Passing gas in front of other people can be a gamble — and most people wouldn’t dare let one loose unless they knew they could silently sneak it by unnoticed.
But since deaf people can’t actually hear the gusts emanating from their guts, how do they know for sure that no one heard them toot their own horns, so to speak?
They don’t — at least, not usually. In a recent Reddit thread, several deaf Redditors (and family members of deaf people) shared their funny, embarrassing, and enlightening stories about what it’s like to have flatulence when you can’t hear it.
Let ‘er rip! A recent Reddit thread was filled with stories about deaf people passing gas. Some admitted they didn’t know flatulence made noise for a long time
Most of the deaf people who chimed in agreed that that they can’t possibly know if others can hear them breaking wind — but some found out the hard way.
‘I have severe hearing loss,’ explained one person. ‘I finally got hearing aids and realized that many of those “silent but deadlies” were just deadly.’
What’s more, he said, his family never clued him in, assuming he knew and simply didn’t care.
‘I honestly didn’t know it made a sound until I was about 9,’ wrote someone else. ‘When my 7 year old brother told me, I asked him why he didn’t tell me sooner and he said he thought I was doing it on purpose. I asked my mom and she said she didn’t want to embarrass me. Wtf man I even did it at school.’
Others said that knowing they needed to cut the cheese could be ‘scary’ and ‘terrifying’ due to this uncertainty, while at least one said he simply goes to the bathroom whenever he feels something brewing.
Quite a few people shared stories of death spouses, parents, co-workers, and friends — many of which were totally cringe-worthy.
‘A friend of mine was speaking to a work associate that is deaf. During their conversation the deaf man kept farting. Repeatedly. My friend was dying of laughter inside,’ wrote one.
‘My Dad is deaf and every summer we go group camping with many other deaf people,’ recalled another.
‘One particular year I was hanging out with my dad’s girlfriend at the time and some of her deaf friends. In the middle of the conversation she let a huge one rip! I was the only hearing one in the group and we were outdoors so really I was the only one who knew.
‘After the conversation was over she asked me if I had heard her fart and we had a pretty good laugh about it,’ she added.
Yet another wrote: ‘A friend of mine works with deaf people and says they fart all the time whenever wherever because they have no idea it makes a sound.’
One person remembered the time he took his hard-of-hearing grandmother to church and the older woman showed up with her own pew.
‘The deacon was in the middle of his sermon and my grandma lets loose,’ he wrote, recalling how her personal stink bomb ‘reverberating off the wooden pew, stone floors and walls, all the way up to heaven itself probably’.
‘The sermon stopped momentarily, the deacon’s mouth hanging open as everyone turned to look,’ he said.
‘But the deacon recovered quickly and things carried on. Later, in the car, my sister said “Grandma, what the hell was that?!” “What?” “You farted!” “Oh, I thought no one would hear.”