We’ve all seen those shows on TV about people who hoard things. It starts with a few piles of newspapers on the floor, stacks of clothes that never get put away or dishes piling up in the sink.
But then clutter spreads, first across one room, then two. Soon the house is overrun.
We are all hoarders. Not necessarily of things, but of feelings and thoughts. We all get stuck psychologically and spiritually, and our internal landscape starts resembling a hoarder’s house. Bad feelings and thoughts clutter our consciousness. Over time they fester and when the build-up reaches a critical level, disease erupts in our bodies.
When someone enters my consulting room, I see not their isolated symptoms (a digestive problem, a bad back, a headache), but examine them in mind and body. I believe the vast majority of disease is psychosomatic. When we experience emotional upset, we’re often unable to process it.
Hollywood therapist Dr Habib Sadeghi revealed his recommended solutions for cleaning your mind and removing negative thoughts (file image)
Negative energy gets stuck until we become completely saturated with it, subconsciously incorporating resentment, guilt, inadequacy and so on into our personalities. Physical illness is often the result. The first step to good health, therefore, is to cleanse our internal houses, to spring clean our minds. When we learn how to cope with negativity, we feel energised, healthy and well.
To deal with negative emotions such as anger and stress, you need to first recognise how you deal with them by completing these three tests . . .
SHUTTING DOWN
If you answer ‘yes’ to most or all of these questions, it may be a sign you shut down emotions so you don’t have to feel at all.
1. Do you have trouble admitting to negative feelings or that you have suffered trauma?
2. Do you avoid emotionally-charged situations or conversations?
3. Do you keep all or most of the people in your life at arm’s length, never or rarely achieving true closeness and intimacy?
4. Do you often feel isolated or alone?
MINIMISING FEELINGS
Another technique is to pretend emotions aren’t very important or that they’ve already been dealt with when they haven’t. This is emotional posturing, a way to minimise our feelings. Do you answer yes to most or all these questions?
1. Do you diminish the importance or magnitude of your feelings when talking about them (‘It doesn’t matter any more’ or ‘It wasn’t that bad’)?
2. Do you try to put on a happy face or look on the bright side?
3. Have you taken one or more prescription medications for an extended period for pain, insomnia, anxiety, or depression?
Dr Habib Sadeghi believes we put up barriers between ourselves and others when we see ourselves as a victim (file image)
EMOTIONAL ARMOUR
Putting up barriers between ourselves and others. It happens when we see ourselves as victims and someone or something as the cause of our pain. Do you answer yes to most or all of these questions?
1. Do you often avoid situations that make you feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, or exposed?
2. Do you make excuses for why you can’t pursue what you want in life even though you can’t possibly know the outcome (such as, ‘I can’t be in a relationship — my weight means no one will find me attractive’)?
3. Do you often avoid telling people what you really think?
4. Do you tend to conceal your true self from others for fear they won’t like or accept you?
Dr Sadeghi suggests writing down anything that disturbs your peace and then destroying the paper to cleanse yourself from negative energy (file image)
Your task is to notice which mechanisms you use and to begin creating an awareness of your patterns and habits.
WRITE IT DOWN
Things come up in our lives all the time. A job loss. A friend rejects us or our spouse leaves us. Or, more simply, we get stuck in traffic, have an argument, or are overwhelmed at work.
The most powerful way to expel negative emotions is by writing them out. This works best if you just keep writing and don’t think about what you’ll write next . . .
Find a pen and paper and a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit down and set a timer for 12 minutes.
Start writing about whatever disturbs your peace. Don’t think about it too much — just start.
After 12 minutes, stop writing. Immediately take the pages somewhere nonflammable such as your fireplace or driveway and burn them. Fire is transformative and cleansing. Your goal is to neutralise negative energy: fire does that by changing paper to ash.
Do it every day for five days.
Dr Sadeghi claims all music affects the mind and body, but suggests listening to Mozart’s compositions for healing (file image)
FEEL BETTER
We don’t live in a physical body disconnected from what we think and feel. The mind and body work in synergy.
Any mental stress sets off the same survival reaction in the body. As immune suppression is one biological change that takes place, chronic stress makes us vulnerable to diseases of all kinds. We need to de-stress.
For a start, get back to nature. Researchers found patients recovering from surgery who could see views of trees from their beds healed a full day faster than patients with views of brick walls. Spend time walking barefoot and lying in the grass or sand. Get outside.
Listen to Mozart. All music affects the mind and body, but Mozart’s compositions seem to heighten creativity and foster healing — a phenomenon dubbed the Mozart Effect. His music may sharpen brainpower, too. After 10 minutes of a Mozart sonata, students increased spatial IQ scores by eight points or more for up to 15 minutes.
RESTORE LIFE FORCE
With cases of so-called spontaneous healing, patients have nearly always used their minds to get well. Some think of spontaneous healing as hocus-pocus, but documented cases arise again and again.
Selfless people can have a hard time with self-nourishment.
They cancel plans to help a friend move house, work an extra shift so someone can take the day off, run the school fair, chauffeur the children and more. But helping others in a way that neglects our needs leaves us emotionally depleted and physically weakened. Over time it is a prescription for unhappiness and illness.
Creating a ‘womb space’ — a time and place or environment just for us — is essential to process emotions.
It could be as simple as finding a chair you love and making it where you go to read a book, listen to music, or meditate. It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do as long as it has emotional resonance and you won’t be disturbed for at least 10 minutes.
It’s crucial to serve ourselves first — spending time doing things for ourselves will make us better parents, partners, friends and coworkers.
Feeding the soul is so important that I call it ‘spiritual nutrition’ and prescribe it for my patients as an essential tool for wellbeing.
Adapted by Alison Roberts from The Clarity Cleanse by Dr Habib Sadeghi, published by Sphere at £14.99. © Dr Habib Sadeghi 2018