Divorce lawyer claims marriages in which women make more money ‘DON’T WORK’

A divorce lawyer has claimed that marriages in which women make more money than their husbands ‘don’t work’ because men ‘need to feel valued’ and it ‘upsets the natural balance’ of the relationship. 

Katie K. Leonard, 39, from Atlanta, Georgia, has worked in family law for over a decade, and in a recent TikTok video, she shared three reasons why she thinks marriages with high-earning women tend to fail. 

‘Men need to feel valued, and I think that when women earn more than men, it has a tendency to emasculate men,’ she said. ‘I think that they are ingrained within the society to think, “I have to earn. I have to provide.”

She argued that ‘men need to feel valued’ and when a woman earns more, ‘it has a tendency to emasculate men’ because ‘they’re supposed to provide’

‘Men are hunters and gatherers, and they’re supposed to provide, and I think that it kind of upsets the natural balance for the woman to be carrying that weight.’ 

Leonard argued that women already ‘carry a lot of weight in the home’ and the added financial pressure can cause ‘more resentment to build’ than it would in a reverse situation where the man is the high-income earner.   

‘A lot of times in the [marriages] that I’ve seen fail, the men tend to be very, for a lack of a better word, not motivated,’ she said. ‘They might be educated, but they don’t tend to work very hard. They don’t really seem to have a passion for anything. They tend to be lazy — sorry.’

Leonard explained that in her personal experience as a lawyer these men don’t really pull their own weight and ‘rely on the woman to run the household,’ including taking care of the bills, the finances, and their children.   

‘She’s kind of is the CEO of the household,’ she said. ‘They just don’t seem to really contribute much. It’s the opposite of a traditional stay-at-home-mom dynamic where the mom is running the household and the husband is working every day and paying for the expenses. 

‘The woman in that situation tends to do it all, and so I just think that over time it just weighs on her, and she’s just like, “I’m out here” — or the man will cheat.’

Leonard’s third reason seemed to be more of an observation than an explanation as to why these marriages rarely work.   

‘What’s really interesting about these divorces, is they tend to be the cheapest,’ she said. ‘Women who are the breadwinners, they’re protecting their money. Men do too, but not like the women do. 

‘And they tend to really push their husbands behind the scenes to settle,’ she added. ‘They tend to have to pay the entire bill, and they don’t want to pay that bill, so they keep the process really streamlined and quiet.’ 

Leonard’s video has been viewed more than 240,000 times with mixed reviews. 

‘Stopped listening after I heard “men are hunter/gatherers.” What year is it?’ one person asked, while another noted: ‘It would be nice if this was focused on “why marriages with lower earning men don’t work.”‘ 

Leonard’s video has been viewed more than 240,000 times, and while some commenters agreed with her, others insisted these relationships can work

‘I earn more than my husband and it was tough at first. The hardest part was for me making the most money (by double) but also doing chores + childcare,’ someone else explained.  

One woman opened up about her experience with dating men who made less than she did, saying ‘they always went out of their way to devalue [her] education.’

Others pointed out that there are plenty of high-earning women who have happy marriages and spouses that share the responsibility.   

‘My parents have been married 43 years and my mom ALWAYS made significantly more than my dad. Don’t give up ladies,’ one person commented. 

‘My husband and I are both hi-earners: he does the dishes, laundry and cooking. He supports my career like nobody. They exist ladies. Don’t settle,’ someone else agreed.

Another added: ‘I’m an attorney and my husband is a firefighter – I earn more. Never been a problem because we’re both passionate about our careers.’ 

Leonard went viral last week for sharing the top five professions that a woman should avoid when looking for a husband 

Leonard claimed women shouldn’t marry police officers, surgeons, firemen, pilots, or military personnel because these men tend to be ‘narcissistic’ and ‘controlling’ 

A number of people also thought Leonard’s views were biased because she is a divorce lawyer.  

‘I think you have a bias because you see the failures more,’ one TikToker pointed out, while another argued: ‘Correlation doesn’t equal causation. Looking at your clients means looking at an extremely biased data set.’ 

Leonard, who is known as @jettiegirl28, went viral last week for sharing the professions that a woman should avoid when looking for a husband. 

While she doesn’t use her real name on TikTok, Insider identified her as the founder and managing partner of The Leonard Firm.  

‘When I first started practicing family law 13 years ago, a woman attorney, I think, gave me a statistic about the top five professions of men that women should avoid marrying,’ she said.  

‘I thought, “That’s a really random thing to think about. How would you even get that kind of statistic?” But it stuck in my head, and over the course of my career, I’ve watched my most difficult cases, and shockingly, many of them involve men in these five professions.’

Leonard said she wanted to ‘be really clear’ that not all men in these professions should be avoided, stating that these are just her observations as a divorce lawyer. 

‘If you’re married to someone in these professions, it doesn’t mean it’s your doom to failure,’ she noted. ‘It doesn’t mean that your husband is a bad person. I’m sure there’s outliers in any kind of statistic.

‘But just for fun, this is just, generally speaking, something that I’ve observed as being pretty common.’ 

Leonard claimed that the top five jobs that women should avoid when getting married are: fireman, police officer, military, surgeon, and pilot.

‘What I noticed about these five professions is that they tend to be more narcissistic and they tend to be more controlling,’ she explained.

‘They tend to be far more difficult in dealing with a divorce. They have kind of a nuke the Earth, scorch the Earth, how dare you challenge me kind of approach to litigation.’

Leonard noted these professions all have one thing in common.  

‘The men in these professions, they’re gods in their profession,’ she said. ‘If you’re a policeman, you’re walking around with a gun. You’re walking around with authority. 

‘If you’re a surgeon, you’re walking around the hospital. Everybody looks up to you.  You’re in charge. Everybody treats you with respect. 

‘And then you come home, and all of a sudden somebody’s asking you to take out the trash. I think that’s a difficult kind of transition to make.’

Leonard said this is especially true for pilots and people in the military because they are often ‘in control of 150-200 people’s lives at a time.’ 

‘They are treated with a tremendous amount of respect, and they have a lot of responsibility. They tend to be very narcissistic and very controlling,’ she explained.

‘I’m sure there are definitely great ones in these professions,’ she insisted. ‘But it just tends to be a theme that I see.’