A sex and relationship expert has revealed her top seven tips to improving your most intimate moments including making fantasies and feeling sexy a priority
A sex and relationship expert has revealed her top seven tips to improving your most intimate moments including making fantasies and feeling sexy a priority.
Speaking to FEMAIL Christine Rafe, a Sydney-based sex therapist with ten years experience said women can boost the quality of their love lives by completing her seven favourite tasks each day.
She revealed women should notice a difference in themselves within a week – and can then ‘pick and choose’ which activities they like most.
‘They don’t require a big time commitment, but with continued practice of any or all of these, you are building skills that can improve your overall sexual health and satisfaction,’ she said.
The first thing Christine, who also works with popular sex toy brand Womanizer, recommends is for women to take about two minutes to ‘focus on their senses’.
This can be incorporated into your daily routine and is the perfect exercise to do in the morning when applying moisturiser, according to the expert.
‘Give yourself a slow, sensual massage while rubbing in the moisturiser to your face and/or body. While not overtly sexual, mindful awareness of our senses is key in sexual arousal and pleasure.
Building your self confidence is also important and can be achieved fairly easily.
The first thing Christine recommends is for women to take about two minutes to ‘focus on their senses’ every morning
‘Identify three things that you celebrate in yourself and say them out loud to yourself,’ she said.
‘If it feels right to you, think about what makes you sexy, or alternatively, find three things that you are grateful for in yourself.’
These ‘positives’ can relate to your style, personality or appearance.
‘Negative chatter and low confidence are indicators of low sexual satisfaction, so start practicing self-appreciation.’
It is also important to allow yourself to fantasise, according to Christine, who wants to remind women that their brains are their largest sex organ.
She added that people can shut down their fantasies because they feel uncomfortable or it doesn’t feel like the right time.
But this only works to ‘stifle your sexuality’.
‘Allowing fantasy and space for sexual thoughts is a game-changer when it comes to increasing desire,’ she said.
‘When you’re sitting on the bus, waiting for your coffee, or in the shower, give yourself the permission to reflect on enjoying a past sexual experience, or let your imagination run wild with something that would really turn you on.’
WHAT ARE CHRISTINE’S TOP SEVEN SEX TIPS?
1 – Practice being mindfully aware: This can be achieved by tapping in to your senses, focusing on one, or all, for two minutes each day.
2 – Build your self confidence: She suggests picking three things that you like about yourself and repeating them throughout the day.
3 – Allow yourself to fantasise: This can be done at any time and anywhere – including on the bus or while enjoying your morning coffee.
4 – Identify something that you would like more of in your life, that feels sexually relevant to you: This could mean more make-out sessions, physical touch, flirting.
5 – Practice something you want to say to a sexual partner, that could make intimacy and sex even better for you: Use statements such as “I love it when we…” “It would turn me on so much if…”
6 – Wear your sexiest underwear, put on a sexy song, and give yourself a sexy dance when no one is around: : You are performing only for you, so allow yourself to move, touch, whip your hair, or do anything that feels sexy to you.
7 – Prioritise a solo session: You can spend as much or as little time as you want on this, but make it a focus for the day
Source: Christine Rafe for Womanizer
It is also important to identify what sexually relevant thing you would ‘like more of’ according to Christine, a tip that is just as important for couples as it is for singles.
‘This could be more making out with your partner, more physical touch, more pleasure, or more flirting,’ she said.
Christine also recommends people ‘practice something you want to say to a sexual partner, that could make intimacy and sex even better for you’.
‘Identifying and practicing what we want to say to someone is so useful in building confidence to actually say it! Write it down, say it out loud to yourself, in the mirror,’ she said.
Christine also recommends people ‘practice something you want to say to a sexual partner, that could make intimacy and sex even better for you’
She also recommends putting on sexy underwear, a sexy song or doing a sexy dance when no-one is around.
‘You are performing only for you, so allow yourself to move, touch, whip your hair, or do anything that feels sexy to you in that moment,’ she said.
Her final tip is to prioritise self-pleasure, noting it can be a quick or drawn-out as you like – as long as it has your entire focus.
She says some sex toys including those in the Womanizer range can ‘get the job done in a minute’ while other people might prefer a longer, drawn out experience.