FLOURISHING AFTER 50: My son wants me to sell my house to help him and his wife buy their own place. He said I can live in a granny flat out the back. Should I do it?

Dear Vanessa, 

I’m a widow in my early 60s, and my son and his wife are expecting their first baby. He’s asked me to sell my house so they can afford a deposit for their own place, and he says I could live with them in a granny flat out the back.

I do get lonely, so the idea of being around them and my new grandchild sounds lovely. But I’m worried it might not work out as smoothly as he thinks. His wife and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, and sometimes I get the feeling she doesn’t like me much. The last thing I want is to sell my home, move in with them, and then end up feeling like a burden if things go wrong.

I want to help my son, but I’m nervous about giving up my independence and the home I’ve had for years. Is there another way I can support him without giving up my own security?

Thanks,

Joyce.

Send your questions to leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov at flourishingafter50@dailymail.com.au 

Dear Joyce, You’re clearly a caring mum, and it’s understandable that you want to help your son as he starts a family. But selling your home and moving in with them is a big decision, especially given your independence and the comfort your home provides. Taking a moment to consider your own needs as well as theirs is very wise.

One option is finding an apartment or smaller place nearby, rather than moving in together. This way, you’d still be close for support and can be near your new grandchild, while keeping your own space and security. 

If you haven’t done so already, it could be helpful to get your home valued. Knowing its worth will give you a clear sense of what you have to work with. And if you have any remaining debt on your house, now’s a good time to consider how that might impact your plans.

Your health and well-being are also important to consider. As we get older, health needs can change, and aged care can be quite costly if you need it in the future. It’s essential not to leave yourself short by giving away too much now. Ensuring you have a solid financial cushion can give you peace of mind and the freedom to manage any future health or care needs.

Encourage your son to take a close look at his own finances and work out the minimum he truly needs from you for a deposit. He may be able to secure a mortgage on his own for a large part of the purchase. I offer a free tool on my website that can show him competitive interest rates to help him get a realistic picture of his options. This could be a valuable way for him to consider different paths without relying solely on your help.

It might also be worth sitting down with a financial adviser together to explore options that support him while protecting your own future. This is a good time to talk about topics like inheritance, aged care, and the big picture for your later years. Having these conversations now can help ensure both your needs are met, with a plan that works for everyone.

I have a free resource on my website to help start the conversation with him around inheritance and get you thinking about your future. 

It’s wonderful that you’re ready to help, but make sure you’re looked after as well. Your home, health, and independence are all valuable, but your peace of mind matters too.

Warmly,

Vanessa.