Mark Stoneman thought he knew a thing or two about Australians – until the whole nation united against him for the Ashes.
The England opener can still count on his Sydney-born wife Serene, but has found out over the past month there is no love lost with the rest of Australia once the urn is at stake.
That is no longer the case, of course, after Australia successfully regained the Ashes with an innings victory in Perth to go 3-0 up with two to play.
Mark Stoneman has felt the bitter bite of England’s Ashes opposition down under
But as the tourists bid to prove their mettle in two high-profile dead rubbers in Melbourne and Sydney over Christmas and New Year, Stoneman knows what to expect.
‘It’s been amazing … great attendance, the atmosphere is brilliant – albeit very one-sided,’ he said.
‘They’re not the nicest people when you’re playing against them.’
He has spent several seasons over the past decade travelling down under to play Grade cricket, finding a life companion along the way and generally making friendly acquaintances.
But he added: ‘It gives you a different take on the population when they’ve got a few ales down their neck.
‘Everyone knows what’s riding on it. It’s been second to none, really. It’s been great to be a part of – just very disappointing about the results.’
The England opener endured a torrid time against Australia’s Josh Hazlewood in the third Test
Stoneman took a blow to the chest from one of Hazlewood’s deliveries last Thursday
England’s remaining challenge is to avoid the fate of two of the last three sets of Ashes tourists down under – a 5-0 whitewash.
Stoneman feels a personal responsibility to put things right too, having made a decent fist of the tour with 193 runs at 32.16 but without the telling impact he wanted.
‘The Aussies are going to be coming at us looking for 5-0,’ added the Surrey opener. ‘So there’s the first thing we’ve got to stop.
Their victory confirmed Australia had regained the Ashes after earning a 3-0 advantage
The Aussies head into the fourth Test looking to close in on another 5-0 series whitewash
‘They’re not going to be serving up half-volleys for fun because they’ve won the series, that’s for sure.’
There were certainly very few at the WACA, where Stoneman endured a torrid time against Josh Hazlewood especially – hit on the helmet and then dropped twice before falling caught-behind to Mitchell Starc from another delivery he thought had brushed the grille rather than his glove.
It was all in a day’s work, though, for the seasoned 30-year-old from Newcastle.
‘You’ve three quicks coming in – you get one wrong, and you wear it .. crack on,’ he said.
‘I was under no illusions what was going to be happening before I came on the tour, and it’s pretty much lived up to expectations… bit of short stuff, then they try and nick you off or hit the stumps – lbw after that.’
Stoneman insisted that England will go into the Test looking to put on a display to be proud of
He just wishes he could have cashed in better after doing so much of the hard work.
At the suggestion he has done ‘all right’, he commented: ‘The key there is ‘all right. Obviously at 3-0 down, ‘all right’ hasn’t been good enough.
‘It’s frustrating that there have been times out there when I feel I’ve belonged, but I haven’t made the scores that are required in Test cricket.’
He and England still have an opportunity to finish the tour strongly, though, and for Stoneman it is a matter of personal and collective pride.
‘We’re (all) looking forward to Boxing Day,’ he said.
‘We want to put in a performance that everyone back home can say ‘the boys are in the fight’ and still be proud of us.’
The batsman claimed the Aussies ‘are not the nicest people’ when the Ashes are at stake