‘Not only women feel broody’: Transgender man reveals he was desperate to have a child before he went through ‘a total loss of self’ as he became pregnant with his baby
- Freddy McConnell, 30, is a gay transgender man who gave birth to a baby boy
- A film of his experience of pregnancy will premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival
- His mother described her fears for her son as he embarked on the pregnancy
- He spent most of the nine months he was pregnant with his son in Deal, Kent
A documentary that follows a transgender man during his pregnancy with his now nearly two-year-old baby will premier later this month.
Although Freddy McConnell, 30, was born biologically female, and therefore has a uterus and is able to conceive and carry a baby full term, he transitioned to male in his early 20s.
And his experience of pregnancy in the small town of Deal in Kent will be shown at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 27.
Freddy McConnell, 30, is a gay transgender man whose experience of giving birth to his baby boy will premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 27
And Freddy’s mother tells the documentary her first thought when she was told the child she had raised a girl wanted to be a boy was ‘this does mean no grandchildren from Freddy’
The film’s trailer, released by The Guardian, shows clips from Freddy’s pregnancy as he faces the ‘daunting experience’ of losing part of his male identity in order to give birth.
He says: ‘This is a film about me having a baby but what I feel like I am going through is not just me having a baby or pregnancy. It is total loss of myself.’
During his pregnancy he lived in Deal, Kent, the small town where he had grown up, because the close-knit community made him feel more comfortable than London.
And Freddy’s mother tells the documentary her first thought when the child she had raised a girl told her he wanted to be a boy was ‘this does mean no grandchildren from Freddy’.
Despite being told he would be infertile from the moment he started taking testosterone at the age of 25 Freddy wanted a baby.
And after years of soul searching the Guardian journalist decided carrying his baby himself was what he wanted to do and he began to try to conceive.
He said: ‘I did always want to have kids one day. Not only women feel broody. I am going to have my own baby and I will be a Dad.’
Freddy started taking testosterone at 25 and had ‘top surgery’ to remove breast tissue a year later.
But he never had a hysterectomy to remove his uterus because he had not ruled out wanting children.
He conceived using a sperm donor and stopped taking testosterone in a bid to become pregnant.
The film’s trailer, released by The Guardian , shows clips from Freddy’s pregnancy as he faces the ‘daunting experience’ of losing himself in order to give birth
His periods returned, facial hair lessened, hips widened, and voice became more feminine sounding.
He told The Guardian ‘every time I think about it, I think, “What the f*** am I doing?”‘
In the documentary he sobs in to the camera in the middle of the night and says ‘I feel like a f***ing alien.’
In the run up to the birth Freddy admitted all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and be at the other side of the experience.
And his mother tells the documentary she feared for her son as he opened himself up to trans phobic abuse.
She broke down in tears as she said: ‘As a trans man to carry your own child is a scary daunting experience. You just worry for your child. You want them to be happy.’
On a happier note Freddy’s mother remembered her own experience of being pregnant.
She said: ‘I loved being pregnant. Everyone should experience it shouldn’t they. Especially men.’
A description for the trailer reads: ‘Freddy is 30 and yearns to start a family but for him this ordinary desire comes with unique challenges.
‘He is a gay transgender man. Deciding to carry his own baby took years of soul searching, but nothing could prepare him for the reality of pregnancy, as both a physical experience and one that challenges society’s fundamental understanding of gender, parenthood and family.’