Dating coach Louanne Ward shares lessons we can learn about love from reality TV like The Bachelor

A relationship expert and dating coach has shared the lessons we can learn about love from popular reality TV shows like Love Island and The Bachelor.

Louanne Ward, from Perth, said on a psychological level, it’s in no way unusual to be collectively fascinated by the pursuit and attainment of love.

But there are lessons shows like Farmer Wants A Wife and Married At First Sight can teach us too.

Louanne took a look at the five most popular reality TV shows around at the moment, to reveal the lessons that we can all learn from such addictive TV.

A relationship expert and dating coach has shared the lessons we can learn about love from popular reality TV shows like Love Island and The Bachelor (Louanne Ward pictured)

Louanne (pictured) said the principal lesson to learn from MAFS is that when it comes to finding love, there is strength in vulnerability, but you should always keep expectations low

Louanne (pictured) said the principal lesson to learn from MAFS is that when it comes to finding love, there is strength in vulnerability, but you should always keep expectations low

1. MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT

The lesson: Vulnerability is strength, but lower your expectations

The ever popular TV show Married at First Sight (or MAFS) does exactly what it says on the tin: puts a ring on the fingers of two strangers, coupled based on their ‘scientific compatibility’ and lets them live out the intricacies of a relationship.

The program has become one of the most popular reality shows in Australia and around the world, thanks to its creative premise and often addictive fallouts.

Louanne said the principal lesson to learn from MAFS is that when it comes to finding love, there is strength in vulnerability, but you should always keep your expectations low.

‘Although many of us would be shaken by the idea of marrying a stranger, these dating hopefuls place their trust in matchmakers like me, for the chance of finding that lifelong love,’ Louanne told FEMAIL.

‘But that doesn’t mean they’re not entering the experiment with some hardline expectations that often lead to one thing: disappointment.’

While we all have a ‘type’, Louanne added, and there is nothing wrong with that, she said we shouldn’t expect a stranger to fit every one of our criteria as it could leave us ‘undeservedly resentful’ towards them.  

As The Bachelor reaches its season finale, Louanne said there are many lessons to learn from the show that centres around one 'hot bachelor' and countless single women (pictured)

As The Bachelor reaches its season finale, Louanne said there are many lessons to learn from the show that centres around one ‘hot bachelor’ and countless single women (pictured)

Competing against other singles can bring out competitiveness, but it's important to focus on your own connection with someone, not everything else (Bachelor pictured)

Competing against other singles can bring out competitiveness, but it’s important to focus on your own connection with someone, not everything else (Bachelor pictured)

2. THE BACHELOR

The lesson: Other singles aren’t your enemies, but put your feelings first

As The Bachelor reaches its season finale, Louanne said there are many lessons to learn from the show that centres around one ‘hot bachelor’ and countless single women vying for his attention.

‘It’s no surprise that competing against 20 plus singles can bring out contestants’ competitive side, but whether it’s on-screen or in real life, no one is your enemy in the dating stakes,’ the relationship expert explained.

‘From swiping the apps to speed dating, frequently checking your new flame’s Instagram likes or worrying about who they’re chatting to, focusing on your own connection is always more likely to yield a positive outcome.’ 

Louanne said it’s important to try as much as possible to get to know someone before you rush to judge or stalk them, as this can ‘ultimately build a stronger bond in the long run’.

Louanne said that Love Island (pictured) teaches us that despite the attractiveness of some people, it's true love that runs the deepest - and other motives will soon be found out

Louanne said that Love Island (pictured) teaches us that despite the attractiveness of some people, it’s true love that runs the deepest – and other motives will soon be found out

3. LOVE ISLAND

The lesson: Good looks, sex and money aren’t everything

Of all of the reality shows, Love Island boasts one of the most irresistible formulas. 

Some 14 singles, dubbed ‘Islanders’, enter a villa, and to avoid elimination they must remain coupled up, with the ultimate goal to win $50,000. 

‘No matter how attractive, desirable, or enticing the looks, fame and money that form the premise of Love Island may be, this show teaches us that true love goes deeper,’ Loaunne said. 

‘It’s clear to see why only a few relationships from the show survive, as motives become clearer as the season progresses.’

The dating coach added: ‘From growing social media followings to a huge cash injection, dating in real life may not be so alluring, but the show serves as a reminder that love is about connection, vulnerability and companionship.

‘Looks fade, tough times come, but real love goes beyond the surface.’

'It may seem obvious, but a clear takeaway from Beauty and the Geek is to never judge a book by its cover,' Louanne said (Beauty and the Geek pictured)

‘It may seem obvious, but a clear takeaway from Beauty and the Geek is to never judge a book by its cover,’ Louanne said (Beauty and the Geek pictured)

4. BEAUTY AND THE GEEK

The lesson: Letting your guard down can let you form unexpected bonds  

In the ultimate experiment to find out if opposites really do attract, 10 beautiful women are coupled with 10 intelligent men in order to find unexpected commonalities and friendship. 

Pairing brains with beauties, the contestants compete in wild challenges and funny activities, with the winning couple claiming a prize of $100,000. 

‘It may seem obvious, but a clear takeaway from Beauty and the Geek is to never judge a book by its cover,’ Louanne said.

‘Being open-minded and letting go of ideals we may have about our “perfect match’ or “must haves” in a partner can allow us to open our hearts and minds to connecting with someone we would never normally approach.’ 

She added that letting your guard down in a relationship can often lead you to finding an unexpected bond.

'Just like Beauty and the Geek, Farmer Wants a Wife shows us opposites can and do attract,' Louanne said (Farmer Wants a Wife pictured)

‘Just like Beauty and the Geek, Farmer Wants a Wife shows us opposites can and do attract,’ Louanne said (Farmer Wants a Wife pictured)

5. FARMER WANTS A WIFE

The lesson: A change of scenery can deepen the bond

Finally, in Farmer Wants A Wife, five Australian farmers seek to find love in a lineup of city girls wanting a taste of the simpler life.

Louanne explained that the show ‘follows the evolution of the farmers raised as country guys with their uncomplicated lifestyles and relationship needs, before they are matched with their respective bachelorettes’. 

‘Just like Beauty and the Geek, Farmer Wants a Wife shows us opposites can and do attract,’ Louanne said.

‘As city girls adapt to country life, both the farmers and bachelorettes learn to accept and embrace their differences. 

‘Outside reality TV, this teaches us that while common values can be crucial, opposing interests, perspectives, jobs and lifestyles offer a fresh perspective.’

The dating coach said that experiencing new locations, finding new hobbies and opening up to those who are different to our usual type offers the opportunity to positively grow as a ‘well-rounded individual in the relationship’.

‘Having complementary similarities and differences allows for fulfilling each other’s voids,’ she added. 

For more information about Louanne Ward, you can visit her website here

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