Victorians are accustomed to being told what they can and can’t do by practically everyone.
During this year’s footy season, they were told they couldn’t even barrack for their team the way they had done so all for of their lives.
Now they’re being told they’re not smart enough to get 13 out of 15 questions right to get a jet ski endorsement on their boating licence.
Victorians are being forced to see accredited trainers before they can get a jet ski endorsement on their marine licence
Flying a kite the wrong way in Victoria can get you in deep trouble in Victoria
As of now, VicRoads has stopped booking in licence tests altogether and are insisting if Victorians want to ride a Personal Water Craft – Kawasaki owns the word Jet Ski – they need to see an accredited trainer.
So people who have diligently studied the guide book to get their marine licence now have to fork out anywhere up to $130 to be trained ‘properly’.
There has been no word of the changes in legislation anywhere.
A trainer contacted by Daily Mail Australia didn’t even know the laws had gone live.
But he assured it was happening.
When the Department of Transport was asked for comment, it claimed it was business as usual – for now.
‘VicRoads is still taking bookings for PWC endorsement. Applicants are still able to take the knowledge-based test at VicRoads offices or with an Accredited Training Provider,’ it stated.
But they’re not.
It’s hardly worth complaining about.
Besides, who would listen?
You’ll be told these are dangerous machines.
In 2016 Ivan Maqi was jailed for five years after hooning in a swimmers-only zone off Port Melbourne.
Months later a 16-year-old boy was arrested after crashing his jet ski into a boat at Portarlington.
So a few idiots have spoiled it for the rest of us.
Victorians are a reckless, selfish and dangerous lot.
But thankfully there are many out there who know how to save us from ourselves.
Victorian legislation is littered with crazy laws.
Western Bulldogs coach Luke Beveridge hit the nail on the head earlier this year when discussing booing at AFL matches
Gel blasters are nice and legal in Queensland. They are children’s play toys that would get you shot in the face in Victoria. Or jailed
It is an offence in Victoria to fly a kite to ‘the annoyance of any person’ in a public place?
Yep. Maximum penalty is a $777 fine.
Singing an obscene song or ballad in a public place can attract a maximum fine of $1554 or two months’ imprisonment.
Mess up again and its a $2331 fine or three months in jail.
Do it again and you can cop six months in jail.
It is still a crime to loot a shipwreck, use a harnessed goat to pull a vehicle in public or correspond or do business with pirates.
A few years back Victoria Police reported an individual was caught practicing hypnotism under the age of 21.
It is an offence in Victoria to make unreasonable noise with a vacuum cleaner after 10pm or before 7am on weekdays, and 9am on weekends.
The noise will be considered unreasonable if it can be heard in a ‘habitable’ room in any other residential property, whether they have the door or window open or closed.
Police or the council can direct you to stop making the noise for 72 hours and a breach of their direction can carry a fine of up to $18,655, with an extra fine up to $4,663 a day for continuing noise violations.
In Queensland kids can still buy a ‘gel blaster’ and shoot each other in the head with soft gel bullets.
Pull one out in Victoria and cops are likely to put a full metal jacket bullet into your chest.
But the fun police are everywhere down south.
Schools have banned the age old playground game of tiggy in Victoria
There are no less than a dozen criminal offences that can be committed by visitors to the MCG, from damaging a plant to moving a boundary marker.
‘Interfering with the enjoyment’ of the grand prix is also a crime, as is ‘attempting to distract’ the driver of a Formula One race car.
Schools in Melbourne have outlawed ‘tiggy’ or ‘tag’, with one primary school banning high-fives and hugging.
Other schools in Victoria have banned running, and any games involving leather footballs ‘to avoid head injuries’.
Boo someone at the footy these days and you’ll be compared to Hitler.
Western Bulldogs coach Luke Beveridge had it spot on when asked about the topic earlier this year.
‘We’ve become a bit of a nanny state,’ Beveridge said.
The introduction of ‘behavioural awareness’ staff at AFL matches this season was another sign of ‘nanny state’ mentality.
A fan was actually kicked out for calling an umpire a ‘bald-headed flog’.
Former Victorian Premier upset the politically correct police this year when he voiced an opinion on heavy handed actions by security at AFL footy matches
The introduction of ‘behavioural awareness’ staff at AFL matches this season was another sign of ‘nanny state’ mentality.
Former Victorian premier Jeff Kennett went as far as to suggest the officers patrolling AFL crowds were ill-equipped because they appeared to be ‘new arrivals’.
‘I’m not being racist when I say this, but when I saw some of the footage, the people who are making judgments while they wear these authoritative coats, are not people who appear to have a great knowledge of our game,’ he told 3AW’s Neil Mitchell.
‘And yet they make judgments about what’s correct and not correct.’
He doubled-down when asked by The Australian if he was sorry about what he had said to Neil.
‘I’m worried I’m going to get thrown out of a match,’ he said. ‘I get very excited watching the Hawks. I love it.
‘I don’t withdraw anything I’ve said whatsoever. I don’t make any apology for what I’ve said, because 99 per cent of the public would agree with what I’m saying.’
In a state where commentating footy can almost get you hanged – ask Eddie McGuire – you have to wonder what Hoges would make out of all of this?
Hoges would be turning in his grave about the state of affairs in Victoria – if he was dead
Paul Hogan has admitted his classic show probably couldn’t exist today
The Paul Hogan Show just couldn’t exist in Victoria today.
It would be blocked faster than a pirating torrent site.
‘The sketches were designed, not for you to perv on the girls, but to show what idiots we men can make of ourselves over an attractive woman,’ Hoges told the ABC’s Australian Story last month.
‘So it is a bit sexist, and I apologise to the men.’
Can someone get Hoges on a plane?
Please?