that.
My nana, 83, is all pea coats, cigarette trousers and dainty cardigans, whereas my mum, 59, honed her style on the streets of London’s Camden and the King’s Road in the 1980s.
It was these two clashing matriarchs I decided to take shopping when I began the search for that elusive, perfect wedding dress.
My nana, 83, is all pea coats, cigarette trousers and dainty cardigans. Pictured: Stephanie and her nana
Stephanie’s nana in a tulle dress on her wedding day in 1960. Her nana gave her judgement on the dresses she tried on
If I don’t buy this, my mum will
Where? Temperley London, Phoenix Studios, Ilminster, Somerset; temperleylondon.com
Known for romantic styles made using artisanal techniques and featuring intricate details.
I wanted something a little bit different. Temperley’s beautiful, colourful dresses are far from traditional and definitely make a statement.
Nana wanted lace and beads galore, and if there was anywhere she’d find her dream dress it would be here. However, styles with all that detailing are too much for me as they bulk out my curves. Upon seeing the embroidered dress (opposite), she did admit it was ‘very me’.
Dress, £3,200, Temperley London
Mum wanted me to choose this embroidered dress for my big day. It was the only one that got her excited. Part of me thinks if I hadn’t tried it on, she would have.
I discovered that despite really loving this gorgeous dress, I felt worried that it didn’t look ‘bridal’ enough (after all, no one wants to blend in with their wedding guests). Shockingly, my inherited and conflicted style is slowly starting to understand what it wants and, it turns out, much to Nana’s delight, it’s a touch of classic. But where to find it?
‘Too busy!’ Says Nana
Where? Halfpenny London, 10 Woburn Walk, London WC1; halfpennylondon.com
Known for bold dresses and separates that add drama, plus multiple styling options. Think Brit cool meets playful vintage.
I wanted lots of tulle but with edge to showcase my personality – though nothing too extreme.
Dress, £5,950, Halfpenny London
Corset, £2,495, and skirt, £3,995, Halfpenny London
Nana wanted tulle, too – which she wore for her wedding, aged 21 – but she had strict rules. A tulle shrug was ‘too busy’ but a dress with tulle wing-style shoulders bigger than my head got the thumbs-up. I agreed. It was sleek, flattering and oh so different! I’ll be back to try this one on again.
Mum wanted to go off-piste with Halfpenny’s separates, picking an off-the-shoulder corset top with a densely ruffled skirt (above). I think she was going for a punky Vivienne Westwood vibe.
I discovered that being just five foot two means tulle isn’t always my friend and also that Nana, despite loving pretty details, draws the line at puffball skirts, saying ‘Oh gawd, no!’ when I tried one on.
Sorry, not for me
Where? The Fall, Dalston Works, Ground Floor, 9 Martel Place, London E8; thefallbride.com
Known for its mix of designers offering fresh takes on bridalwear.
I wanted a chance to play with contrasting styles and test what I thought I wanted. Like a veil, which at first I didn’t care for. But when that sheer piece of fabric was placed on my head, I felt like a princess!
Nana wanted a dress decked in intricate lacework or laden with beads. This dress elicited a very passionate response: ‘Now that’s the kind of bride I want my Stephanie to be!’ she bellowed, all teary. I loved how excited she got at finding the dress she wanted me to wear, but the look was not for me.
Dress, £2,150, and skirt, £1,375, Jessica Bennett, and veil, £200, AM Faulkner, from The Fall
Dress, £3,700, Prea James, and veil, £150, AM Faulkner, from The Fall
Mum wanted me to try on a column dress with a huge, detachable skirt and pockets (above) – it was a game-changer. Swishing around with my hands in those pockets I looked like a totally different version of myself.
I discovered you do yourself a disservice when you write off a style of dress without trying it. However, while I loved the column dress I was worried that it would suit a city wedding rather than my woodland one.
Have I found the one?
Where? The Own Studio, 374-378 Old Street, London EC1; theownstudio.com
Known for sleek and minimalist silhouettes.
I wanted a surprise. The Own Studio’s contemporary twist on classics piqued my interest.
Dress, £1,650, and cape, £600, The Own Studio
Nana wanted way more drama! ‘What’s the point in these boring, plain dresses?’ she asked.
Mum wanted to leave – until the stylist pulled out a cape. Paired with a slip dress, it added an ethereal touch that would work perfectly with our woodland wedding. Mum stared at me with a glint in her eyes that said: ‘Could this be the one?’
I discovered that capes aren’t just for superheroes, but brides, too! In fact one may end up being my big-day secret weapon.
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