A divorce lawyer has revealed why he thinks men should always pay on the first date – explaining that they should use it as a test to see if the woman is ‘entitled’ or ‘appreciative.’
Justin Lee, an attorney from Toronto, Canada, recently spoke out about why he thinks guys should always offer to cover the cost of a first date – claiming that the woman’s reaction to the offer can determine whether or not they’ll make a good partner.
He explained that if a woman ‘does not have the basic courtesy’ to at least ‘pretend’ that they are going to pay for themselves, and if they have the ‘audacity to expect a near-stranger’ to purchase their meal, then the man should ‘never go on another date with them.’
He shared his views to TikTok and the video quickly went viral – gaining more than 528,000 views and sparking a major debate between people in the comment section.
A divorce lawyer has revealed why he thinks men should always pay on the first date – explaining that they should use it as a test to see if the woman is ‘entitled’ or ‘appreciative’
Justin Lee, an attorney from Toronto, Canada, recently spoke out about why he thinks guys should always offer to cover the cost of a first date
He claimed that the woman’s reaction to the offer can determine whether or not they’ll make a good partner
‘Men should always pay on the first date and get this – it’s for our own good,’ he began in the video.
Justin claimed that most of the time, when men take ‘an issue’ with paying on the first date, it’s not about the amount of money that they’re spending.
He explained that women should ‘have the basic courtesy’ to at least ‘pretend’ that they are going to pay for themselves
He explained: ‘The issue is when we end up paying for someone who has this real sense of entitlement, like this expectation that we will pay.
‘Your date, whoever that is, may very well be the person you end up marrying. Trust me when I say, as a divorce lawyer, who you end up marrying is so important.
‘So let’s say at the end of the date, you pull out your wallet and you offer to pay and your date just sits there, expecting you to pay as if that is the obvious course of action.
‘In that moment, what did you just learn? You just learned that the person in front of you is entitled, and frankly, has the audacity to expect a near-stranger to pay for them.
‘Just imagine how someone like that will treat their significant other, their spouse.’
The lawyer added that for a ‘low’ price of $20-$30, the man can learn a lot about the person they’re on a date with.
‘You [just] learned that the person in front of you does not have the basic courtesy to pretend to offer to pay,’ he added.
‘Therefore you should never go on another date with them. And that’s why men should always pay on the first date.’
The lawyer added if they have the ‘audacity to expect a near-stranger’ to purchase their meal, then the man should ‘never go on another date with them’
He shared his views to TikTok and the video quickly went viral – gaining more than 528,000 views and sparking a major debate between people in the comment section
Justin’s claims launched a huge argument between viewers, with some agreeing with him and others slamming his notion that women should offer to split the bill
Justin’s claims launched a huge argument between viewers, with some agreeing with him and others slamming his notion that women should offer to split the bill.
‘I expect my spouse to take care of me. I won’t pretend anything,’ wrote one person.
‘For a first date, usually the woman has invested far more money (and time) into clothes, hair, makeup, etc. – everything a man expects,’ pointed out another.
‘If the man let’s you pay on the first date… Ladies… Imagine what being married to him for the rest of your life will be like,’ said someone else.
‘For me, it’s not “entitlement,”‘ read a fourth comment. ‘In the future, I will be caring the majority burden of housework, childcare, loss of wages during pregnancy, so much.’
‘Ladies should be really selective when dating. If he is crying over a $30 date then he isn’t financially stable and shouldn’t be dating,’ wrote a different user.
‘Someone who invites me out and expects me to offer on *their* invite has zero manners and probably wouldn’t make a great husband,’ agreed another person.
Someone else said: ‘I think men should pay to show they care about you and to show they are a gentleman.’
‘My time is money,’ added another user. ‘If a man asks me out for a date he has to pay!’
Some people, on the other hand, took Justin’s side. One supporter wrote, ‘I agree 100 per cent. It’s the entitlement that is such a turn off.’
Some people took Justin’s side, with one writing, ‘This is why I always see if my date offers to pay. If she doesn’t attempt, there is no second date. Women simply think it’s about money’
Justin claimed that when men take ‘an issue’ with paying on the first date, it’s not about the amount of money that they’re spending, but rather, about the woman’s ‘entitlement’
‘You are 100 per cent correct,’ agreed someone else. ‘It’s about entitlement verses appreciation.’
‘I’m sorry everyone’s missing your point,’ commented another user. ‘I think if you would’ve left gender out of it, it would’ve been fine but unfortunately people can’t see past that.’
‘I agree. My advice for women is to order what you can afford yourself, and never assume the man will pay,’ read a different comment.
‘Let’s say at the end of the date, your date just sits there, expecting you to pay as if that is the obvious course of action,’ he said. ‘You just learned that the person in front of you is entitled, and frankly, has the audacity to expect a near-stranger to pay for them’
‘This is why I always see if my date offers to pay,’ shared another person. ‘If she doesn’t even attempt, there is no second date. Women simply think it’s about money.’
‘My ex was cheap on first date and was also not a generous person. These small gestures show you who they are,’ wrote one viewer.
In the comment section, Justin wrote that a lot of people were ‘missing the point’ of his video, adding that it’s not actually about who pays for the date, but about having a mutual respect for one another.
‘It is about respecting and appreciating the gesture. As I said in the video, men will gladly pay – the payment isn’t the issue,’ he wrote.
‘The issue is when women perceive the payment as an obligation as opposed to a kind gesture.
‘Entitled versus appreciative. No one owes anybody anything! And for the record, this isn’t gender specific – any man or woman who feels entitled in anyway towards the other is a walking red flag.’
In a follow-up video, he also spoke further about it, explaining that neither men nor women owe each other anything when it comes to a relationship.
‘Men don’t owe women a meal or a drink on a first date, just as the woman doesn’t owe the man the date in the first place – or to sleep with him afterwards,’ he said.
He also claimed that women who expect men to pay for them are usually ‘subservient companions’ who ‘need to be taken care of.’
In the comment section, Justin wrote that a lot of people were ‘missing the point,’ adding that it’s not actually about who pays for the date, but about having a mutual respect for one another
In a follow-up video, he also spoke further about it, explaining that neither men nor women owe each other anything when it comes to a relationship
He claimed that women who expect men to pay for them are usually ‘subservient companions’ who ‘need to be taken care of’
‘At the end of the day, it’s all about what you want. As a woman, do you want to be the subservient companion whose role is to satisfy the man’s needs and to be taken care of?’ he asked.
‘If so, it’s perfectly fine to feel entitled. And I’m sure a man who wants that in a partner will have no problem because guess what, they’ll have their own sense of entitlement towards you.
‘Or, do you want to be an equal partner in the relationship? Whose voice and opinion matters as much as his? Someone whose partner takes care of them because they want to, not because they have to.
‘Someone who will appreciate when a man pays on the first date because you know both of you are equals.
‘Frankly, you can’t have both. You can reap the benefits of both inequality and equality.’
He concluded with a message to ‘all the women out there:’ ‘Claim your seat at the table. Command your respect. You are a perfectly capable individual who doesn’t need a man to take care of them just as a man doesn’t need to take care of you.
‘If life happens, such as pregnancy or motherhood, and the man ends up caring for you – it will be out of love and a real sense of appreciation for your sacrifice.
‘But as soon as you feel entitled to be taken care of, they’ll feel entitled to you bearing their children and raising them.
‘Just to be clear, this has nothing to do with who pays or who takes on what role in the relationship. It’s about having mutual respect and appreciation with one another – which can’t coexist with entitlement.’
He also added in a comment: ‘The bottom line is: respect and appreciate one another. Don’t take one another for granted. We can all at least agree on that, right?’
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