Doria Ragland played a vital role in Megxit, say friends

Amid the turmoil of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s dramatic exit from Britain and the Royal Family, she has been an oasis of calm. 

Stoic and with an unwavering loyalty towards her daughter and son-in-law, Doria Ragland has emerged as a ‘silent but steely’ influence behind the couple’s decision to seek financial independence in North America.

The woman who instilled in her daughter from a young age the motto ‘don’t give the milk away for free’ – or don’t do anything for nothing – has become close to Prince Harry.

‘Harry in particular turns to her for advice,’ said a former confidante of 63-year-old Doria. ‘She is like the Queen – she never complains and never explains.

Stoic and with an unwavering loyalty towards her daughter and son-in-law, Doria Ragland (pictured getting her master’s with Meghan) has emerged as a ‘silent but steely’ influence behind the couple’s decision to seek financial independence in North America

‘She’s laid-back, and people see her nose ring and dreadlocks which are cool – but make no mistake, she has a core of steel. Underestimate her at your peril.

‘Meghan has always trusted her completely but she has become a rock to Harry who, of course, lost his own mother so young.

‘Doria has a great warmth. She’s a brilliant cook and is very motherly, but she isn’t someone who seeks attention, and for Harry her discretion and silence mean the world.’

Indeed, since Doria was famously photographed sitting by herself in a pew at the couple’s wedding in May 2018 – the only member of Meghan’s family to attend the ceremony at Windsor – there have been so few photographs of her that many people have asked: ‘Where’s Doria?’

Aside from a handful of pictures of her walking her two rescue dogs outside her pretty, yellow-painted, terracotta-tiled Los Angeles home or heading to work as a yoga teacher specialising in coaching the elderly, she has remained in the shadows. And that is precisely how she likes it.

‘Doria has always been someone who values her privacy and no more so than now,’ the source added. ‘But she has been back and forth for the last few weeks. And when she’s not with them, she is on the phone constantly.’

Harry described his future mother-in-law as ‘amazing’ in a BBC interview to coincide with his engagement, and when baby Archie was born last May, Doria spent six weeks living with Harry and Meghan at Frogmore Cottage as they adjusted to parenthood.

Even before Archie’s arrival, Doria took a special yoga class in LA aimed at soothing newborns through gentle movements.

Meghan arrives with her mother Doria Ragland and Prince Harry to host an event to mark the launch of a cookbook with recipes from a group of women affected by the Grenfell Tower fire at Kensington Palace in 2018

Meghan arrives with her mother Doria Ragland and Prince Harry to host an event to mark the launch of a cookbook with recipes from a group of women affected by the Grenfell Tower fire at Kensington Palace in 2018

She was also with the family for America’s Thanksgiving holiday in November and again when they spent Christmas at the £11 million waterfront mansion on Vancouver Island, where they remained last night. Doria’s former confidante believes she has most definitely been giving the couple advice during the current drama.

Her background could not be more different from that of the Royals, but she has always had steely self-belief.

Born in Cleveland, Ohio, in 1956 to Jeanette, a nurse, and Alvin, an antiques dealer, Doria was still a baby when the family moved west to Los Angeles in pursuit of the American dream. Alvin, a charismatic man described as ‘catnip to women’, sold knick-knacks from the boot of his car but later had his own antiques shop, although he never made much money because he was always reluctant to part with his treasures.

His death in March 2011 at the age of 82 was a freak accident – he tripped on his dog’s leash and hit his head on the pavement. After his death, Doria found thousands of pounds worth of gold coins hidden in his suit pockets.

Alvin left his home in the middle-class black neighbourhood of Windsor Hills to Doria and her sister Saundra. Doria would buy out her sister, leaving her with a mortgage of around £100,000.

Doria was deeply affected when her mother died young. ‘This was something that led Doria to take care of her body,’ the friend explained. ‘That’s something she instilled in Meghan. Jeanette never reached her full potential.

‘Doria comes across as this nose-ring wearing, dreadlocked hippy but she has total self-belief, something she passed on to Meghan. Doria’s advice to Meghan was always, ‘Don’t give the milk away for free’.

‘When Meghan and Harry announced they were walking away from their jobs as Royals to be financially independent, it immediately smacked of Doria. Being financially independent has always been important to her.’

The woman who instilled in her daughter from a young age the motto 'don't give the milk away for free' – or don't do anything for nothing – has become close to Prince Harry. She is pictured in LA this month

The woman who instilled in her daughter from a young age the motto ‘don’t give the milk away for free’ – or don’t do anything for nothing – has become close to Prince Harry. She is pictured in LA this month

Doria attended Fairfax High School in Hollywood at a time when racial bigotry and tensions were rife. ‘She was part of an all-black group of students which would regularly protest,’ said close friend Jennifer Caldwell. ‘She had this beautiful Afro hairstyle she was so proud of and she was always into fashion. She was always smiling, whip-smart and sociable.

‘Doria was very aware of her own identity and confident in her body and where she was going. She wanted to make something of her life.’

After a period in northern California ‘living a hippy lifestyle’, picking crops under the blazing sun for minimum wage, she returned to Los Angeles in 1979 and began working as a secretary at ABC Studios where she met Thomas Markle. The strapping 6ft 3in 35-year-old divorcee and lighting director worked on the hit TV shows General Hospital and, later, Married With Children.

For Thomas it was ‘love at first sight.’ In a Channel 5 documentary that was screened last week, he told how the pair married in 1979 in a Buddhist ceremony after a whirlwind courtship. Meghan was born two years later, in August 1981.

But the marriage foundered after two years, mostly, according to Thomas, because of his gruelling work schedule. At one point he was working two jobs to pay for the family’s home in the middle-class suburb of Woodland Hills.

When Thomas’s two teenage children from a previous marriage – Tom Jr and Samantha –came to live with them, Doria became a stepmother.

For Thomas (pictured)  it was 'love at first sight.' In a Channel 5 documentary that was screened last week, he told how the pair married in 1979 in a Buddhist ceremony after a whirlwind courtship

For Thomas (pictured)  it was ‘love at first sight.’ In a Channel 5 documentary that was screened last week, he told how the pair married in 1979 in a Buddhist ceremony after a whirlwind courtship

There was also racism to contend with. When Doria would push Meghan (whom she called ‘Flower’) in her pram around the palm-lined streets of Woodland Hills, she would be asked if she was the nanny. ‘Doria wasn’t happy. She wanted to move back to the city and that’s what she did,’ Thomas told Channel 5.

When Meghan was 11, she and her father moved into a flat close to her £13,500-a-year private girls’ school, Immaculate Heart.

Some have questioned why Doria ‘gave up’ Meghan to live with her father from 11 to 18, when she went to university. The Mail on Sunday can reveal there was no ‘giving up’. Doria and Thomas remained close friends, and although Meghan has spoken about how she grew up on the set of General Hospital – the soap which earned her father two Emmy awards – she would spend weekends with both parents.

Meghan and Doria at Cliveden House Hotel near Windsor on May 18, 2018, on the eve of her wedding to Prince Harry

Meghan and Doria at Cliveden House Hotel near Windsor on May 18, 2018, on the eve of her wedding to Prince Harry

Doria, determined to be financially independent, started a dress-making business called A Change Of A Dress. Ultimately the business would fail, but she went on to earn a master’s degree in social work at the University of Southern California.

Thomas retired from ABC Studios seven years ago and moved to the sleepy beach town of Rosarito in Mexico. But he would continue to stay with Doria during his frequent trips to Los Angeles.

‘Doria cooks the best Cajun shrimp gumbo, something she taught Meghan,’ said a source.

‘When Tom came to Los Angeles he would stay with Doria. They always remained the best of friends for Meghan’s sake. Doria would do his laundry. He’d stay the night at her place and she’d cook breakfast in the morning. This was while she had a boyfriend.

‘There was never any problem until Meghan met Harry.’

Indeed, Thomas, Doria and Meghan spent Thanksgiving 2016 together – after Meghan had started dating Prince Harry – in a house Harry rented in Beverly Hills. There were no servants, just the family.

At present, Meghan and Harry are in Canada fielding offers from US TV companies for the coveted first interview. Pictured: Prince Harry arrives at Victoria International Airport on Monday evening

At present, Meghan and Harry are in Canada fielding offers from US TV companies for the coveted first interview. Pictured: Prince Harry arrives at Victoria International Airport on Monday evening

Doria and Meghan cooked and Meghan even posted a picture to her now-defunct website The Tig of her mother and father’s hands on a gravy bowl.

It was only in the run-up to the May 2018 wedding, when Thomas made the ill-fated decision to pose for paparazzi pictures, that the happy family unit fell apart.

Thomas had two heart attacks and was unable to walk his daughter down the aisle – a duty which then fell to Prince Charles, who is also said to be a big fan of Doria.

It is unknown whether Doria now has a partner. She has been photographed with a ring on her engagement finger, although it doesn’t appear to be an engagement ring. She did have a long-term boyfriend while Meghan was growing up but it is not known if they are still together.

At present, Meghan and Harry are in Canada fielding offers from US TV companies for the coveted first interview.

Doria is back in Los Angeles where she was photographed on Friday outside her home. Stoic and silent, just as she – and her daughter and son-in-law – like it.

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