FLOURISHING AFTER 50: Our mortgage is destroying our life. We can’t even afford to go out for dinner. Should we sell our home and rent instead?

Dear Vanessa,

I’m really struggling and could use your advice. My husband and I have a mortgage, and with interest rates going up so many times, nearly all our money goes into keeping the house. We’re constantly stretched thin, and it’s causing a lot of tension between us.

Everyone seems to think that owning a home is the ultimate goal, but I’m beginning to question if it’s really worth all the stress. We used to enjoy simple things, like going out for dinner or catching a movie, but now we barely do anything fun. It feels like we’re just working to stay afloat, and that’s not what I want our life to be. 

My husband wants to hold onto the house no matter what, but I’m starting to think that selling and renting might give us the breathing room we need to actually enjoy life again.

I don’t want to lose our home, but honestly, I’d rather have some financial freedom than be constantly stressed and fighting. I just want us to figure out a way to stop living from pay to pay. 

Do you think it’s possible, or is selling our best option?

Thanks so much for your help,

Margaret.

Send your questions to leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov at flourishingafter50@dailymail.com.au

Dear Margaret,

It sounds like you need some extra cash to enjoy life again! Financial stress can be overwhelming, but there are some proactive steps you can take to improve your situation.

First, have you considered looking for a better mortgage rate? Many banks charge long-term customers what’s now being called a ‘loyalty tax’ – they often give better rates to new customers while charging more to those who stay. It’s worth checking to see if you can negotiate or refinance for a better deal. Here’s a free tool on my site to help you find the best mortgage rate, whether you’re buying or refinancing.

Have you also thought about taking on a side hustle? These days, there are so many ways to bring in extra income that can ease the pressure. You could try platforms like Upwork, Airtasker, babysitting, or even driving for Uber. Even a few hundred extra dollars a month can give you more breathing room and allow you to enjoy some of the simple pleasures you’ve had to cut back on.

Another thing to consider is the cost of renting. Rent can be pricey, too, and moving comes with its own set of expenses and stresses. If you’re seriously thinking about selling, I’d recommend talking to a financial adviser first. They can help you figure out the best timing and strategy for getting the most from your home if you do decide to go that route.

But above all, the most important thing here is your relationship. Set aside a time and place to sit down with your husband and make an occasion of it. Openly talk about your situation, listen to each other’s points of view, and come up with a plan together. Communication and being on the same page are key to navigating this. Here’s an extract from my book The Five Conversations about Money that can help guide you on talking to your partner.

Maybe together you’ll find that some small adjustments in income are all you need to feel less stressed, and you can keep your home while still enjoying life.

Wishing you both the best,

Vanessa.