A former member of the Mormon church has revealed the unsettling melodies the sect would teach to kids as young as primary school.
Alyssa Grenfell, 31, has built a fanbase of hundreds of thousands of followers over the past few years as she’s shared her story – from being raised in a devout Mormon family to her decision to leave the church as a young adult.
Often delving into the many idiosyncrasies of growing up Mormon, Alyssa has most recently revealed – and performed – a number of songs she was taught in her religious school from childhood.
First up, and most jaw-dropping, was ‘I Like Mormon Boys,’ sung to the tune of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back, the iconic early ’90s rap homage to women with prominent rear ends.
Ex-Mormon Alyssa Grenfell, 31, is known by hundreds of thousands on social media for speaking out against her former religion, which she left in early adulthood
As her most recent insight into her Mormon upbringing, Alyssa gave a preview of three songs she was taught in childhood – including a bizarre, sanitized rendition of Baby Got Back
The very explicit lyrics include phrases such as ‘when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung’ and ‘My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.’
The creepily sanitized Mormon version, of which Alyssa performed the first few lines, are as follows: ‘I like Mormon boys and I cannot lie / You other girls can’t deny / When a guy walks in with scripture case and a smile on his face you get a date!
‘A celestial mate! / Oh but wait! / He’s going on a mission leavin’ you wishing that you had a man / Someone to hold your hand.
‘So deacons! (what) Teachers! (what) We don’t want your features / ‘Cause your brothers are hot and you are not / So bring on those righteous priests, HUH!’
A quick Google search revealed several videos of pre-teen girls enthusiastically reciting the lyrics to the rhythm of the original Baby Got Back verse.
The next song Alyssa described is called Follow the Prophet, which, she added, kids are taught starting at age three.
The lyrics, which repeat ‘Follow the prophet,’ in reference to adhering to the teachings of Mormon church founder Joseph Smith, conclude: ‘Follow the prophet, don’t go astray / Follow the prophet, he knows the waaay.’
The third song Alyssa shared, also taught starting in primary school, is called ‘I Hope They Call Me On a Mission.’
Alyssa and her husband tied the knot in the Mormon church, but she and her husband left the church not long after
Since leaving the church, Alyssa has regularly spoken out about her experiences, from the bizarre dating norms to the hyper-strict rules of Mormon institution Brigham Young University
Commenters on Alyssa’s 58-second video expressed horror at the ‘indoctrination’ effect of the songs – with many especially disturbed at the Mormon-ized rendition of Baby Got Back
The song is seemingly intended to hype up young children about going on their ‘mission’ – a mandatory rite-of-passage of Mormons in young adulthood that involves traveling and living elsewhere for a year to attempt to convert people in faraway communities to Mormonism.
The lyrics, as Alyssa sang them, go: ‘I hope they call me on a mission / When I have grown a foot or two / I hope by then I will be ready / To teach and preach and work as missionaries do, do-do-do-do.’
Commenters on the YouTube version of Alyssa’s 58-second video were aghast, most of all at the Baby Got Back parody.
‘”You get a date… a celestial mate!” Well, that escalated quickly,’ quipped one.
‘I think my brain just had a 404 error. I was NOT prepared for the Mormon indoctrination version of Baby Got Back,’ a second admitted.
‘What they did with Baby Got Back should be considered a crime in all 50 states and US territories,’ declared a third.
‘I was expecting hymns not THIS,’ added a fourth.
‘Follow the “profit,”‘ a fifth chimed in, taking aim at the Mormon church’s notoriously large coffers, valued in the hundreds of billions.
‘The most brainwashy part is that they make kids age three sing them. They want to have them doctrinized from so early on so that they don’t question anything about the church later in life. It’s crazy,’ a seventh pointed out, disturbed at the underlying logic.
Alyssa tied the knot with her Mormon husband in her early 20s.
Not long afterwards, the couple left the Mormon church after grappling with the extent of its discrimination against women, non-white people, the LGBTQ+ community and more.
She’s since regularly spoken out about her experiences, from the bizarre dating norms, to post-death baptisms and the hyper-strict rules of Mormon institution Brigham Young University, to the phenomenon of ‘cult voice.’
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